He left our 6 week old baby on the bed with 10 year old daughter

[Vi14]

Hi I might just be being overprotective.
My boyfriend and I have a 6 weeks old baby and live separately. He came to stay at mine with his 10 year old daughter.
I was downstairs and he came down without the baby and said he had left her upstairs with his daughter. I went upstairs he had left the baby on the bed next to his daughter. I brought her downstairs as I didn’t agree with this. Am I being unreasonable to think that the baby shouldn’t be left alone with his daughter? I also have an 8 year old daughter and wouldn’t do this with her either.

That’s fair enough if you feel like that, but why have you posted to ask us “am I being unreasonable?” If you already don’t think you are?

Yabu @Vi14 but I don’t know why you have bothered to ask on here if you are adamant YANBU.

I don’t think I’m being unreasonable or ridiculous in not wanting to leave my tiny baby on the bed with a child I don’t know

I agree with you @Vi14

I don't know why you have had so many unpleasant responses.

This all sounds like a marvellously healthy set up.

Its not a child you don't know though, its your baby's half sister. I left my newborn on the bed with their 10, 9 and 7 year old siblings at that age.

She asked if she was being unreasonable, then 2 posts later stated she does not think she’s being unreasonable. 🤷🏻‍♀️

My 8yo DD at the time was so incredibly gentle and cautious with newborn DS that absolutely I left her watching him for a few mins while I popped to the toilet - including once on the bed. If you know the nature of the child and are only leaving them for a minute or two alone with their sibling I don’t see the issue.

Your boyfriends daughter is the sibling of your child. I hope you realise this.

I agree with you @Vi14

I don't know why you have had so many unpleasant responses.

The responses aren’t unpleasant, they’re just common sense. Which a lot of MNers seem to lack.

Get off your high horse love

The baby's father left her on a bed with a child that he does know, he own 10yr old daughter. Why does OP get the only say?

I doubt very much it's due to her mum, stop being gullible OP.

"AIBU" says OP
"Yes, you're being unreasonable" says everyone else.
"NO I AM NOT" says OP.

sheesh.

Sounds fine to me unless the 10yo has a history of being very impulsive and irresponsible.

Why are you asking for opinions then when you don’t like like those opinions you are arguing?
almost everyone thinks you are being unreasonable..

I'd leave my 10 year old without a single worry, definitely wouldn't leave my 6 year old. Not sure about 8? Would depend on maturity.

When I was 10 I was looking after my newborn sister because my mum had to go back to work. I was doing it in shifts with my 9 year old sister because we had school at different times. There was also 7 year old and 5 year old children at home at the same time.
I am sure 50-100 years ago it was acceptable in this country to leave a 10 year old to look after a baby.
Not sure what is wrong with modern 10 year old children people are afraid to leave babies with them for a few minutes.

No I don’t think YABU, your baby is so young and helpless and you are ultra protective. Maybe the 10 yr old was capable of looking out for the baby but your mothering instincts kicked in. Agree some ground rules with your partner about this so you both know what’s ok

I think leaving a 10 year old with a baby in general in fine. If she'd been sat holding the baby on the bed or perhaps.

It seems in this case more that dad just left the baby and daughter didn't really appear to know it was her responsibility to keep an eye on it, make sure it didn't roll off.

If this is a king size bed with baby in middle probably pretty reasonable anyway. On a small bed not so much.

Basically we all have a different picture of this in our minds and if you felt it unsafe, you probably had reason to.

This.

Either she trusts the father's judgment or her relationship with the father is untenable.

He should be able to make a judgment call, and if he can't there is a major issue in their relationship, which is coming from the OP because she clearly thinks he is incapable/wrong in his decision making and only she can do this.

It is not a random child. Its a 10 year old, who is trusted by the baby's father.

The fact the mother doesn't really know this 10 year old is irrelevant. And if anything perhaps she needs to be making more of an effort to get to know this 10 year old.

Yabu I leave my son (8) and 5 months together on the bed etc without a second thought, it’s actually lovely and allows them to bond.

I’m sensing a backstory.

If you don’t feel it was okay, trust your gut.

You might be over reacting, or you might be reacting to other subtle things that aren’t as obvious. It certainly doesn’t sound like a completely straightforward situation from your updates.

A10 year old is more than capable of sitting next to their baby sister. They are also useful as they have the brains to get an adult if something appears wrong.

You are overreacting. It is understandable if this is your first, but you need to try and calm down. You also can’t try to control what he does with his own child, because all that will happen is you push him away and wreck either tour relationship with him, or his with the baby. He didn’t do anything wrong.

The child is equally his than yours. He deemed it safe to leave the baby for a very short while on the bed next to a ten year old.

If you dont think he's responsible/ save why did you have a baby with him.

YABU - dont know why you posted tbh if you're disagreeing with everyone anyway.

@Vi14 i wouldn’t take these comments to heart. I commented on someone’s post a while back and mentioned me and my partner don’t live together and we share children and everyone started saying why do women have such low standards and have kids with these kind of men that try dodge responsibility blah blah. He’s a fantastic dad and still very hands on. He would move in in a heart beat but it’s my choice not to. It works for our relationship. I don’t see it as being any different to couples who choose to sleep in different rooms due to snoring, early work starts etc

😂