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Original poster

partner does not accept daughter

289 replies

Dom1990 · 16/01/2023 17:35

need some advice my girlfriend who was great with my daughter at first does not want to be around my daughter, her words are i want to be with you does not mean i need to be involved with your daughter.

when i have my daughter ( twice a week ) she used to stay in the bedroom or go out now she's will just watch tv and create an atmosphere.

she does not agree with way i parent and says I baby my daughter acts a bit babyish for her age, may be true i'm
not sure, my daughter has no behavioural issues and i have only received good comments on her behaviour from family and school can not speak any more highly of her.

my parter gets jealous if i sit in my daughters bedroom with her and play and says she always comes first,

there was a time she come out the bedroom and didn't even acknowledge my daughter was here and once she left i questioned her and she said well" she didn't say hello to me either"

when i ask my daughter what she thinks of my daughter she said she likes her she does not notice that she does not enrage with her yet but i'm sure she picks up on the atmosphere.

my daughter is turning 8 soon.

anyone else experience similar situation, my worry is this will get worse not better

OP posts:
Doingmybest12 · 16/01/2023 18:26

How is this person your partner in any way?

sassyduck · 16/01/2023 18:26

Your poor daughter. You're with someone who's jealous of a 7 year old?!

Sleepeazie · 16/01/2023 18:26

Leave, your poor daughter. If you and your ‘partner’ have children, this will ramp up and be very hard if not impossible to put right with a new child hurt too. You need to leave today.

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MintJulia · 16/01/2023 18:28

You are a family of a man and child. Your girlfriend does not want to be part of your little family, she wants to drive your daughter away.

You need to tell her clearly and bluntly that your daughter is more important than anything, and then tell her to leave.

AllOfThemWitches · 16/01/2023 18:29

Why can't she just see you when you're not with your child?

Flameshame · 16/01/2023 18:32

I can’t believe you’re staying with this person. They sound nasty as anything and will make your child’s life hell and ruin your relationship with your daughter.

I can’t actually believe you’re asking for advice the answer is so simple

strawberry2017 · 16/01/2023 18:35

She can't be part of your life if she isn't prepared to be part of your daughters too.
It will only get worse especially if you have children together.
This is not a women you should be planning a future with.

FixItUpChappie · 16/01/2023 18:38

Kids need to come first over girlfriends and boyfriends full stop.

JadeSeahorse · 16/01/2023 18:38

Ihatethenewlook · 16/01/2023 17:41

Your partners an abusive shit and a vile excuse for a human being. What has your daughter done to deserve being treated like this in her own home? Why are you accepting this? She’d have been out on her arse the second she showed such nastiness and jealousy towards a small child, purely because she gets a bit of her fathers attention just twice a week. How is this ok?? Your daughter is going to become damaged by this.

This with bells on!

secondaryquandries · 16/01/2023 18:38

If you want a relationship with your daughter once she is an adult, then you need to leave your partner. Creating an atmosphere because your daughter is visiting is not on.

LexMitior · 16/01/2023 18:40

This woman has choices. She does not have to date a man with a child. But if she does, then she needs to step up.

She sounds pathetic. Truly. I'm sure she's totally hot in the sack because toxic people often are, but she's poison to you and your daughter. This was such an upsetting post to read.

IncompleteSenten · 16/01/2023 18:40

I can't believe you even have to ask.

Put your child first.
Don't be in a relationship with someone who will fuck your kid up.

arethereanyleftatall · 16/01/2023 18:41

Goodness gracious that you even need to ask this.
Learn from this.
Next time - put your daughter first from the get go.

The timings are a bit strange though, you're living together so I assume have been together a while - has this only just started happening?

Oneshoetwoshoeredshoeblushoe · 16/01/2023 18:41

Your Daughter should always come first.
Pretty awful that you’ve kept seeing this woman and let her treat your DD in this way.
How long has your daughter had to suffer like this?

BellatrixLestrangesHeatedCurlers · 16/01/2023 18:42

partner vs child should always end in you choosing your child’s happiness and welfare

Choconut · 16/01/2023 18:43

Don't be with anyone who doesn't understand that your daughter comes first.

Duttons1923 · 16/01/2023 18:43

Please end this. My mum prioritised someone who felt this way about me, and now we barely ever talk because I felt unloved my entire life. Please please don’t let your little girl experience the same.

DestinysGrandchild · 16/01/2023 18:43

I wouldn't be with anyone who didn't like or want to be around my kids.

Coolheadedbird · 16/01/2023 18:46

You have a psychopathic narcissistic monster of a partner there. She’s the type that would encourage you to be strict with you daughter. The right kind of utter bitch.

Unpartner before it is too late.

What a right shit to be so cruel to a little girl.

NewFoxOldTricks · 16/01/2023 18:48

Seriously, why are you even asking?? Parent your child, and protect her

CaraVann · 16/01/2023 18:49

My sister in law basically pushed out my husbands nieces and nephews when they were little. They are now in their 30’s and have a shit relationship with their father. If that appeals to you then stay with your girlfriend, if not give her the elbow and put your child first.

MorningMeditation · 16/01/2023 18:51

Why are you letting her anywhere near your child? She sounds awful. Dump her.

MillicentTrilbyHiggins · 16/01/2023 18:52

My. Dc are the children in this situation
Their father 'chose' his now wife. He can't understand why they hardly see him now and have no relationship with them.

BlueSuffragette · 16/01/2023 18:53

You and your young daughter are a team. Your girlfriend needs to understand this. However, she sounds totally jealous and immature. Bin the girlfriend as she's just hard work and harming your daughters emotional development. Your daughter is far more important than a selfish pathetic girlfriend.

Aquamarine1029 · 16/01/2023 18:53

It's absolutely unbelievable that you even have to ask and that you're still with this woman. Your poor daughter.