Breastfeeding is making me miserable

[Houndsandbooks]

I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 2 weeks and it is making me miserable. I hate the limiting nature of it. I am unable to go anywhere and only I am responsible for feeding. My partner is fantastic and will give her a bottle of expressed milk at night whilst I try to sleep but all other feeds, burps etc are taking on average over an hour.
as for the promised oxytocin release, I haven’t felt any such thing. If anything my mental state takes a nose dive whenever she is at the breast.
I have spoken to my midwife and she has recommended introducing a formula feed at night but I really want to abandon breastfeeding and solely formula feed. I am also desperate to enjoy this time but the thought of 6 months minimum of this is filling me with dread.
any advice would be greatly appreciated

He recovers more quickly and is less poorly than the other identical baby you had as a control?

10 years ago I could have written this post OP. I put so much pressure on myself to breastfeed my eldest that it made me utterly miserable.

One day about 6 weeks in, it was all too much and (the)DH marched to the shop, bought all the formula equipment and honestly, it was the best decision.

I've had 2 more children over the last decade and I chose to formula feed from day 1. No HCP questioned my decision and it was brilliant.

Go and get the formula!

@Hoppinggreen Massive support for everything you've said from me!

Do whatever you need to to preserve your sanity & well being! You can feed however you like. Good luck to you & congrats xxx

Hi OP. The breastfeeding sent my mental health into spiral, I completely know how you feel! I introduced a dummy at 7 weeks and suddenly realised I was feeding my baby at EVERY GRIZZLE, when I really didn’t need to - a cuddle would’ve worked too! (Although any feed is a form of cuddle too).

So for me, 7 weeks became a turning point when the breastfeeding became better. As other posters have said, 6 weeks is a natural improvement point. If you don’t want to continue doing it, you’ve given such brilliant nourishment to your baby and any method of feeding is perfect from here on in! Good luck.

@Emmamoo89 you obviously feel some huge need to fight the breastfeeding cause here, but what about the OP?
Maybe you're struggling in other areas of your parenting or you'd probably not think twice about being so unhelpful?

😂😂😂 your stupidity is showing again @Emmamoo89 honestly you’re embarrassing yourself

Formula fed both mine (tried breast with the first but back then there wasn’t the same support as now to help you persist with it). Anyway, not here to justify my choices but to say both my DC are very rarely ill, have no allergies or eczema or asthma and are generally very healthy. I could compare them to my friend’s DC who were exclusively breast fed and always seemed to have colds and both have allergies etc. I don’t think the way they were fed is a marker in the cases of either set of children so I’m not sure why you’re so smug. Sorry this is in response to @Emmamoo89

If you’re really unhappy just stop. Your mental health is important. There are millions and millions of perfectly healthy babies who have been formula fed. Who grow up to be perfectly healthy adults. Don’t feel guilty, you need look after yourself too.

Thank you.
I am not advocating one type of feeding over another but it really pisses me off when Mums are judged for the way the choose to (safely) feed their child.
Nobody would dream of coming on a thread where a woman wanted to BF and telling her she shouldn’t do it, so when OP wants support to FF telling her not to and/or extolling the virtues of BF it’s just wrong.
And as for smuggy Mc smug pants they can just do one

As I was crying on the sofa on day 3 post partum with my second child who I was dreading feeding due to bleeding painful nipples, the kindest midwife I have ever come across said to me "You don't need permission to stop doing something that makes you so down, you only get one chance to enjoy this time with your baby so if you don't want to breastfeed then don't. Your baby will be better off on formula with a happy mummy than breastfed by a miserable one"

Absolutely no regrets from me.

@Hoppinggreen you're so wrong about that. Women are routinely judged for breastfeeding.

They're told to not do it public (illegally)

They're told to stop breastfeeding when ever there is an issue

They are told to 'move on' at 6 months

They're told to stop at 1

They're told they're very wrong if they decide to breastfeed past 18 months

They're even told they'll turn their female babies gay (yes I have met a mother who's family told her that)

The formula companies love to tell women they can't breastfeed.

It doesn't always get easier. I fed for 9 months. It never got easier, it was always painful (and no, before I get the comment the latch etc was perfect, I'm just very sensitive) and if I'd had another one I wouldn't have done it.

What benefits? You can’t just say ‘huge benefits’, what? As for the illness isn’t your baby about 9 months old and hasn’t even started nursery yet? Mine wasn’t sick once until she started nursery at over 1, and she was bottle fed for the last 4 months of that.

😂 my DD was exclusively BF until 9 months old and must've got every illness going!

I believe I said that I didn’t judge any woman for her feeding choices.
I have never seen anyone on MN telling a BF woman to FF when she wants advice on her latch etc.
OP wanted to know if it’s ok to stop BF, telling her to try harder is a Dick move frankly

@Twizbe what’s all that got to do with OP?

Nothing. It was a response to another poster that was also about a general comment not the OP

@Hoppinggreen yep and I gave OP information about that.

Just have a look through the threads on here. You'll see quick enough how many times a woman with breastfeeding issues is told to stop.

We don't have opposing views on feeding. We both agree that a woman should feed how she wants.

Fed is best. If you don't like it and it's making you feel bad then stop. I found it great I could run out of the door without thinking of having to make a bottle. I would breastfeed wherever and whenever they needed it. If you don't feel like that then it's no one's business but yours and stop altogether. I found when I stopped breastfeeding if I expressed enough milk off to stop them being engorged it got less and less without pain.

I also had D-MER. Didn't know it existed until I bf my second child. It's outrageous it's not more talked about! Identifying what it was helped so much - I could see it was a sort of artificial state that was automatic and directly linked to feeding - so I realised I wasn't feeling awful about anything "real".

Oh please, for your health - mentally and physically, stop.
I nearly drove myself into the ground trying to breastfeed my second child. You have been absolutely amazing to do this so far. It doesn't work for everyone/every child. Give yourself a break.

Fed is best; and a happy mummy is absolutely essential ❤️

Because no baby should be left hungry or starving while mum faffs about for weeks going to groups and trying this and that. It’s cruel. And dangerous.

Full disclosure.

my first i combo fed.

My second I exclusively breast fed.

The first weeks are hard. With either. But longer term breast feeding is so much easier and less hassle.

I formula fed all three of mine, no regrets here, and the plus is that other people can help you feed etc.
be kind to yourself and do what is right for you. There is no right or wrong x