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Original poster

partner does not accept daughter

289 replies

Dom1990 · 16/01/2023 17:35

need some advice my girlfriend who was great with my daughter at first does not want to be around my daughter, her words are i want to be with you does not mean i need to be involved with your daughter.

when i have my daughter ( twice a week ) she used to stay in the bedroom or go out now she's will just watch tv and create an atmosphere.

she does not agree with way i parent and says I baby my daughter acts a bit babyish for her age, may be true i'm
not sure, my daughter has no behavioural issues and i have only received good comments on her behaviour from family and school can not speak any more highly of her.

my parter gets jealous if i sit in my daughters bedroom with her and play and says she always comes first,

there was a time she come out the bedroom and didn't even acknowledge my daughter was here and once she left i questioned her and she said well" she didn't say hello to me either"

when i ask my daughter what she thinks of my daughter she said she likes her she does not notice that she does not enrage with her yet but i'm sure she picks up on the atmosphere.

my daughter is turning 8 soon.

anyone else experience similar situation, my worry is this will get worse not better

OP posts:
Snugglemonkey · 16/01/2023 19:19

How are you with someone who was not interested in your child from the beginning? That is a clear red light from the beginning. This person is damaging your child. Why are you allowing her to? Chose your child!

bowlingalleyblues · 16/01/2023 19:21

Awful behaviour. This would put me right off my partner.

helloelsie · 16/01/2023 19:21

This relationship won't work OP. Get rid of your partner. They are bad news.

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EyesOnThePies · 16/01/2023 19:22

You are right: it will get worse not better.
And be very damaging for your Dd.

Does your Gf / partner live with you?

If not (I hope!) be clear that this is a casual relationship and stop having your Gf over when you have your Dd.

Snugglemonkey · 16/01/2023 19:23

AllOfThemWitches · 16/01/2023 18:29

Why can't she just see you when you're not with your child?

Where is the future in that?

If someone doesn't want your child, get rid.

Cloverforever · 16/01/2023 19:24

onyttig · 16/01/2023 19:15

I think the other side of this particular story would be illuminating.

If you’re not happy with your partner, OP, you can end the relationship without getting MN (does she use it? Is that your angle here?) to vilify her. Just decide to be single.

Are you trying to justify the girlfriend's behaviour?

AnneShirleysNewDress · 16/01/2023 19:26

If your girlfriend can't accept your daughter then you shouldn't accept your girlfriend. Your daughter must come first and I say this as a stepchild and a stepmother.

worstusernameeverx2 · 16/01/2023 19:28

You should have ALREADY left her

SallyWD · 16/01/2023 19:29

Please leave her. This is very damaging for your daughter. It's not normal.

TheFormidableMrsC · 16/01/2023 19:29

onyttig · 16/01/2023 19:15

I think the other side of this particular story would be illuminating.

If you’re not happy with your partner, OP, you can end the relationship without getting MN (does she use it? Is that your angle here?) to vilify her. Just decide to be single.

You sound like you're trying to justify this

AllOfThemWitches · 16/01/2023 19:29

Snugglemonkey · 16/01/2023 19:23

Where is the future in that?

If someone doesn't want your child, get rid.

Show quote history

Not everyone's future involves a 'blended' family and living together. How narrow minded. 😆

Cherrysoup · 16/01/2023 19:29

This is really shit for your child. Please put her first.

SchoolQuestionnaire · 16/01/2023 19:30

my parter gets jealous if i sit in my daughters bedroom with her and play and says she always comes first,

Your dd is 7 years old, of course she should be prioritised above a grown woman. She literally can’t take care of herself and needs her parents.

Your partner is fucking horrible, don’t kid yourself that your dd hasn’t noticed that she hates her. Put your dd first and get rid of this nasty, spiteful piece of work.

Zanatdy · 16/01/2023 19:30

Not a chance I’d be with someone who treats my child like that. I ended a relationship because of the way my ex partner was treating my child. Your child should always come first, it’s pathetic she’s jealous of a child

Moonyblue · 16/01/2023 19:32

Wow I am not sure what there is to consider. Break up asap !

SlowHorses67 · 16/01/2023 19:33

Your daughter comes first. Girlfriend sounds mean and immature. Dump her!

SRS29 · 16/01/2023 19:34

Judgedbycats · 16/01/2023 17:42

This is horrible and if I'm honest, you shouldn't have to ask what to do.

Your poor little girl.

This...give yourself a shake OP and get rid of the girlfriend

CaptainMyCaptain · 16/01/2023 19:35

Floomobal · 16/01/2023 17:37

I would dump her, because she sounds like a bitch, and your daughter should come first. She’s 7

Absolutely this. No further discussion it won't get better.

2Hot2Handle · 16/01/2023 19:35

Find a new GF. Your DD is and should be your top priority. She shouldn’t have to compete for attention from another girl who clearly has a lot of growing up to do.

viques · 16/01/2023 19:37

I feel sorry for your daughter because of the way your girlfriend is treating her.

I feel even sorrier for your daughter that her parent -who should be putting her first above all others - has to come on to a parenting website the to be told the bleeding obvious.

Forthelast · 16/01/2023 19:39

You need to end the relationship. A child can't be treated like that. Imagine if you had kids with your GF and she treated your DD like this in front of them.

toocold54 · 16/01/2023 19:40

You know this isn’t going to last so why not just end things already?

It’s ok to not want children but you can’t then get into a relationship with someone who has children.

My brother spent years with someone who didn’t want to be involved with his DD.
She was very kind to her (nothing like your gf) but she chose not to have kids for a reason and ultimately they both decided that they needed to separate and he says although they loved each other and got on so well, he wished they’d ended things much sooner as they wasted so much time on something that they knew wouldn’t last.

Swissmountains · 16/01/2023 19:41

I agree this needs to end the relationship is harmful to your child, who is still so young.

Bs0u416d · 16/01/2023 19:41

Floomobal · 16/01/2023 17:37

I would dump her, because she sounds like a bitch, and your daughter should come first. She’s 7

This. In spades.

user1473878824 · 16/01/2023 19:41

My dad had a girlfriend who one day decided I was no longer allowed in the house. I was 8. It has damaged my relationship with him irrevocably. It damaged me irrevocably. If my own father didn’t love me there must be something disgustingly wrong with me. I’m now 34 and thanks to my wonderful mother I know it’s him and not me, but the feeling is still there. He and I only have the bare bones of a relationship now.

Don’t put your daughter through this.