Can he take me to court for this?

[CZP22]

I co parent with my daughters dad and everything has been fine. No rows, drama etc and we co parent well.
I have decided to move back to my home town and spoke to him regarding either sharing travel or meeting half way at weekends to maintain them having contact. He's had her overnight every weekend since birth.
This was his response
"When jake was little his mum took him away and I've missed out on so much, taking him to school etc. And for 8 years she has refused to do any of the travelling even though it's the moving parent that has to maintain contact, because she knows I weren't able to afford to take her to court. So I had no choice if I wanted to see him, I have to do 4hr round trip on a Fri and a Sunday costing me over £120 just to see him.
So if you think I'm gonna do the same with Zoe, after me telling you I'm i was in no position to have another child and couldn't afford another child when you got pregnant and you basically told me I had no choice, then you're mistaken. If you want to take her away then it's you who has to maintain contact. And a court will agree with me and luckily I'll be able to afford it this time."

Can he take me to court for this? How do I approach this amicably?
It's annoying he uses the premise that I got pregnant on purpose but I understand he feels upset

Or another way of putting it. She has a history of raising a child long-term within an abusive relationship and is now displaying one of the biggest red flags in the abusive relationship book by moving in with her boyfriend of 4 months, along with her children.

Fixed it for you

If you move within England and Wales, the court is not going to order you to move back to where you started. You can move anywhere you want within these regions. Before court you need to go to mediation unless there is proof of abuse, or the mediator says that it's not appropriate or working. You will need a letter from the mediator. Your ex can apply for mediation and you may have to pay for it. If he doesnt want to pay then it may not get as far as court. If it goes to court you each will set out what it is you want. You are very reasonable saying you will meet half way. A judge could say it's up to him to travel as he wants to see his child. If he brings up anything to do with his ex, the judge is very likely to tell him not to talk about that as its not relevant. The judge would probably ask how he intends to organse his contact with the other child in relation to your child. If he takes you to court he has to prove he can care for the child. Court is a very long process so you could move and not actually get to court for several months or even a year. Also bear in mind that your ex will have to apply tot the courts where you, the resident parent lives so he will have to travel to that court for the hearings. If your ex can prove that the area in which you live now is beneficial for your child he can ask to be the resident parent. He will then have to prove that he spends most of the time with the child or can spend most of the time with the child and offer the best home. Is he likely to do that?

@Cyw2018

Nope. She left the abusive relationship and protected herself and child's home life but recognised the difference between her relationship with her ex and his relationship with his son.

Staying close by to facilitate and to avoid overnight

The ex ended that with his own behaviours for which he was arrested.

She has quickly recognised the abusive attitudes of her dd father (rage texts, blaming her for his ex's behaviours, no mention of baby's welfare simply his own priorities) and nipped that in the bud.

Shows she has learned and grown. Well done OP by the way But nevertheless has recognised the good points of his parenting & has no desire to remove contact.

Having been previously in an abusive relationship she has wisely and sensibly taken 14 years to consummate her relationship with her partner, a senior military officer and she recognises the need for wider familial support and contact for her children whilst offering to facilitate contact with her baby daughter father both practically and financially and is willing to compromise.

Fixed it for you.

beachcitygirl I know you're rewriting the OP's story and trying to make it seem okay because you did the same thing, moving a vulnerable 12yo girl in with your new man after a long abusive relationship. But it isn't okay.

@ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave you've lost it.

My own life bears no resemblance to Op's and I did no such thjng.

I just think moving 1.5 hrs away and offering compromises and 50/50 transport is no big deal.

Oh and @ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave if you've done a deep dive & came up with the fact that me & my daughter lived with my partner of (at that point a year ) for 8 weeks instead of being in a homeless shelter & are comparing & suggesting I put my dd at risk then I'm afraid

Ps I still don't live with him 4 years on.

You're batshit. 👍🏻 hope that helps .

If you move within England and Wales, the court is not going to order you to move back to where you started. You can move anywhere you want within these regions.

This is wrong and dangerous advice from @ironingboredrefusal - as I’ve said many times in this thread, I’ve seen it happen on a number of occasions even when it’s not a hugely long distance move, if the court determines it’ll have a significant impact on the child’s parental relationships.

If you have a fling and your partner ends up pregnant, they are in no way obliged to live close to you for the next 18 years.

@AssumingDirectControl if you're not a family law solicitor. Well you're the same as the rest of us. And you know what they say about opinions....

I’m a Cafcass social worker, so I’m involved in these cases daily with my work. it’s not an opinion, it’s a fact that I’ve seen these decisions be made a number of times.

Carcrash/sorry Cafcass. God says it all... brave of you to admit you work for that shit show.

But they might have to ensure that the child does.

You are completely rewriting history based on very limited evidence. OP has said he's a very good dad. Stop trying to change that. Just accept that sometimes men are great dads?

Is that the OP you refer to or the child's father?

Those saying she's not taking the child too far away from her father, if the RAF partner gets posted overseas, not sure if they still do that, would she go, taking the child even further away?

Yeah he sounds like a terrible father, wanting to see his daughter.

I'm in discussion with STBEXH about moving away with our children I also have taken legal advice

My solicitor warned me that they just recently had a case where a father took the mother to court to prevent her moving back to her family and he won. Even though she had no ties/family/friends to the area etc so not to be so naive as to think that a court wouldn't effectively trap a mother somewhere she didn't want to live - they absolutely will if they thought it was in the best it west of the child

Incidentally this was a move of around 100 miles and probably 90 mins travel time

4 months 😂😂 Ive got tins in my cupboard older than this relationship 🤣

Youuvuvu

@AssumingDirectControl yes, if the father takes her to court, which would involve him engaging with a mediation process and then issuing court proceedings. He hasn't done this yet so she's currently free to move where she wants to.

If she moves, he could issue emergency proceedings which may result in an immediate order to return, and really does start things off with the court on a poor footing. It’s really not the same as being “free to move where she wants”.

To answer your question, yes, he can take you to court, the decision is then in the hands of the judge who will look at what's best for the child. There is a big possibility you could be requested to do all the travelling to ensure your child still has a relationship with his df.

As he has already told her of his intention to take her to court, she would be foolish to move now without sorting this out first. If she moves now, the judge might see it as her showing she had no intention of sorting this amicably.

There is a lot of dad bashing here so I just want to say again, I don't have a bad word to say about him. Yes he may only have her on a Saturday night but that's the only time he can have her due to work.

I've read and taken in things that have been said (I'm open to unbiased opinions from people outside the situation looking in just not to abuse and personal attacks)

I will absolutely ensure a relationship is kept between the 2 of them.

There's a lot of people also saying I'm selfish and I have to stay for him because he already drives to see his son...this is something that yes I get won't be great but also, I think it's sad that I'm expected to stay here alone to facilitate that. My sons abusive father has moved really close to us so I've heard, and I do not want the risk of either of us bumping in to him. And yes, I do want to live with my partner, ny family and friends are near to him too so I want to go home and be with them. I don't think that makes me a selfish person at all.

If it's ordered that I have to do the travelling, so be it.

I disagree. Being able to move where you want unless someone issues emergency proceedings and a court rules in their favour is about as free as it gets. Emergency orders are made where there is a significant risk of harm to the child. This is not that. Fortunately, most lay judges are reasonable people and are not looking to put significant restrictions on people's lives if they can be avoided.

No, emergency orders are regularly made when a parent unilaterally moves the child away from normal place of residence, including within the UK, and often when the parent who has not moved is not at the hearing.