Feb/March 2023 Birth Club

[TeddyBeans]

Hello my lovelies! I thought I'd make a post birth thread so we can continue our chats now that our little ones are earthside. Feel free to tap out!

20/1 - botleybump 💓 (due 23/2)
10/2 - Amy1303 💙 (due 27/3)
12/2 - Babynum2 💙 (due 5/3)
12/2 - Cams50 💙 (due 2/3)
13/2 - LizziBee 💙
14/2 - BabyNumber3OnTheWay 💙 (due 28/2)
18/2 - Ubbee 💙 (due 27/2)
19/2 - beatingheartbaby 💓 (due 14/3)
21/2 - suchardchoccy 💓 (due date baby!)
22/2 - muminlndn 💓
24/2 - saltandpepperr 💙 (due 6/3)
24/2 - mrs2022 💙 (due 24/3)
25/2 - JTB123 💓 (due 1/3)
25/2 - Splashh 💓 (due 8/3)
26/2 - GreenIsle 💓 (due 7/3)
26/2 - LaForza101 💙 (due 3/3)
27/2 - EastyBaby19 💙 (due 4/3)
27/2 - Katdemar 💙 (due 4/3)
28/2 - TeddyBeans 💓 (due 26/2)
1/3 - Franklin123 💓 (due 13/3)
2/3 - Thirdtimesacharm3 💙 (due 6/3)
2/3 - allthingssparkly 💙 (due 6/3)
3/3 - Blondewave 💙
3/3 - June628 💓 (due 8/3)
3/3 - Noodle20 💓 (due 7/3)
6/3 - Shep21 💓 (due 18/3)
7/3 - MoronikaFaceache 💓 (due 1/3)
7/3 - Room4onemore 💓 (due 17/3)

@Rainbowbaby23 unfortunately you'll have that until little one is old enough to make their own decision (about 10, sorry to say). I've recently been made to look unreasonable for saying no to extra contact when we have a court order in place 🤷‍♀️ just stick to your guns, you have court to fall back on if things get ugly.

As long as you can prove you intend contact to happen and have a plan for said contact to increase over time (ex has eow fri-sun and a midweek videocall now DS is almost 5 - regularly upped from where we started at 3 hours every other Saturday when he was 15 months old) then you'll probably be given what you ask for - especially if a routine is already set up by the time you go to court

Thankyou! Is that the same for even when both parents are named on the birth certificate? I’m afraid of him expecting more control when we go get him registered together next week

Hello!

Question about baby admin -

For our baby we have :

• applied for the child benefit
• birth certificate
• applied for first passport
• booked 6-8 week first GP appointment
• booked 8 week health visitor appointment

Is there anything else to do at this point ?

She's 3 weeks old and I know we need to apply for the nursery for next year, but that's around June time.

No point to this post other than a little moan cos I feel sorry for myself - bubba is just over 3 weeks old and I have norovirus 😩 already feeling exhausted + being sick constantly is draining. As if I thought having a newborn could get any tougher!

@havananana you're more organised than me😂 we're going to register the birth tomorrow, registered with our GP and they've booked our 6 week check, will do child benefit once we've got the birth certificate.
We won't bother with a passport as we don't know when we'll be going anywhere 😂

Yup. Donkey's on DS' birth certificate. He'll have equal rights as you to your DS with regard to parental responsibility but as you're the resident parent, he has to gain your approval more than you do his for various things especially if you do get a court order - I can take DS abroad without donkey's consent but he still has to get mine for example.

IIRC Citizens advice do a parental agreement template which can help you set out what the plan is for contact and stuff. It's not legally binding but is a good starting point for both of you knowing exactly what you're expecting from the other parent. I'll see if I can find a link for you

The only thing I've not done off your list is the passport as we don't intend to go abroad until she's over a year old so seems a bit pointless getting it now. There's nothing glaringly obvious that you're missing tbh

@BabyLimey hope it passes quickly for you 💐 it's horrible being ill with a newborn!

@Rainbowbaby23 this is the one I used

https://www.separatedfamilies.info/home/parenting-apart/parenting-agreements

Fill one it, send one to your ex to fill in and then with a neutral 3rd party, sit down and talk about each element until you're both somewhat happy with the compromises - there will need to be some on both sides otherwise it won't work. Agree a timeframe to renegotiate (we did 3 months, I'd go for at least 6 with a newborn) and stick to it. Keep it as evidence for if you do end up in court to show what routine your DS is used to, courts usually like to stick to the status quo

@TeddyBeans Thankyou so much!!

does anyone have any tips for reflux? Kyrie is projectile vomiting after feeds no matter how often he is burped and i keep him upright for 20/30 mins after before putting him down. He’s then starving again right after so feels like a continuous cycle and i am drained and afraid to sleep

Thank you!

Has anyone's baby girl had little swollen lumps under nipples?

I've read it's normal and will also give a ring to the health visitor tomorrow, but since they only appeared after 2 weeks I want to double check if that's normal as the NHS site says

@havananana Izzy had exactly the same at two weeks. Midwife said it was just hormones, same as her spotty face. She's 5 weeks now and they're not there anymore

Anyone else struggling to stay awake for the night feeds? The last few days (actually probably a week) I wake up and just can’t get myself to move, or if I do wake up and get her, I can’t stay awake to do the full routine of nappy, bottle, burp, settle and transfer back to the next to me. Any tips on staying awake? I need to get better again as husband is starting a new job next week and has a couple of long car journeys! So don’t want to rely on him for help in the night🙈

@Shep21 I've stopped doing nappy everytime he wakes up. I was using aldi nappies and it was full everytime now I'm using pampers I only do it once in the night. I'm also struggling I keep waking up with a headache and I'm sure it's lack of sleep

@TeddyBeans thank you! That reassures me.

She's also had no poopy nappies since Monday 21:30, so over 48h now but is otherwise all fine.

Waiting for the HV to call back with advice

@havananana also normal! Izzy's been 2-3 days without a poo. DS was the same - both formula fed

I struggled with this too but I’ve found a couple of things that help are having a bottle of water and some snacks on the bedside table. Cold water is good for waking you up slightly so I’ve got an insulated metal bottle so it stays cold. Snacks wise something sweet is good to keep you going (I’ve been ravenous since I’ve been breastfeeding 😅) like a couple of breakfast biscuits or a cereal bar. Keeps the energy levels up and is a little thing to look forward to at 3am! 😆

s that was in response to @Shep21

Thank you @TeddyBeans !

If I went 2-3 days without a poop or even a day I would be much more upset than she is so I was worried 😂

@LRiddles we always have water with us, but will try the snacks as a treat if nothing else haha!

Anyone on c section recovery still having aches on right side?

I'm nearly 3 weeks post surgery and when I walk I still get an ache in the right side

Yeah I do scar was checked yesterday and I was told it's healing well which was reassuring as I was worried as skin around it is still pink but apparently normal healing reaction.

@Perexi are you going to a gynaecologist check up too?

A private one? I have wondered about a women's health/physio check up in a while if I feel like it would be beneficial before returning to exercise properly but I haven't looked into it yet or if the 6 week doctor appointment is enough followed by some post pregnancy Pilates/yoga.