Breastfeeding is making me miserable

[Houndsandbooks]

I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 2 weeks and it is making me miserable. I hate the limiting nature of it. I am unable to go anywhere and only I am responsible for feeding. My partner is fantastic and will give her a bottle of expressed milk at night whilst I try to sleep but all other feeds, burps etc are taking on average over an hour.
as for the promised oxytocin release, I haven’t felt any such thing. If anything my mental state takes a nose dive whenever she is at the breast.
I have spoken to my midwife and she has recommended introducing a formula feed at night but I really want to abandon breastfeeding and solely formula feed. I am also desperate to enjoy this time but the thought of 6 months minimum of this is filling me with dread.
any advice would be greatly appreciated

Please stop, there is absolutely no guarantee you’ll find it any easier any time soon and what you really really really don’t want is for the baby to start with bottle aversion and then you get trapped being the only one who can feed (like I did, for two fucking years).

I will never EBF again, it’s not the be all and end all and people including HCPs conveniently forget to mention how shit it can be.

Why don’t posters read the opening thread. The OP has said she wants to abandon bf.

That has got to be the poorest reason to continue breastfeeding that I have ever seen.

I would drop the mid morning breastfeed and introduce a bottle of pre-made formula then.
see how you find it.
If you are happy then bring in a formula top
up before bed. In a couple of days change this to formula only.
eventually your breasts will regulate and then you can drop the other feeds. I’d do it over the course of a week to 10 days to avoid pain.

It is down to the op. But benefits aren't very limited at all. There's so many benefits to baby and mother.

And yes - a tommee tippee perfect prep is a lifesaver

Not f it affects her mental health.
BF is a choice and OP no longer wants to do it and luckily we have access to other safe feeding methods

But the OP has said she doesn’t want to bf- it’s making her miserable.

I was miserable to the point I didn't want to feed him because the pain was horrendous. But I didn't give up and so glad I didn't.

Yes. Bloody brilliant machines, especially for the 2am feeds. 😁

your medal is on the way

A happy mum has so many benefits too! When I stopped feeding my son I just straight up switched it. I did have really sore breasts so it might be better for you if you reduce it by a feed a day! My daughter went completely different and I fed her until she was 2. So don't blame yourself, it doesn't always work out. Always make sure there is some milk left in the bottle when he's finished feeding, that's how you know he had enough and didn't want more! There might be more wind but it's not always a massive thing.

I’m well known amongst my friends as being the person who buys a perfect prep as a new baby present

Not if you hate it and it makes you miserable.

One of the reasons she gives is that she doesn’t want the next 6 months to be like the last weeks. It is reasonable to point out that those first two weeks are the hardest point and it will get easier. Lots of posters have encouraged her to switch to formula. It is ok for others ti balance the thread by telling her it will get easier if she decides to continue.

Don’t tell the OP it “will get easier”. There is no certainty of that.

Not for everyone it doesn't

Literally no one has said breast is best. A few people have pointed out that after the first few weeks it gets a lot easier. In many people's experience it is much easier than bottle feeding in the long run.

I'm all about choosing the easiest thing.

Women should absolutely do what is right for them, but they have the right to make an informed decision.

Good luck OP, there's no wrong choice if it's a choice that works for you.

I can't understand women hating it tbf. Even when I was miserable first few weeks i never hated it. Best feeling in the world once it got easier

Ta

Just because you can't imagine hating it @Emmamoo89, it doesn't mean that other women don't. I hated every single second of it and it made me suicidal.

These threads always go the same way. There's literally no need to spend paragraphs trashing BF just because you didn't like it! It does, for the vast majority of women, get much easier after the first few weeks. Formula is NOT an instant 'happy mum' recipe. It depends on WHY bf is so miserable. Some babies sleep worse after formula. Some only settle after a couple of months. @Twizbe is right, there's a better way to stop and it pays to consider things from every angle before making decisions you may later regret. That's not guilting or formula bashing, it's compassion.

OP, the big thing here is to avoid mastitis. That means dropping one BF for FF at a time for a few a days. Get properly prepared so washing and sterilising etc isn't overwhelming, and read up on nappy changes etc so you don't scare yourself. Job done.

I can’t understand people doing a lot of things but it doesn’t mean they are wrong

I wonder if you have D-Mer. This is not talked about and most women have never heard of it.

"Some breastfeeding women feel negative emotions such as sadness, depressed mood, anxiety, irritability or anger just before their milk lets down and starts to flow."
breastfeeding.support/negative-feelings-d-mer-aversion/

This article says it only lasts for a few minutes but for some women that is not true and can last the whole time they are breastfeeding. It rarely gets better.

Everyone's experiences of breastfeeding differ. Some find it very easy, some find it awful. Do what is best for you and your baby. The only medical benefits to the baby of breastfeeding is a slight reduction of tummy upsets. There are zero evidence based benefits beyond that. So do what works for you.

I had D-MER , I didn't even know what it was until after I finished bf my second child (I managed 3.5 months with first and 6 weeks, mostly combi, with second child). I used to get a wave of every emotion all at once, it was euphoria mixed with the most horrific anxiety and everything in between - it was truly hideous. It was transient and it wasn't every time but it was regular and I used to have to put my feet on a bean bag to squish something as it was so full on ... horrible and I'd never bf again (though I'm menopausal so unlikely to get pregnant!)