Teacher lying or son lying

[Gudinne]

Just looking for some advice. My son is four. On Friday after school he told me that his ear was sore because he had accidentally popped a small stone down it at school that morning. I asked if he had told a teacher, he said yes and told me which teacher he had told. It wasn't his normal class teacher who he said was not in school on Friday. I asked him what the teacher had said when he told her, he can't remember what she said but she didn't look in his ear. I couldn't see anything in his ear but took him to A&E where they removed a small stone from his ear. He is fine, no damage done.

I emailed school about this and asked in future if any staff become aware of anything that means my child needs medical attention they let me know immediately.

School has responded to say the teacher said my son never told her he had a stone in his ear. I believe my son and can't think of any reason why he would lie.

What if any further action should I take? His dad and my sis reckon do nothing as the teacher will just maintain her position so it's her word against that of my son. They reckon that there are probably teachers just like her in every school.

I don't think this is really about lying, this is about a young child worrying he is in trouble and telling you what he thinks you want to hear. More important than finding someone to blame for your son putting something in his ear is ensuring he knows that this could be quite dangerous and he must by no means do it again.

A 4 year old really would do that.

She has nothing at all to lose by saying “sorry, I misunderstood/misheard and didn’t realise it was serious. Glad X is well now.”

She wouldn’t be in trouble for a simple mistake. Which I why I really don’t believe that she’s lying.

It’s much more likely to be the DS perceived he’d told her but he said something unclear (which is perfectly normal and common thing for a 4 year old to do!) like “my stone fell down”. Or he said he told her because that’s the answer he knew he was ‘supposed’ to say.

That’s it then - waterproof evidence that all teachers lie and children don’t 🙄

Why would the child lie?

• *It is possible that neither of them lied. The child may have thought he had told her he could have said something but she might not have heard or understood him. He can't remember what she said or did. Given how young he is it just sounds like a misunderstanding.

I have a lively Year 8 class containing 30 students. They're more than twice his age, but constantly want to tell me stuff. Funny things that have happened to them; did I see the Liverpool match; my earrings are nice; have I got a pen; which is my favourite horror film; do I want to read Abby's poem; lunch smelled nice when they walked past the canteen; Mo has been excluded.

In one single hour I can expect to have more than 50 separate enthusiastic social interactions, while also trying to actually teach them something. If someone told me they had put a stone in their ear, I honestly might not even hear them in amongst the students trying to show me their nice pencil case or tell me something weird they saw in geography. If they weren't actively crying I'd probably just nod and smile.

I wouldn’t worry too much about who is “lying” or take this any further. It would be more worrying if it were his usual teacher. Put it behind you, your child has had the treatment he needed and hopefully won’t do it again 🤣

Consult a solicitor and begin legal proceedings against the school and teacher. Pursue the case all the way, to the High Court if necessary. At the very least you should be able to get the teacher dismissed, although it might cost a bit. Worth it, though?!

I agree, teachers are people just like anybody else so will always look to cover up for their own failings. I’d be demanding this teacher’s resignation if it was my child this happened to.

@SandraCumin This cannot be a serious response?! Poor teachers.

My 4 year old isn't always clear. It's likely the teacher misunderstood or did not hear. So, neither is lying

I find some replies on this thread to be a bit aggressive to be honest.
Why wouldn't OP believe her DS? I can't see why a child would lie about this.
I would definitely be taking this further!

Sorry, why is the teacher correct?

She was told, just because she, or he, didn't pay attention to what a child was trying to tell them doesn't make them right.

How does someone 'accidentally' put a stone in their ear? Unless I suppose they were aiming for their nose

The child was in trouble, he tried to get help from a teacher and was ignored. Now the child is accused of lying.

But yes, poor teacher.

Everyone thinking of going into teaching should read this thread … and then consider their options.
If this is the level of parental critical thought that goes into dealing with an incident then I despair.

@ArseMenagerie Agreed.

Typically four year olds are what's known as unreliable narrators. Typically, adult professionals aren't.

Can you or anyone else who thinks the teacher is lying explain why? Couldn't be bothered? Hates the OP's kid? What?

Well it could be that she didn't pay attention to him at the time and is now covering her arse but how does that automatically means that the 4YO is lying?

Teacher realises child had a genuine medical emergency which was ignored and lies to avoid trouble.

Hate's neither here nor there, why would you even bring it up as an option? To obfuscate the perfectly possible explanation?

Makes more sense that the child lying.

Bloody hell OP, just teach your child not to shove things in his ear, nose or any other orifice! It wasn’t the teacher’s fault that he did something so silly!

And I work in an infant school, in circle time at 9 am most 4 year olds can’t remember what they had for breakfast an hour ago! I doubt very much he could remember who he spoke to or what he said.

Also, we already know the child has not told the whole truth as no one puts a stone in their ear 'by accident'. Probably he was messing about and knows he shouldn't have been and was worried about getting into trouble so said nothing. Then he tells mum what she wants to hear to avoid getting into trouble. 4 year old are like this. I think you need to let it go.

Even if the teacher did lie the most they could have given look and not seen anything like you did. It wouldn’t have been sore until later on which is when you became concerned.

Why would they think your son needed medical attention?

Teacher realises child had a genuine medical emergency which was ignored and lies to avoid trouble

Teachers have no reason to “ ignore” a medical emergency. Any teacher of 4 year olds is well used to dealing with all sorts of emergencies. Bangs, falls, stuck body parts , heads, toilet accidents. It comes with the job.

I couldn't see anything in his ear

WTAF? I didn't realise teachers had xray vision too. If you couldn't see it how the hell do you think a teacher could??

Just teach your child not to mess about and definitely not put items in his body holes.