Can he take me to court for this?

[CZP22]

I co parent with my daughters dad and everything has been fine. No rows, drama etc and we co parent well.
I have decided to move back to my home town and spoke to him regarding either sharing travel or meeting half way at weekends to maintain them having contact. He's had her overnight every weekend since birth.
This was his response
"When jake was little his mum took him away and I've missed out on so much, taking him to school etc. And for 8 years she has refused to do any of the travelling even though it's the moving parent that has to maintain contact, because she knows I weren't able to afford to take her to court. So I had no choice if I wanted to see him, I have to do 4hr round trip on a Fri and a Sunday costing me over £120 just to see him.
So if you think I'm gonna do the same with Zoe, after me telling you I'm i was in no position to have another child and couldn't afford another child when you got pregnant and you basically told me I had no choice, then you're mistaken. If you want to take her away then it's you who has to maintain contact. And a court will agree with me and luckily I'll be able to afford it this time."

Can he take me to court for this? How do I approach this amicably?
It's annoying he uses the premise that I got pregnant on purpose but I understand he feels upset

I've recently been to court for similar and no they didn't expect me to go all the way, but half way was accepted.

This is also something the courts would take into account. Is there a standing court order with the other child? It is really relevant as to whether him doing the journey at all is even feasible without impacting on this.

@Autumndays123 unless you're a family law practitioner

Bog off frightening & judging someone who wants to move HOME

A court will have NO a problem with her having a new partner shes known a long time who has a respectable career & is a part of her home town community. They will care about her having a plan, financially & with travel to do her bit of ensuring contact.

You keep missing that, a lot of responders do. She's moving HOME
To her family & friends AND partner.

And He's not a good father if he can't see the benefits to his child having a happy mum.

If he wants more contact let him go for 50/50 contact
Oh that's right he won't.

It is also important for her baby to have contact with her extended family.
It's less than 2 hours away.

OP please don't listen to these people.

I'm just realistic. Do some research. You can quite clearly see that court orders can be put in place to black the child's move. It's something that is done regularly.

Block*

@CZP22 I think you have had an absolutely unfair pile. There seems to be a real lack of understanding of how family courts should work. The court will want to look at what is in your child's best interests. If you take her to facilitate contact and it's 2 trains and 2 buses in all weathers that takes 3 hours v's her doing a 1 hour 20 min drive in a warm dry vehicle, that may be what the court orders. One parent choosing to move away may be a factor in the decision making but it is not the only factor. Would her father want her ragged about on public transport in all weathers to prove a point? It sounds tricky with him having a child with another mother elsewhere and he needs to sit down and look at the logistics for BOTH his children. You need to consider logistics for one.
You should have the opportunity for personal happiness and if your son is happy with the move and you are moving your daughter into a safe, warm, loving situation that is in their best interests by all means go for it. My worry is you are moving into your partners home and are vulnerable should the relationship end or he gets posted on a long term basis elsewhere. I hope you have got all bases covered on that front. Having family and friends support is worth an awful lot. Even if you stayed near where her father lives he isn't looking to see her more than if you stayed so the benefits to the family unit by moving should outweigh this current issue about who does the travelling.
I'd like to say it settles down to an amicable compromise but in many cases it doesn't.
I think you are trying hard to maintain your daughters relationship with her dad and as a PP said you don't have to sacrifice yourself on the Alter of Motherhood until she's 18.

Well it sure sounds like it, and you may well find yourself having to convince a judge that this isn't the case.

There's another potential outcome he could petition the court for, for custody. Also in the raf you move where you are posted

You can't drive so just move and if he wants to see his child he can travel, he'll probably lose interest anyway and then you won't have to worry

Bloody hell @Cyw2018 that's a bit out of order! You know the dad has fathered another child prior to this one yes? With a different woman? God the dick pandering on here is off the scale!

Op, I know you don't want to ask, but maybe a loan to get you driving would be good and if your partner is as lovely as he sounds he'd surely want to help facilitate the best outcome?

I moved an hour away with my dc and dropped them to him every other weekend - honestly learning to drive is your best option if you can make that happen somehow this will stop being a problem.

You're moving two kids, including a 8 month old baby in with someone you've been dating presumably less than 8 months? Forget the fact you've known him 14 years. Add to that he's in the military. Are you moving to military accommodation? Will he require to move regularly?

All those arguing about the dad being a 'weekend dad' with a child that young I'm sure OP has taken the view that most time should be spent with her, especially if breast feeding, up to this point. Different story altogether if the child was older and dad wasn't making much effort. The fact he's only been getting Saturday night into Sunday, moving 100 mins away is going to impact on his time with her, especially as he had another child. And if you can't drive yourself, is your new man really going to be happy ferrying you about every weekend for contact?

You would need to show the court that moving was in your daughter's best interests, not yours.

Also, your reason of wanting to be closer to family and friends doesn't really look legit when you're actually planning to move in with a new boyfriend. It looks more like you want to move because you want to live with the new guy who just happens to live near your family and friends.

But you admit the being in love part has been going on for no more than 8 months...?

Could you arrange it so that he gets the same time with DD as he does now? for instance if he picks her up on Saturday 10 am drops her off Sunday 7 pm, could you take DD to his place at those same times?

Your poor child

This will be a hell of a lot of time in a car every weekend for an 8 month old.

OP, surely it would be better for you to move half way?

What if a judge says you must provide all of the transport?

Surely it'd be more sensible to wait until you've passed your driving test?

I have read your posts. Don't move your kids in with him.

I agree with this 100%

All a court will want to see is that you've been reasonable, which it sounds like you have. Before a court application, mediation would be required and the judges would encourage you to come to an agreement together at every stage before making any orders.
You don't deserve the bashing you've had on this thread. It's perfectly understandable that you'd choose to relocate under the circumstances. I'd do the same.

Well said @smartwatercrumpet

OP mute notifications from this thread. You're getting an undeserved horrific time here - the misogyny is horrific, the judgmental attitudes etc.

ALL a court would want to see is commitment & effort to making it work. Which you are doing. You're moving an hour & a half away to your HOME town where you have support given that your baby's dad is a one day a week father.

The hyperbole is ridiculous.

Also OP it seems you're getting it in the neck because of the behaviour of his ex. Hopefully you can convince him you're not the same person.
Starting driving lessons would go a long way.

I only asked a question lol tbh, I'm a bit taken aback by it all. I thought Mumsnet was a parenting forum but all I've had is mostly abuse from people assuming the kind of person I am and my situation, and only a few answers. I'm a bit overwhelmed by it tbh but I don't know how to delete the thread or turn off commenting.

How are you going to meet him halfway when you don’t drive?

Public transport or my partner

Go into your account, settings, other settings then notifications. Or go into 'i'm on' then remove thread. Not sure how you get a thread deleted but it'll be somewhere in the settings