Leaving 5 month old with grandparents for 4 nights

[haych5]

My DH’s mum and dad live 7 hours away so have only met our DS once when he was a couple of weeks old. They have offered to take care of our DS for four nights as they are having a break two hours away so we can go away and they get the opportunity to spend quality time with DS which is really lovely of them. I do trust them and they are fantastic with their other grandkids.

my DH jumped at the chance as we don’t have any other help, and booked a holiday to Europe for us.

I was initially excited about it and the idea of quality time with DH but now it’s coming up very soon I’m now very very anxious about leaving him and feeling a bit sick about it. He’s only met them once. We are spending the day with his parents before we go but then we are leaving DS with them at a hotel they’re staying at.

my worries are
he’s only met them once
he will be staying somewhere he doesn’t know
I won’t be there to calm him if he gets upset, he’s quite a fussy baby.

will he think we’ve abandoned him? My DH thinks I’m being ridiculous but I can’t stop worrying now.

what can I do to make sure he’s going to be okay? Or should I cancel - which risks pissing off DH and his parents.

Looking at it from the other side too, I'm sure you've done the right thing. I've been in a hotel with a baby that wouldn't stop crying all night and it was horrendous. And that was one of my own!

How would that work, wouldn't the baby need a passport?

Your husband has shown that he’s a prick. So don’t take his lead on decisions about what is right for your child going forward!

...you can get passports for babies

Depends when the trip is, there's a pretty long wait for passports at the moment (in the UK that is...).

Well I’m currently away at a wedding for the night whilst my baby is at grand parents who’s 6 months old. She’s stayed over 1 night a month since birth and 1 morning every other week whilst I do KIT days at work. Let’s hope she forgives me!

OP do what YOU feel is best. Me and DP love our 1 night a month to go out for a meal, cinema or something followed by a long lie in. Last month we went bowling and for a meal with a group of friends. It’s good for us as a couple and our baby is happy as Larry with their grandparents and comes home to happy well rested parents itching to get them back.

when I go back to work she’ll also.. shock horror.. be with grandparents 3 days a week whilst I work!

if I followed the advice on here i don’t think me, DP or baby would be half as happy as we are. Do what’s right for you as a family.

We’ve just received our baby’s first passport. Took less than 3 weeks. I wouldn’t call that a pretty long wait.

One night is very different from four nights in a hotel with grandparents the baby doesn’t really know though, @Greeneggsandham202

off-topic, but I’m green with envy at your setup. Our children are now 17 and 14- neither set of grandparents have ever looked after them for a single night!

You're very lucky then! My friends had to delay a move to France because they were waiting on a passport for their new baby.

Even the Home Office addressed this as there was so much coverage in the news: homeofficemedia.blog.gov.uk/2022/08/09/factsheet-passport-processing-times-and-unprecedented-levels-of-demand/

@Greeneggsandham202 you have a lovely set up, and long may it continue, but you can't really think it's the same as the OP? 4 nights leaving baby with strangers (I know they're not strangers to them but they are to the baby).

You also say to do what she wants - she's made it clear that she doesn't want to leave baby with them for that long.

Not quite the same situation is it? One night with a grandparent the child sees regularly in a place they know vs 4 nights in a hotel with strangers(to the baby).
Your situation is pretty common and nobody would see it as concerning or advise you not to do it(I’m not sure why you think otherwise?). The situation OP describes is very different.

Actually you are following the advice here the OP

@Calphurnia88 your friends are a bit silly. Why not apply for emergency passport considering they need it for an important event - move to France?

We're going overseas with our little one and applied for his passport (when he was 2 weeks old) via emergency route. Expensive but only took two weeks

@Calphurnia88 that was in the summer, it's been back to 3/4 weeks for quite a while now

Fair enough.