My dad had/has a girlfriend/wife like this.
Before they were together and even knew eachother my sister and i would spend the weekends at our fathers house and he would even come pick us up in the week at times. Then this woman came around and our visitations started dropping, we was no longer staying at his house every weekend, it was every other week and then no week at all!
he would go from seeing us during the week and on weekends to only visiting us on Sunday then every other Sunday. He even took us to spain one year when i was 7 and of course this woman had to come also!
As we got older my older sister started to get fed up of the controlling behaviour this woman would show and how our visits were becoming nonexistent so she stopped seeing him all together (of course our dad said she stopped seeing him as she wanted to be with boyfriends and didnt want to be with her dad anymore 🤨).
I stayed until i was 15 and this woman would dictate every single thing about our visitations! I was NEVER allowed to their house and had not been there since i was like 7.. there was no reason why, just excuses. We ALWAYS had to go out for our visits! He complained about spending money he didnt need to but every time i would ask to go to his house or something else which would be free, i wasnt allowed! Every visit was to go out and get food and if i didnt want food he wouldnt show up! Or we would visit his mum (who absolutely hated me).
why does this have anything to do with the girlfriend? Because EVERY SINGLE VISIT she was there! If i asked for just time with my dad, she wouldnt show up! It didnt matter if we was just going to Pizza Hut or something small… SHE WAS THERE! She didnt like me, and i didnt like her but she refused to give us space.
In the end i cut off all communication with him, i gave him a piece of my mind and told him how i felt about this woman but above all i blamed him because he was the one allowing her to dictate every piece of our relationship and if she didnt want to come, he didnt come. If she didnt like, he didn’t like!
He never acknowledged what he did wrong, never took responsibility for his own actions, always blamed us wanting to be with friends or similar instead of him and above all, we just wanted money from him! I was willing to give him a chance to change things but it became very clear it wouldnt happen!
Im 30 now and i havent seen or spoken to my father since i was 15/16 which was when i got kicked out and needed some help and he didnt help but made sure to go to child support to cut off his money to my mum for me.
This woman wanted kids with him which my dad refused saying he already had 2 kids and didnt want any more.. thing is this woman was not even 10 years older than my older sister, she hadn’t experienced life yet and my dad made her believe he would live that sort of life with her! Obviously hearing he wont have her kids and wanted to just focus on us set her off and created the biggest rift in his relationship with his daughters.
funny part is that they got married and im sure they have kids and of course we were kept on the outside as she wanted!
dont be like my father! Because as much as your daughter may not say anything now, she sees it and feels it but most likely dont let it bother her as she gets her time with you. She is still young and can allow a lot to pass without it meaning much but i promise you, as she gets older if you allow this to continue, she will resent you, you relationship with her will crumble and you may have severed that tie forever. At that stage you better hope the woman your with lasts because she will be all you have left!