He left our 6 week old baby on the bed with 10 year old daughter

[Vi14]

Hi I might just be being overprotective.
My boyfriend and I have a 6 weeks old baby and live separately. He came to stay at mine with his 10 year old daughter.
I was downstairs and he came down without the baby and said he had left her upstairs with his daughter. I went upstairs he had left the baby on the bed next to his daughter. I brought her downstairs as I didn’t agree with this. Am I being unreasonable to think that the baby shouldn’t be left alone with his daughter? I also have an 8 year old daughter and wouldn’t do this with her either.

I would expect a 10 year old to be fine with a baby, she's not likely to jump around and knock the baby on the floor like a toddler might.

What was your concern? If he was just popping down I wouldn’t think to worry. Id not leave them asleep next to each other though. I’ve a seven year old ds and I’d be happy to leave him next to a baby - he’s old enough to know how to behave and even more so a 10 yr old.

Sorry but yes I think yabu. 10 years old isn't little. A 10yo should be perfectly able to look after a baby on a bed for 10mins.

So should an 8yo actually.

Was he just popping downstairs to gran something? Or did he expect his 10yr old to look after baby for a significant amount of time? If the latter, YANBU. I can't see an issue with a 10yr old keeping an eye on the baby for him if he just nipped away for a quick minute (assuming she's sensible).

I have a 2 children younger than that and I would leave them alone with their baby sibling on the bed. You know your own children and I know mine are sensible and wouldn't have any harm come to baby or be silly.

If there isn't any back story or extra needs, on the spectrum etc I think YABU 😕 she's ten !!!!!!

It depends.
Was he popping down to fetch something and had asked dd to mind the baby for a minute?
Is the dd sensible?

Think you might be a little precious tbh. A sensible 10 year old should be ok to watch their baby sister for a few minutes. It might actually be a few minutes of bonding time.
Obviously if the ten year has issues then this isn't appropriate. All depends on the child I think

Yabu

I don’t know much about his daughter as she’s been out of his life for a year or so. He wasn’t just nipping down he was down stairs for a while and his daughter was on her phone.

total Overreaction

My 6 week old is also extremely small as she was 4 weeks early

YABU unless there's a dripfeed that she's some sort of psychopath.

I left my 6 year old with my 6 week old baby, trickier now that baby is on the move.

At that age babies can't roll and if they needed something would cry to let everyone know. I assume the girl was sat next to baby rather than laying over the baby.

My DD is 9, she'd be absolutely fine overseeing a baby for a short while with another adult in the house.

Of course you’re going to be protective of your early birth newborn.

This is ok though. Congratulations on your little one🎉

I'd be more concerned if your baby was 6m, because of the risk of rolling off the edge.

Try and see it as a good sign his dd likes the baby!
You mention a family unit yeah? Your baby has 2 siblings then. Time together is vital for future relationships and dampens the chance of any jealousy showing you trust her...

YABU and a bit ridiculous

Does he do much with the baby, if you don't live together?

Was the baby asleep?

His dd should have been fine for a short while.

The 10 year old is fine but the father is a bloody useless lump, looks like looking after his child for any more than a few minutes a week is too much for him to manage.

My mum also didn’t agree with. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable or ridiculous in not wanting to leave my tiny baby on the bed with a child I don’t know when I wouldn’t even do that with my own daughter. Maybe I’m being overprotective but as her mother it’s my job to protect her. If she had been put in her crib or Moses basket it would be a different matter. My baby was not asleep she was starting to cry and no dad doesn’t do loads with baby as we don’t live together.

Assuming the 10 year old hasn’t done anything to concern you (for example being rough with the baby) then I think YABU. A ten year old should be able to watch a baby for a few minutes with her dad in the house.

That said, I didn’t let my DD out of my or DH’s sight for a second for the first 12 weeks. It wasn’t rational but I just felt more comfortable that way and if you want to be unreasonable and say the 10 year old can’t be alone with the baby while it is tiny then you go ahead and be unreasonable - just try not to make the 10 year old or father feel bad about not having the same risk assessment that you do.