Breastfeeding is making me miserable

[Houndsandbooks]

I have been breastfeeding my daughter for 2 weeks and it is making me miserable. I hate the limiting nature of it. I am unable to go anywhere and only I am responsible for feeding. My partner is fantastic and will give her a bottle of expressed milk at night whilst I try to sleep but all other feeds, burps etc are taking on average over an hour.
as for the promised oxytocin release, I haven’t felt any such thing. If anything my mental state takes a nose dive whenever she is at the breast.
I have spoken to my midwife and she has recommended introducing a formula feed at night but I really want to abandon breastfeeding and solely formula feed. I am also desperate to enjoy this time but the thought of 6 months minimum of this is filling me with dread.
any advice would be greatly appreciated

If it makes you miserable just stop. Try and find a support group for bottle feeding to give you advice or ask your pharmacie for help. Some babies thrive on whatever formula you give them, with others it's a bit hit&miss to find the right one. So bottle-feeding is not always bliss, especially not in the beginning. If you hold the feedingbottle in the right position and have found the right formula for your baby colics shouldn't be an issue, at least not continually.

@Cuppasoupmonster to quote you, what's that got to do with the OP?

Because I’m saying it’s fine to stop for any reason, and better for the baby in many situations than persevering to the detriment of their weight gain and your MH 🤷🏼‍♀️

I felt like you at the same stage and carried on hating until about 6-8 weeks - but then it just changed and I started to enjoy it. I found it painful and DS kept getting oral thrush which made my nippers really itchy and sore. GP finally sorted it. You don't have to keep going but 2 weeks seems quite soon to stop. Either way it's fine.

@Cuppasoupmonster except weight gain isn't the issue here.

No, it isn’t, OP’s MH is. Which I mentioned.

You know deep down what you want to do - I wouldn’t have let any one force me to formula feed, make your decision alone and go with it! Supported is best! Formula feeding is the norm in his country, you only have to look at the stats to see this, you would be part of the majority not minority when you get out and about.
I would just say make sure you are really really sure you want to stop as it’s hard to get your supply back, possible but harder! Seen lots stop and then regret it, but also lots stop and be happy with their decision. Don’t let anyone else decide for you.

Never ever seen that. I have seen people say if BF isn’t working for you then you can stop while sign posting them to La Leche league or similar
I also know that any thread about FF always contains a minimum of 2 posts telling them not to start doing it or if they have started to just persevere

@niugboo The first weeks are hard. With either. But longer term breast feeding is so much easier and less hassle

see this is simply not true and it’s disingenuous to say it is. I am nearly 7 months into breastfeeding now. I have to combi feed as it’s still very painful and I need a break in between. Another poster said they are the same as me. So it isn’t easier for some people long term and it isn’t less hassle.

Just stop. Remember, EVERY BF mother eventually decides to stop.

Your baby will do fine on formula. What she most needs from you, is for you to be a relaxed, confident mother.

I’m also amazed how so many posters here function when they are apparently incapable of pouring some water and formula in a bottle or unscrewed the lid on some prepay formula and pouring it into a bottle! I would’ve thought it expended the same amount of brain power as unzipping or opening your top and latching a baby on but apparently it’s too difficult for many women.

If you want to give up then do. I didn’t enjoy breastfeeding either but it does have some benefits and I found the first 6 weeks the hardest.

Why think about 6 months? Just think about the next day or next week, take it a day at a time.

@AnotherAnother1 and you can compare both based on what?

It took massive amounts out of me to breastfeed in the first few weeks, so I totally understand how you’re feeling.
it does get much easier and quicker, so think carefully about your choices.

We moved to combi feeding and it worked brilliantly for us on those dark days when I was at my limit. About a month in it got easy and I loved it, we eventually got to 9 months.

I wish you all the luck in the world.

ehhh based on breastfeeding and formula feeding my baby for 7 months @niugboo

It does get easier when they get the hang of it and your supply kicks up a gear. Once they can take on a bigger feed they go longer between and rhe feeds are quicker. They end up being more like a few mins than hours of back to back cluster feeding which is absolutely bleak I agree. It sucks to begin with! (Pun not intended). And hurts. I hated it to begin with. It ended up being nice after a while though. But nobody can or should force you to keep going. If you absolutely hate it, your body your choice, quit! But just be reassured that if you do keep going, it won't be this shit forever (although the difficult bit then is persuading the little one to give it up when they are older!)

Oh and as for colic, I exclusively breastfed until 6 months and kept going long after as the main source of feeding and my girl still had colic! So if you switch to formula and colic arises, don't blame yourself. You may still have had that to deal with anyway, and if so, colief is your friend, trust me!!

Good luck with it all. Xxx

If you don’t want to breast feed then don’t. Baby already takes a bottle, and is so young the transition should be fairly easy. Just pick a brand of formula, follow the instructions and recommendations on the back of the tub. Feed on demand as you would breast feeding at first, and as they get older and take bigger volumes they should fall into a routine.

Please be aware that especially in the early days feeds could still be lengthy even with a bottle as you don’t want the newborn to ‘guzzle’ the milk. They only have tiny tummies so you will want to pace it at first. Otherwise you may get a lot of possetting, reflux and gripey pain.

Also make sure stopping breastfeeding is what you really want as it’s not something you can simply pick up where you left of a week months/weeks later.

I also just want to say that in your post you mention you only want breast feed for 6 months anyway. Even if you power through and do 6 months of breastfeeding while being miserable, you might get to 6 months and be completely ready to stop while baby, now older, louder, and more aware, has other ideas. After six months a breastfed baby knows what they like and they like boobies. They probably won’t give that up easily and you may get a bottle refuser and will be a very tough and difficult transition.

I personally breastfeed. I support breastfeeding mothers. I support formula feeding mothers. I support mothers who do what is best for themselves and their baby out of love. No judgement here. Just support x

@AnotherAnother1 so you literally cannot compare. You have no way of knowing how exclusive breastfeeding at 7 months is because you didn’t do it.

If you hate it and it's making you miserable then wean yourself off it. I will say though, the first few weeks are by far the hardest, baby is feeding more whilst they are just learning to feed, along with the cracked and bleeding nipples as well, it's bloody tough! But it really does get better and becomes so easy, being able to pop baby on the boob when they are hungry over having to make up bottles is so easy. Plus once baby has got the hang of feeding, they learn how to take more in, so the feeds don't last as long each time. If you really can't keep going much longer, you will need to wean off it rather than just stopping, if you just stop you will continue to produce milk and risk becoming engorged or getting mastitis. So combine feed with formula for a while, you might actually find this is better for you and you can breastfeed when you want but also give the bottle when you want as well, having the option is great. I was very lucky my little girl accepted both the boob and bottle from 4 months, she was going through a sleep regression and so topping up with formula helped me. But whatever decision you make, it's got to be the right one for you.

It gets better and once it's better it's easier than formula. Have you made formula? Cooling boiled water for 30 mins at 4am is hard, slapping baby on boob is much easier.

Establishing breastfeeding was one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life. The first 6 weeks were hell. Weeks 6-12 were rubbish. Then suddenly it was fine. I would describe it as a mental block that needs to be overcome - much like breaking in a horse.

You do kind of need to be "broken in" so you can be sucked on constantly without it making you miserable. And the baby needs to improve efficiency/technique and generally mature so they're not at the breast 24/7.

In the meantime, get as much support as you possibly can. Get husband doing bottles (combi-feeding with formula worked for us), family giving you a couple of hours off, online and in-person peer support groups, health visitors, midwife, gp - sometimes just talking helps.

😂😂😂😂 so tell me what exactly is the difference between me giving my baby an individual breast feed and you giving your baby an individual breastfeed? If breastfeeding is painful 7 months in for me how would it be less painful if I did more feeds? Another one lacking in intelligence and critical thinking skills on this thread!

The best piece of advice I was given was don’t quit on a bad day!
it never worked for us in the end and I persevered as long as I could but in the end the formula worked best for me and baby and all round for the family.

Well done for going as long as you have. This truly is the hardest stage, everything feels so relentless and never ending! It gets easier!

I had a terrible time BF. I felt so sad and didn't get the release you are told you would feel.

Turns out I had D-Mer (Dysphoric milk ejection reflex) A brief description below but if you look it up you can get more information. My midwives said I was potentially suffering from PND and I knew I wasn't. Eventually a feeding specialist mentioned this. I have no idea why it isn't discussed as part of issues that may happen after birth!

Abstract. Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER) is an abrupt emotional "drop" that occurs in some women just before milk release and continues for not more than a few minutes. The brief negative feelings range in severity from wistfulness to self-loathing, and appear to have a physiological cause.6 Jun 2011

And the martyr award goes to....

@AnotherAnother1 combi breast feeding is not the same as exclusive breast feeding. You aren’t in a position to compare. Because you haven’t done it.