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Original poster

Does anyone call a penis a cock?

148 replies

onebatmother · 30/01/2008 22:25

I'm wondering because I've agonized over dd and what to call her bits, but haven't given nearly enough thought to dS.

And I'm thinking that I've always liked the word 'cock'. It's .. well, it's cocky. Proud. A bit jokey. But not aggressive at all - at least I don't think so.

Anyone?

OP posts:
Original poster
onebatmother · 31/01/2008 13:47

lololol BEAVER! SCHLONG! I am going to, I am going to, I can't resist!

OKAY. Weird Batchildhood number two, literally. For some reason, I don't know why, we called poos, 'binnies'. I said, I don't know why.
Aanyways, my first primary school teacher was called Miss Binny. Her first name was Tilly, which just happened to be the word we used for fanny.

How. I. Laughed.

Ahundred there's your answer. It's fanny and willy chez nous. FOR NOW...

OP posts:
Original poster
onebatmother · 31/01/2008 13:53

in the sea of disapproval I missed this from Threadie:
"When I say the word cock it feels in my mouth much like an actual cock does. I just haven't got a word I am happy with for this part of my DH. It is very (very) hard."

It will be quote of the week if we ALL nominate it RIGHT NOW.

OP posts:
lennygrrl · 31/01/2008 13:54

Message withdrawn

Boco · 31/01/2008 13:58

NO! I read that last night and was deeply troubled by its explicitness - I can't help but visualise a fellating threadie - and a Mr Threadie with a very (very) hard wanger. I need it deleted immediately.

Original poster
onebatmother · 31/01/2008 13:59

so that's what wanger means!
I thought it was wanker for ladees.

OP posts:
Original poster
onebatmother · 31/01/2008 14:01

lenny at fast-forward! Nooo!

OP posts:
seeker · 31/01/2008 14:04

You need to know that the person in charge of a certain youth group attended by my ds is called Black Beaver. Oh Baden-Powell, that you should be living at this hour......

lennygrrl · 31/01/2008 14:08

Message withdrawn

Minkus · 31/01/2008 14:42

Possibly the funniest thread ever, please please put it on mumsnet classics someone so I can always find it when I need a proper giggle

(and lenny, I often nibble my sons ear when I am tickling him cos it makes him really laugh- has the added bonus that in the future girls won't be able to do this to him without him thinking of me so I am sort of contributing to him practicing safe sex)

HairyToe · 31/01/2008 15:28

lennygrrl - thanks for that post, first time I've truly laughed out loud on MN.

Still chuckling now...

mosschops30 · 31/01/2008 15:29

i call dh a cock instead of a penis does that count?

princessosyth · 31/01/2008 15:30

. Cock is a 'porn' word. I don't think your ds's friends mums will be impressed if their lo's start copying!

lazarou · 31/01/2008 20:24

What about 'pink pistol'?

Original poster
onebatmother · 31/01/2008 20:42

now you're talking, lazarou

OP posts:
policywonk · 31/01/2008 20:52

I tried to do the Modern Parents thing and call DS1's appendage a penis, but we had the following convo in the bath when he was about 2:

DS1 What's this?

Me: It's your penis.

DS1 : No, it's my willy.

It turned out that DP had got to him first. Oddly, DP does use 'cock', but not when the boys are within hearing distance. But then he was a boarder. I think seeker is right - 'cock' is rather boys-in-the-dorm. Although it is a fun word.

BCLass · 31/01/2008 20:54

Prefer 'dong'.

Can't actually bring myself to say cock. 'twill always be rude as in cock-ring (which you can buy in Tesco these days you know, next to the condoms..! but also that this is the case)

Original poster
onebatmother · 31/01/2008 20:55

Oh good. Fun, but a bit too much, is fine. Porno is scary

OP posts:
Hecate · 31/01/2008 20:55

Nooooooo (oh the humanity!). I've always used the correct terminology. Although I did question it when ds1 came out of school yelling to all the parents that his penis was hurting.

However, for some reason best not gone into, ds2 has named his ..... Wiggly.

mummylin2495 · 31/01/2008 21:22

my friends little twin grandaughters were discussing that they and mummy had a minnie but daddy had a pink stick

KerryMum · 31/01/2008 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 31/01/2008 22:52

dh likes to use cock in sex talk. ds usually calls his a willy, sometimes penis, and at other times weird little boy names that make him giggle with all his mates. I am sure that in time to come he will be using the word cock himself, but I suspect not in my hearing (or at least that's what he will think )

camlivandjj · 31/01/2008 23:02

the only time i use the word cock is when im shouting at dhmy ds1 calls his a doodle and dd calls hers a lou lou .i love to hear what weird names people give their bits

camlivandjj · 31/01/2008 23:02

the only time i use the word cock is when im shouting at dhmy ds1 calls his a doodle and dd calls hers a lou lou .i love to hear what weird names people give their bits

MegSophandEmma · 01/02/2008 09:58

Pmsl @doodle

I use the word Cock when refering to exh, or the sperm doner.

MsHighwater · 02/02/2008 00:26

I had a boyfriend years ago who had an Uncle Willie and Aunt Fanny! It was ages before I could be around them without struggling to keep my face straight. I could NEVER address them by name.

We've kind of landed on "front bot" for by dd though I don't really like it. Just can't come up with a preferable alternative.

I once worked with a girl whose dd's private parts were referred to as her "Nancy Pretty". I swore then that I would NEVER do that to a child of mine.

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