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Parenting

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Original poster

partner does not accept daughter

289 replies

Dom1990 · 16/01/2023 17:35

need some advice my girlfriend who was great with my daughter at first does not want to be around my daughter, her words are i want to be with you does not mean i need to be involved with your daughter.

when i have my daughter ( twice a week ) she used to stay in the bedroom or go out now she's will just watch tv and create an atmosphere.

she does not agree with way i parent and says I baby my daughter acts a bit babyish for her age, may be true i'm
not sure, my daughter has no behavioural issues and i have only received good comments on her behaviour from family and school can not speak any more highly of her.

my parter gets jealous if i sit in my daughters bedroom with her and play and says she always comes first,

there was a time she come out the bedroom and didn't even acknowledge my daughter was here and once she left i questioned her and she said well" she didn't say hello to me either"

when i ask my daughter what she thinks of my daughter she said she likes her she does not notice that she does not enrage with her yet but i'm sure she picks up on the atmosphere.

my daughter is turning 8 soon.

anyone else experience similar situation, my worry is this will get worse not better

OP posts:

AllOfThemWitches · 19/01/2023 19:48

How many people actually like other peoples children honestly??

And some are unbearably rude, obnoxious creatures worse than others. No way would I live with someone else's kids.

GlassBunion · 19/01/2023 20:20

Child first. Always.

IncompleteSenten · 20/01/2023 06:55

"How many people actually like other peoples children honestly?? And to live with them?"

I don't. Other people's kids annoy the fuck out of me. I have no patience with them at all.

And it is for that reason I would never enter into a serious relationship with someone who had children.

Because that's what you do when you don't have it in you to be a step parent. You don't inflict yourself on a child.

Interested in this thread?

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Families General parenting

onyttig · 20/01/2023 07:49

BigBangSmallBang · 19/01/2023 19:01

OP it’s really bad form to start a bunfight and then not return to the tread.

The cynic in me thinks he just wanted to make sure he the posters or Mumsnet called his GF names after he gave minimal information. People are still calling her a nasty cow etc days later, which was probably the point.

I’ve said it a few times, but I would imagine the other side of this tale looks very different. And she’s certainly better off out of this relationship too. It’s probably her house though (finding a GF who will house him and his child is often a high priority for NR fathers) which means she needs him to leave.

But he’s not coming back to the thread. So it makes no difference.

NotInsignificant · 20/01/2023 16:50

IncompleteSenten · 20/01/2023 06:55

"How many people actually like other peoples children honestly?? And to live with them?"

I don't. Other people's kids annoy the fuck out of me. I have no patience with them at all.

And it is for that reason I would never enter into a serious relationship with someone who had children.

Because that's what you do when you don't have it in you to be a step parent. You don't inflict yourself on a child.

Well done you 🙏🏻 gold star!

IncompleteSenten · 20/01/2023 18:17

Your sarcasm is a ridiculous response to a perfectly rational opinion.

It is nothing more than common sense to know your limitations and not put yourself or a child in a situation if you know in advance you are likely to be unhappy and understand that that unhappiness will also negatively affect the child.

It would be ludicrous to choose to do that to yourself.

If you think that view is sarcasm worthy there is something wrong with you.

CuddlesPleaseTiddles · 20/01/2023 20:26

How many people actually like other peoples children honestly??

No one can answer this but only for themselves (although, do have a look at the adoption board) from experience, for sure I can offer love to an innocent little child, especially given the child is of the man I love. Of course the biological mother etc can complicate things, but loving a child, I can. At the very least I'd be open to building a relationship from the beginning , and would try my best to overcome obstacles, instead of picking an immature competitive fight right at the beginning. I'm not trying a holier than thou here, I really am not, as I know many others who could love a partners child, and do, everyday.

CuddlesPleaseTiddles · 20/01/2023 20:28

To add, I'd equally understand those who know they can't do this and leave. It's those who stay and make everyone's lives a misery I have a problem with.

Original poster

Dom1990 · 20/01/2023 23:50

BigBangSmallBang · 19/01/2023 19:01

OP it’s really bad form to start a bunfight and then not return to the tread.

Hello,

OP here, what more information would people like?

i did not post for people to say nasty things about her just i do not really have anyone to talk about it and wanted advice from anyone who has been in the situation

and for the one who said it's probably her house, it's actually mine.

OP posts:

Original poster

Dom1990 · 20/01/2023 23:54

WisherWood · 18/01/2023 13:32

It seems that @Dom1990 is very much a dump and run kind of guy.

yes usually i think the relationship will affect my daughter negatively I normally run and stop trying with the person or if i think my relationship with be not as good with a certain person i also end it hence why i wanted someone else point of view this time.

i don't want someone to be another for my daughter would like my daughter to feel happy and welcome without a atmosphere is very reasonable to ask for

OP posts:

Original poster

Dom1990 · 21/01/2023 00:06

Swissmountains · 16/01/2023 19:41

I agree this needs to end the relationship is harmful to your child, who is still so young.

thank you all for your comments especially the long detailed ones and the ones speaking from experience, just confirms what i thought and i was not being rash or unreasonable in my thinking.

OP posts:

Soothsayer1 · 21/01/2023 00:26

Hi @Dom1990
good to see you back but c'mon, you did go mia from your own thread☝ people are bound to wonder....
it sounds very uncomfortable tho, I hope you can find a way thru, it sounds like she's not cut out to be any kind of a step parent and she should at least live in her own place?

SammyScrounge · 21/03/2023 00:15

Your gf is jealous of a little girl..Gf will never try and be welcoming to your.daughter because she can't stand the competition. If you think it's bad now, wait till your daughter hits her teens.

Anna8089 · 23/01/2024 19:45

If this was a woman saying this about a man...get rid of your abusive girlfriend. This is disgusting behavior.

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