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Parenting

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Original poster

What funny things have your kids said recently?

81 replies

bigbananaflambe · 02/12/2004 13:21

My 2.5yr old boy said to me the other night:
"I'm going to get a baby. A brother...no, a sister"
I said "where from?"
he said "from Lidl"

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

TwasTheNightBeforeXmasOwl · 05/12/2004 05:12

the winkle question just reminded me. when ds was about four he came into the bathroom to talk to me. he asked where my winkle was and i told him that girls dont have one. he looked puzzled and said "well is it tucked inside?"

sobernoel · 05/12/2004 08:11

I took my dds to the supermarket and they played up the whole time so I was cross with them when we got back into the car. As we drove off I heard my dd1 (4.6) mumble to herself.

"That's all I need, a grumpy old person!"

peskykids · 05/12/2004 11:19

fantastic sobernoel!! lol!

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joashiningstar · 05/12/2004 11:35

DD1 (then 5 - now 24) once walked up to a woman in a wheelchair and asked if her legs had stopped working. The woman said yes they had, to which DD responded "But, your brain still works doesn't it?"

peskykids · 05/12/2004 11:40

I'd say he's very astute! Many adults don't get that Jo!!

joashiningstar · 05/12/2004 11:50

Initially, I was mortified, but the woman in the chair was quite chuffed - said it was the first time anyone had acknowledged the fact that she was a functioning adult. Felt very proud of DD after that one.

Dior · 05/12/2004 19:26

Janeyjinglebops - my ds thinks the same about that song! I keep telling him the real words, but he won't believe me.

Today, ds said, 'I can't see very well, I need more than two eye.' He was walking backwards!

warmmum · 05/12/2004 19:38

Our 4yo has just started school - inevitably very interested in writing and numbers etc.

She was so impressed when dh showed her "stuck together writing".

warmmum · 05/12/2004 19:42

Oh yes - in the lift on the way out of hospital dd says in a nice loud voice "mummy, I've got an itchy bottom".

Yes the lift was crowded and I could hear the sniggering as I replied "perhaps we had better talk about that when we get home".

tiredemma · 05/12/2004 19:46

at a close friends wedding in september, she hired a children entertainer for little ones in a seperate room, dp went to check ds1 (age 40 was ok, the entertainer was doing balloon tricks and dp was stood at the back of the room watching ds ( who didnt know his daddy was watching), anyway the enteratiner blew a long sausage shaped balloon, all the kids were shouting- "bigger- bigger" the ds shouted "thats like my daddys willy!"
dp shouted from back of room " i wish it was!" - it was actually kept on the wedding video, ds1 face when he realises his dad was there was a picture

tiredemma · 05/12/2004 19:47

sorry my ds1 is 4 not 40!

christmasfairy · 05/12/2004 20:11

My 4 year old came home from school the other week and announced her friend was going to be a 'singing leopard' in the school play. (singing shepherd)!

Berchta · 05/12/2004 22:46

when doing a crossword this evening i said "another word for LOVE" 15 yr old said Mum. :)

carolHELSInger · 05/12/2004 22:53

Not me but I must tell you about my colleagues ds (4-I think). They have a dog & have recently got new puppy. They were playing together and growling as they do when ds thought the were fighting. My colleague explained that they were playing as their tails were wagging.
A few days later ds was play fighting with his brother when he must have hurt the brither slightly. he satrted crying and my colleague told ds that he must fight with his brother.
DS immediately pulled his trousers down and wiggling his bottom half said "I'm not fighting Mummy look my tail is wagging"!!

dinny · 05/12/2004 22:56

DD (2.5) is adamant it's Farmer Christmas - gets v upset if I say Father Christmas.

joashiningstar · 05/12/2004 23:20

Grandson refuses to call his mum - mummy, from yesterday has started to greet her with 'Fimbo'.
Her initial response was - "Mummy, not Fimbo, mummy's not like Fimbo is she?" to which GS replies "Fimbo big bum!!!!"

twoforone · 05/12/2004 23:31

Ds out of the blue yesterday (he's 3 btw)....
Daddy has a willy, but Mummy just has hair!!

carolHELSInger · 05/12/2004 23:32

LOL twoforone!!!!

Socci · 05/12/2004 23:58

My cousin's son, when he was about 4 used to say "I want to kiss Marilyn Monroe's butt"

RudolphCAM · 06/12/2004 14:05

I like it when dd (7) phones up Prince Charming on her pretend mobile phone to arrange a date and at other times she phones up her "boss" to talk about "work"!!

TwoIfBySanta · 06/12/2004 22:25

I love all these, some day we can embarrass the bejesus out of our kids with these little gems!

During the summer on the one day of sun we had ds twins (then 2.5) were pottering about the garden. Dst1 was making piles on mud on the patio so I asked what he was making, expecting the usual castles or towers. Instead I got "horsey poop mummy."

Recently whenever I have given dst2 into trouble he starts calling me by my first name in a really patronising voice. They also order each other to go stand in naughty corner and face the wall!

They also call SIL Aunt Hairy (her name is Mary) but that is absolutely nothing to do with me!

TwoIfBySanta · 06/12/2004 22:28

Oh and when they grow up (what is it with old people asking toddlers such questions?) dst1 wants to be a fire engine (this varies as he sometimes wants to be a plane.)

And if he can't be a petrol station then dst2 wants, very badly, to be a dinosaur.

aloha · 06/12/2004 22:38

Ds ( a big boy of three) was trying to tell me about something that happened a while ago, but not when he was a baby so he starts, "Mummy, when I was a medium boy...."
He wanted to do a play (his sister does them for him with puppets and toys) and asked me to find some toys to be the people in his play. I gave him a playmobile woman, and he said, "This is mummy. But this Mummy is very thin" "And what is real mummy?" "Very fat!" I may be pregnant, but suspect he is right anyway.

AimsmumTheRedNoseReindeer · 06/12/2004 22:41

My DD(4) had an operation on her ear last week and as its cold, everytime we've been out I've got her to wear a very cute hat with ear flaps. Today we were waiting in a very big queue while out christmas shopping. The shop was full of pensioners and they were all making a big fuss of her and admiring her hat.
After about 5 minutes she let out a big sigh and announced in a very loud voice - mummy i knew I shouldn't have worn this hat, it makes old people want to come and wibble my cheeks! Can you make them stop now my cheeks have been wibbled enough

yuleicorn · 06/12/2004 22:48

Ds (nearly 3) must have overheard me talking to a pal once about a child we both know, as he kept pointing to his legs and told me that he too has 'special knees' !!

(special needs)

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