SilverLiningPlaybook that is unvelievably horrible.
It is so screwed up to treat other people this way- but to tear down our daughters is unbelievably cruel.
But it seems our mothers are oblivious to the damage we cause,and if we try to object or complain, the conversation quickly turns into an attack, or a boast, or a put down.
So in the end we just don't bother.
No one has had a better marriage than my mother, no one has had a more interesting life or ever travelled or has a funny story worth telling.
And if we start telling our story about being chased by a giant tortoise or swimming with wild turtles or how I felt seeing a forest of giant Redwood trees we are quickly moved to her few travels.
So in the end I just don't try.
Because she simply is not interested. In fact I can see the shutters come down.
She has zero interest in my life, knows that I am a cruel monster, nothing I can never say is valid or worthwhile.
I did try for decades to cutivate our relationship, but my efforts were ignored or ridiculed.
My mother has no concept of who I am- in her eyes she already knows, and doesn't like what she sees.
I can see myself reflected in my mother's eyes, she treats me like a violent monster. She thinks I am hot headed, vulgar, too outspoken, evil, self indulgent, selfish, brutal, distrustful.
Grey rock does work, it is hard not to react sometimes, and I often have to bite my tongue.
I let her live in her fantasy world.