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Original poster

partner does not accept daughter

289 replies

Dom1990 · 16/01/2023 17:35

need some advice my girlfriend who was great with my daughter at first does not want to be around my daughter, her words are i want to be with you does not mean i need to be involved with your daughter.

when i have my daughter ( twice a week ) she used to stay in the bedroom or go out now she's will just watch tv and create an atmosphere.

she does not agree with way i parent and says I baby my daughter acts a bit babyish for her age, may be true i'm
not sure, my daughter has no behavioural issues and i have only received good comments on her behaviour from family and school can not speak any more highly of her.

my parter gets jealous if i sit in my daughters bedroom with her and play and says she always comes first,

there was a time she come out the bedroom and didn't even acknowledge my daughter was here and once she left i questioned her and she said well" she didn't say hello to me either"

when i ask my daughter what she thinks of my daughter she said she likes her she does not notice that she does not enrage with her yet but i'm sure she picks up on the atmosphere.

my daughter is turning 8 soon.

anyone else experience similar situation, my worry is this will get worse not better

OP posts:
BellePeppa · 16/01/2023 20:30

Unless you’re planning on having her as your daughter’s wicked step-mother in the vein of a Disney character, you should dump her she sounds quite horrible.

SoftSheen · 16/01/2023 20:30

Put your daughter first and get rid of this odious woman.

GlassBunion · 16/01/2023 20:32

Your post was so sad to read.
Your gf is on some sort of a 'pick me' power trip.
Let her go.
Put your daughter first. Your daughter knows exactly what your gf is doing but doesn't want to say anything that might upset you.

Goodness knows what nastiness your gf is doing behind your back.

Do the right thing.

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SouperNoodle · 16/01/2023 20:33

Get rid of the bitch and put your daughter first or you'll have to start saving up for your daughter's future therapy

Justcallmebebes · 16/01/2023 20:33

Your poor daughter. Surely it's a no brainer? Can't believe you even have to ask

BeardyButton · 16/01/2023 20:33

Nope! She will only get worse. And your daughter does not deserve this. You owe it to your daughter not to subject her to this.

catmademedoit · 16/01/2023 20:34

Not coming back OP?
First post and all ...

Bookkeys · 16/01/2023 20:35

Why do these women date men with children if they dislike them so much?

They must be completely deluded if they think he's going to drop his own child for them

Rainbowlights · 16/01/2023 20:37

It will get worse, especially if you have a child with her.

Your poor little girl, and I honestly can’t believe you are even asking about this, this should be non negotiable.

Dump your “partner”

Snugglemonkey · 16/01/2023 20:37

AllOfThemWitches · 16/01/2023 19:29

Not everyone's future involves a 'blended' family and living together. How narrow minded. 😆

Show quote history

There is a massive gap between someone who does not want a blended family and someone who sits in a bedroom to avoid a child. Refusing all interaction should only be done if the partner stays in their own place when the child is with the parent, remaining properly desperate from the child's life. How totally fucking rude to just ignore a child present in the same house and how totally inconsiderate of your own child to permit that treatment.

Evasmissingletter · 16/01/2023 20:38

Your home should be a safe place and happy for Your Daughter. Please get rid of your girlfriend and do your job as a parent of protecting her from this jealous bully.

WisteriaLodge · 16/01/2023 20:38

A grown adult who's jealous of a 7 year old child? Christ almighty, put your DD first and get rid, it's got red flags all over it and don't whatever you do leave your DD alone with that woman, I'm kind of baffled that you need to ask?

DarkDarkNight · 16/01/2023 20:38

You’re still with her because? Put your daughter first.

TheRightDecisions · 16/01/2023 20:39

Bookkeys · 16/01/2023 20:35

Why do these women date men with children if they dislike them so much?

They must be completely deluded if they think he's going to drop his own child for them

Men drop their children for the new woman ALL the time. She’s doing it because he’s letting her get away with it and she knows she has every chance of succeeding.

Merryoldgoat · 16/01/2023 20:40

They must be completely deluded if they think he's going to drop his own child for them

You reckon? Men drop their kids all the time for new relationships.

Creditscoredrop · 16/01/2023 20:40

Why do you even need to ask random people on the internet what to do?

Why would you want to be with someone who treats your daughter like this? Children ALWAYS come first and entering a relationship with anyone who is too immature and self centred to understand that is a mistake.

TBH your girlfriend sounds unhinged or are you dating a teenager? Either way the situation sounds fucked up. Please, please, please put your daughter first and end this relationship before she damages your daughter’s self-esteem.

AlwaysAReason · 16/01/2023 20:41

OP, you need to read up on the Cinderella effect. Basically, having a step parent (or parents partner) in the home increases the risk of a child being abused or harmed. By a lot.

Your daughter needs to come first, above anybody else in your life. Your partner can find another partner. Your daughter can not find another parent. She deserves more. Bit nuts you had to ask what to do really.

icanneverthinkofnc · 16/01/2023 20:41

To give you a long-term perspective. DM met a man when I was 4, DBro and I weren't to be part of this set up. He refused to come into the house and rarely interacted with us.
DM went to his DMs house in the evenings.
He wouldn't move in with DM until I was 17. He thought I had left school. I was forced out a year or so later. He has only spoken to me when unavoidable. I have very little relationship with DM. She has no relationship with my DC and has never met her great grandchildren. I'm now 56. He still doesn't want her family in his life.

WisherWood · 16/01/2023 20:43

i want to be with you does not mean i need to be involved with your daughter.

But it does though, doesn't it. My DP made it very clear to me within the first few dates that he would always prioritise his child over me. I told him he should do. She's a dependant and needs him more than I do. Sure, it can be tricky to get the balance right in terms of time as a couple and times as a family, but if you're dating someone with young children, that's just how it is. Unless they're a shit parent, and who wants to date a shit parent?

Vallmo47 · 16/01/2023 20:45

Your daughter comes first. End of story. Get rid of the girlfriend or you might end up losing both anyway.

lunar1 · 16/01/2023 20:46

Why isn't she your ex already?

IcallitVera · 16/01/2023 20:51

Dump her. If you get involved with someone who has children, you accept you will never be first. Children always come first and you are a package deal. If she can't accept your child then she isn't the one for you.

Gronkle · 16/01/2023 20:51

Ditch the Bitch.

Anyone who doesn't like my kids, don't get through the door, never mind a relationship.

rogueone · 16/01/2023 20:52

This is a situation which you can show your DD that you will always put her first. Your girlfriends behaviour is unacceptable especially given she lives with you. I wouldn’t tolerate her attitude and ask her to move out

smileladiesplease · 16/01/2023 20:53

Ffs!!! What sort of a father are you!!!! Ditch the cow she sounds vile. Your dd is a child and your first priority. Yeuk