My child is one of the unpopular kids

[workiskillingme]

As much as it pains me to admit it my 7 year old boy is not popular amongst his peers and he's starting to notice and it's breaking my heart
He has been invited to a couple of parties since they started school three years ago and is never asked for a play date. The teacher has never reported any issues of him being mean to other children , he doesn't smell he's clean and he's a happy chap generally
I just don't understand why nobody wants to be his friend and it's very upsetting

*Does it hit a nerve or something?

No. It is just such a poisonous thing to say of a "friend".

Ignore! Some people just come on here to wind people up and insult them because their own lives are so shit

Do you live in a cliquey area? Ie: parents and kids that have known each other for a long time? (From the baby days etc)

But I really think a hobby will help him out. Something he can join outside of school, like a club. He’ll make friends there and get good at something - that will raise his self esteem.

Here's the honest truth: he's probably neurodiverse/autistic.

Either that or you as a parent are frightening in some way. But if we assume that's not the case then I would put money on your son being autistic.

It's really tough and upsetting. I'm sure that joining some clubs and finding out of school opportunities to meet other kids with similar interests will help.

Sometimes the consideration of additional needs on here is helpful.

Other times it really isn’t. That ^^ isn’t.

Exactly

Why is it not helpful? Knowing that your child is neurodiverse and pursuing a diagnosis and appropriate support is known to be an effective way of understanding them, helping them understand themselves, and reach their potential. It's also protective against the high rates of mental health problems seen in undiagnosed neurodiverse people in teenage years and adulthood

Disapprove? Nope, just stating a basic fact, people with no friends are no skin off my nose, and I don’t disapprove of them (weird term to use)

I am becoming more certain the issue here is your lack of social skills and therefore you’ve not helped your child to develop said skills. If the parents are ignoring you then it’s likely you’re not that friendly yourself.

Maybe see if there is someone who can help you child, as you clearly can’t

Not friendly 😂behave
And no my son isn't autistic not that there's anything at all wrong with that

Thanks all for the advice he's very keen to join clubs so will look into that

How completely awful of you - are you sure you have friends and a social circle?!! OP please ignore these stupid and nasty comments - I’m sure you are a wonderful parent and the best person to help your child is you and just by coming on here and trying to help your child proves that - you are doing an amazing job! Some people are just so spiteful and nasty!

@workiskillingme

Sometimes the class just isn’t a good fit for your child so maybe something to consider. At my sons old school none of the boys liked football or played rugby or anything like that. Plus the class was quite girl heavy too. A change of school was great for him and he was able to find mates he had things in common with.

You need to put down the wine and stick to fizzy water. It’s turning you into a grumpy belligerent old got.

Is he very bright for his age?

www.davidsongifted.org/gifted-blog/tips-for-parents-gifted-childrens-friendships/

GOSH

They definitely are. Both very unpleasant with same style of posting, answering each other’s posts. I wouldn’t want a friend like them.

If the op can’t form friendships then kindly, she isn’t best placed to help her child.

As PP said her son could have additional needs, and with a likely genetic element there might be some issues there for OP too.

Facts are her son is struggling socially, the OP doesn’t seem able or willing to help resolve this in any meaningful way.

My DS has never really found a close friendship group at school until this past term and even then they are older boys who he plays football with at break and now after school.
Most of his close friends have been boys he has met through his football club/academy.
It might be worthwhile finding him a team sport or group activity he enjoys which will allow him to naturally makes friends with children who he shares something in common with.
It will then help him develop confidence socially which will help him longer term at school.

WTF!! The OP has already said she has friends so where on earth are you getting the idea that she struggles socially so must also be ND.

You are a twisted person, coming onto a thread started by a concerned mother and insulting both her and her child. Get back under your bridge.

Get him involved in cubs or similar organisations

The groups of mums probably knew each other a bit beforehand so will go along with what makes life easier for them

I can tell you though OP that most DC will soon very much be choosing their own friends especially at the start of each school year in September

So no matter how much a DM will try and force their DC friendships at this age they will soon want to choose to play with your DS of their own accord

It's no surprise that DMs are very manipulative and protective of their own DC friendships so will exclude your DS deliberately if they think he's getting on with their DS current BFF

My DD and DS changed their BFF every so often and circle of friendships morphed here there and everywhere

Be strong and invite one other DC over at a time or cleverly offer to take another DC off their parents hands for a Friday or Saturday night for a sleepover

No one can resist free childcare.

@Cheesetoastiesz

If the op can’t form friendships then kindly, she isn’t best placed to help her child.

Stop making things up. You're literally lying. 😂

Don't feed the troll cheese toasties everyone