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Original poster

Leaving 5 month old with grandparents for 4 nights

140 replies

haych5 · 16/09/2022 22:25

My DH’s mum and dad live 7 hours away so have only met our DS once when he was a couple of weeks old. They have offered to take care of our DS for four nights as they are having a break two hours away so we can go away and they get the opportunity to spend quality time with DS which is really lovely of them. I do trust them and they are fantastic with their other grandkids.

my DH jumped at the chance as we don’t have any other help, and booked a holiday to Europe for us.

I was initially excited about it and the idea of quality time with DH but now it’s coming up very soon I’m now very very anxious about leaving him and feeling a bit sick about it. He’s only met them once. We are spending the day with his parents before we go but then we are leaving DS with them at a hotel they’re staying at.

my worries are
he’s only met them once
he will be staying somewhere he doesn’t know
I won’t be there to calm him if he gets upset, he’s quite a fussy baby.

will he think we’ve abandoned him? My DH thinks I’m being ridiculous but I can’t stop worrying now.

what can I do to make sure he’s going to be okay? Or should I cancel - which risks pissing off DH and his parents.

OP posts:
Quartz2208 · 16/09/2022 22:28

Personally I would cancel 4 nights in a hotel with a 5 month old baby is tough if it’s yours let alone one you have met once

its too much can’t you stay a couple of nights at the same hotel and let them do it and be on hand build up slowly?

I don’t think you will enjoy it

beccahamlet · 16/09/2022 22:30

I think it's pretty ambitious.

summergone · 16/09/2022 22:31

Well it's booked now so might as well go , baby could cry all night and they could get no sleep but they have offered and they must know that's a possibility. But your baby will be loved and cared for and you can have precious time with your DH . So yep - go

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KurtCobainsColourfulCarpet · 16/09/2022 22:31

No, that's not nice. Small babies need their mothers. They don't need to be palmed off onto virtual strangers for the best part of a week.

JessesMum777888 · 16/09/2022 22:31

Go and enjoy it, my youngest is 11 and I’ve never had 4 days away and that’s not by choice !! Have fun xx

MolliciousIntent · 16/09/2022 22:32

I don't think this is a good idea. 4 nights at that age is a really long time. I especially wouldn't want to leave my baby with strange people in a strange place, can't they look after him at your home? If I were you I'd cancel the trip to Europe and do one night, maybe two, closer to home.

drpet49 · 16/09/2022 22:32

KurtCobainsColourfulCarpet · 16/09/2022 22:31

No, that's not nice. Small babies need their mothers. They don't need to be palmed off onto virtual strangers for the best part of a week.

I have to agree with this. Your tiny baby has only met them once!

britneyisfree · 16/09/2022 22:33

KurtCobainsColourfulCarpet · 16/09/2022 22:31

No, that's not nice. Small babies need their mothers. They don't need to be palmed off onto virtual strangers for the best part of a week.

This.

21secondstogo · 16/09/2022 22:33

I think that’s a bit much and they must be mad.

Stichintime · 16/09/2022 22:34

I was pretty relaxed about leaving my children but there's no way I would leave a baby aged 5 months that long and leave the country! I think you will miss them too much and the distance won't help.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/09/2022 22:34

They are total strangers to your son. The once he met them - it's hardly going to be etched in his memory, is it? Total strangers.

LizzieSiddal · 16/09/2022 22:34

Leaving my 5 month old in a completely new environment with people he doesn’t know for 4 days is not something I would even contemplate.

Quartz2208 · 16/09/2022 22:35

summergone · 16/09/2022 22:31

Well it's booked now so might as well go , baby could cry all night and they could get no sleep but they have offered and they must know that's a possibility. But your baby will be loved and cared for and you can have precious time with your DH . So yep - go

But in a hotel how is that fair to anyone. He isn’t even in his own familiar space

the whole thing is insane and not putting the needs of the baby into consideration at all

Original poster
haych5 · 16/09/2022 22:36

I don’t think I can do this, I honestly feel so sick but DH is so excited to have a break and I don’t want to offend his parents. I’m torn because I would love the break, my husband and I need this time together also - but I’m going to miss my baby too much and I just don’t feel comfortable anymore about it.

OP posts:
MrsJaneyLloydFoxe · 16/09/2022 22:36

Four nights is too long for a baby that small, in my opinion. Equally the unfamiliar environment of a hotel.

also - how is his sleep? Mine were terrible sleepers at that age and I wouldn’t have felt able to let someone else get up throughout the night (every few hours) for a feeds/shushing/rocking etc

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 16/09/2022 22:36

I think that’s a lot of nights to leave such a young baby honestly

AdriannaP · 16/09/2022 22:37

Is this for real? You are thinking of flying abroad and leaving him with literal strangers (for him) in a strange place? Your poor poor baby. What are you thinking?

Charcy · 16/09/2022 22:38

Yeh no
I wouldn't leave my baby for that long in my own home with people she knows.
Never mind in a hotel setting, unfamiliar surroundings and total strangers. As lovely as they may be.
Kudos to the grandparents for offering but it would be a solid no from me at the moment. Good luck explaining it to them if you back out though 🤦‍♀️

21secondstogo · 16/09/2022 22:38

They don’t even know him. How do you know how they will care for him?

MiniDinosaur · 16/09/2022 22:39

No, far too young, babies that age newd a swcure attachment to one primary carer (you). Scientific fact, not an opinion.

mynameiscalypso · 16/09/2022 22:39

Stichintime · 16/09/2022 22:34

I was pretty relaxed about leaving my children but there's no way I would leave a baby aged 5 months that long and leave the country! I think you will miss them too much and the distance won't help.

This. I am also relatively relaxed about leaving my son but I couldn't have contemplated leaving him for four days with strangers (at that age or any age). That said, I also think that babies are generally quite flexible and so long as there's a steady supply of cuddles, milk and clean nappies, they'll be fine. It would be me that I'd worry about more!

SNWannabe · 16/09/2022 22:39

Oh why would anyone think that was a good idea? Four nights away from a small baby is ambitious, but with a loved one and a trusted caregiver who knows your baby and more importantly that your baby knows- meh, each to their own.
But this? Sorry but this is actually harmful for the poor wee soul. You need to cancel!!!

Charcy · 16/09/2022 22:40

SNWannabe · 16/09/2022 22:39

Oh why would anyone think that was a good idea? Four nights away from a small baby is ambitious, but with a loved one and a trusted caregiver who knows your baby and more importantly that your baby knows- meh, each to their own.
But this? Sorry but this is actually harmful for the poor wee soul. You need to cancel!!!

Definitely

AdriannaP · 16/09/2022 22:41

Exactly what @MiniDinosaur said. Please OP your baby’s needs are most important here NOT your PIL’s feelings. Can’t you go on holidays when he is a bit older?
how would PILs even adequately care for him in a Hotel room? How quickly would you be able to return in an emergency? Please don’t do it.

RomeoMcFlourish · 16/09/2022 22:42

I would never do this. Absolute madness. Your baby needs you.