My sons bully's are coming for a sleep over

[Clockwise123]

Hi, I desperately need some advice please.
My son was bullied at school and moved schools because of it last year (year 8, age 13). My girlfriends son, same age, is friends with these boys and wants to have them over for his birthday for a sleep over. I do not want them in our home, but my gf insists her son should not miss out.

My son is due to be at his mums, so won't be here. It still doesn't sit right with me though.

We all live together, and share parental responsibility with our children's other parents.

1. How will my son feel knowing they've been in his home? He will say it's OK if I speak to him about it, but that's the way he is. Never wants to make a fuss, or cause any issues.
2. I'm not sure how I will feel having these children in our home, knowing what they did to my son.
3. I could potentially have an issue with my sons mum if/when she finds out that these boys have been in my our home.

I don't want my step son to miss out. It feels really hard to deal with.

It feels like I'm being made to feel like I'm over reacting. The phrase that I keep being told is "it's not all about your son"

Any thoughts or advice? What would you do?

Was your GF's son one of the bullies?

Time for your GF and her son to move out, I'm surprised your son wants to see you at all in your home.

Over my dead body would I let my DS’s bullies in my house 🤬

Your son needs to know you have his back. Your girlfriend and her son are showing you their disregard for his feelings and personal space, in which he should be able to feel secure.
The home is the one place the bullies can't get you.

Please don't let this happen.

You could always have them over and spit in their food….

Obviously don’t really but you could tell them you did after they had eaten. Just for “banter” of course. Lots of fun banter you could have here….. Banter is so much fun!

Even if you did allow this (which hopefully you won’t) Could you bear to be around them?

The home is the one place the bullies can't get you.

Yes the one safe space and you’re thinking it’s ok to destroy that because your GF says her DS comes before yours? Nah.

Please don't let these bullies into your sons home, this is his safe place. Your step-son can see his friends, poor choice that they are, elsewhere. Your gf really should be supporting you in this.

Absolutely not! His home is his safe space. Bullying has such a negative effect. You need to stand up for your son he will remember this. Whether or not he happens to be home at the time they should not cross the threshold at all. Your girlfriends son can have any other friends over.

Your girlfriend is telling you who she is, believe her.

Good job on the parenting front there. I'm sure your son already enjoys sharing a space with his bullies' friend.

Yes an adult in a position of power misusing their authority. Very mature.

Pretty mild joke considering.

No. That is your son's safe space, don't violate it by sugar coating it as a one time thing because it won't be. If your partner wants her son to have a sleep over so badly have it at their other parents house or grandparents.

Christ, read what you have posted and frankly you need to grow a pair. Tell your GF there is no way in hell those kids are entering in your home and you will end the relationship if she even attempts to persuade you again. Your GF and her son sound vile. Get rid of them and focus on your poor boy.

Could your step son have the sleepover at his father's house instead?

I would put money on you being a bully as a child / teen adult too

I'm so pleased to see a parent taking this stance and all those replies in support. Stand firm op

Your son was physically assaulted by your girlfriend’s sons friends.

Whose house is it?

Why do you think you are a useless father? Is it because you had no role models as a child and simply don’t know how to be a good dad or do you simply care more about sex than you do about your own son?

Dump her. Your son is more important.
Show her this thread and then tell her she isn't who you thought she was and it's over.

This gets worse.

So your girlfriend’s son is at best minimising the bullying. Or he may have joined in.

Why are you forcing your child to live in this household?

He’s clearly a useless father. That poor kid.

I don’t understand why he stays with his girlfriend.

How absolutely awful for his son - not even feeling safe in his own home.

No where does the OP imply that “he thinks he’s a useless father”

He / she is though

Dump your gf - prioritise your son

I would refuse and book a hotel and go somewhere fun so its not blatantly obvious to the bullies that he isnt going because of them.

If the bullying was soo bad he had to move schools then it's insane even to suggest it.