What funny things have your kids said recently?

[bigbananaflambe]

My 2.5yr old boy said to me the other night:
"I'm going to get a baby. A brother...no, a sister"
I said "where from?"
he said "from Lidl"

oh come on - somebody's kids must have said something cute recently?!

On the way to my local church, St Barbara's, my daughter said "St Barbara's! That's where XX's mummy's from". I had to let her down gently - "Ah, no, that'll be Zimbabwe"!

ah bless! Mine has just started getting into pointing at people on the bus and hiding saying loudly "I don't like that lady/man" - so embarressing.

my friend's kid used to go in to the library, point at the librarian and announce "There's the silly cow".. oh dear, mum's fault I fear...

oooops!

When the vicar left the front of church last week mine asked in her loudest voice 'Mummy, where's God gone?'

My friends little girl, 3yo, Told me this while my friend was on the loo

"My Daddy came and broke mummy's car, and a policeman came and now he's on holiday. In prison."

I think my friend would be horrified to find out what her daughter tells people!!

DH and I were arguing over who got to read the paper first and in the end I walked off in a huff saying "whatever". DD 4 yo said turned to me and said "there's no point having the sulkies, you've got to share". Who's the adult round here?

My daughter regaled her friend at the park last week with the story about how we specially went all the way to Reading so that her aunty could shout at her mummy..

"Eh Batty Boy" at the top of her voice. (Promptly after a friend of mine shouted it at the top of her voice across the pub)

Also after getting out the car on Sunday when it was drizzling she promptly marched from car to door (without me) announcing "bloody rain"

She's 2 btw

DS (3.5) had a stuffy nose, and asked for an 'Olbas Impaler'

He has recently had close involvement with the full religious diversity of his family, and explains his version of how people pray (Muslims make a wild howling sound, as he heard from the Minaret, Hindus mutter a lot, interspersed with loud 'chop chop' sounds - offering the coconuts etc). Discussing this with him, and in the context of Christmas, he said 'yes Mummy, and Christians are the ones that sleep in the hay'

@ olbas impaler blu

Dd aged 2.4 has taken to walking up to our front door, rapping the door knocker and saying "Knock, knock, knocking on heaven's door"!!

Don't ask me where she got it from.

Watching "the X factor" dd(5) -"he's got the sex factor", me - "what is sex factor?" - dd -"it is one of those things you blow through and you are sometimes allowed to take it home".

She also told me her new cousin "looks a bit like baby jesus from the back"

LOUD CACKLE @ "looks like baby jesus from the back" grommit

ahh, bless, in general.
this morning DD, 3, rounded up many of her teddies and dolls and put them into an improvised train. (Po and Pooh were in a shoebox.) she tended to them all busily for a bit and then ran over to me, sighed heavily and said, 'I've got so many children, I don't know what to do with them all.'

Where do I begin??? DS1 (4 and 3 quarters) has recently watched the Star Wars trilogy (we've had the boxed set videos for years and he noticed it had a spaceship on the cover... lethal!) So now he fights the 'revel army' with his 'light saver'.

(BTW after we'd finished laughing, we pointed out that it was the rebel army. So now when we have a packet of Revels (chocs of choice chez wordsmith) he's always asking "Can I eat one of your rebels, Mummy?"

Also, we had to have our cat Poppy put to sleep the other week. Seeing how sad we were, he piped up with "Don't worry mummy and daddy, being dead is quite nice, you get to have a good rest."

From DS (nearly 3) recently:

"Where is [DD's] punani?" (he learnt this lovely turn of phrase from his best friend, a little girl)

and, when I asked him why he'd unravelled and then shredded the toilet roll, he replied: "I had to... because it looked at me in a funny way"!

ds is 2y 4m and comes out with classics all the time

this morning's two were: 'Look at you mummy - no willy' (in front of childminder) and 'eeee ye bugger' when i jammed my coat in car door
hmmm

My dd aged 6 asked me the other day if I bought my new bf on e-bay (she's obviously heard me saying I met him on the internet!)!!

Current one that made me laugh
DD 2.5 saying "I think I need a little sleep. I'm feeling a bit cranky".

'I can't eat my dinner mummy - I haven't got my glasses'- he doesn't have glasses!

my daughter told mother-in-law that mummy was buying her an electric chair and giving her 50p for meter,
other daughter said to windowcleaner "oh your the man nanny hides behind the sofa from when her pennies have run out" darlings!

This was a while ago but I did laugh. Dd was about 4-5 and she said 'you don't have a willy do you mum? And neither do I. But daddy and xxxxx do because they are just boys' So much for penis envy!

Me aged 2 to my mother (loudly) while in the library as a very, very old man walked past - "Mummy, does that man have a penis?"
DD aged 2 in front of friends - "I don't want to sit there Mummy, there's bird shit on it"
Aged 2, dd looked at me in the bath and pointing to my pubes said "Mummy, you've got Daddy hair" (Dp is black and was NOT best pleased by the comparison)
Oh and then dd thought that Winnie the Pooh was singing 'We need a poo' until I spoiled it all by explaining what the real words were. Yes, left her even more confused.
The last one is the most embarrassing tho (can they get more embarrassing? - yes, it can)
Took me a while to work this one out but ds aged 15 months now says "Wine" when he wants a drink
I must be the very worst role model in the whole world.