Am I silly to be upset with mil for pitting child front faceing in car seat when I asked her to rearrange face?

[Sophie1029734]

Hi everyone my lo is 2. I've asked her since the beginning of time to do rear faceing and have explained how it's safer, prevents death and severity of injury during crashes. She seems hell bent on the idea that it hurts her legs when I've said multiple times it does not after lots if time researching it.

Everytime she has come to give me a lift somewhere it's always front faceing. Whenever she takes lo to the car she goes quick and seems to not one to go there to say bye. A new front faceing seats appaeard in her car, saying it was just another family child's car seat (it isn't) she slipped and said she hasn't used the other one for a while.

Am I silly to be upset after realising shes been ignoring my requests to rear face lo? And knowing she is ignoring my requests and actively trying to hide it Car? Car safety is a huge thing for me and I feel my trusts gone a bit. It just makes me wonder what else other requests are disrespected. I know this may not seem a huge issue for some, so am i being silly.

Big no from me

Would not be letting my child go with her anywhere

Don’t get in the car with her if you are not happy.

Where's your husband in all this? He should be sorting his mother out about disrespecting your boundaries

Your not being silly she has deliberately ignored your request and it's not a unreasonable one! All the data shows its much safer.
Does she have to go in the car with her? Personally I would refuse until she rectifies it and apologises. I would also be wanting to see them strapped in so if pick up then saying let mummy get you into the car etc

Don't go in the car with her or let her transport your child until she demonstrates she will comply with your request for rear facing. It doesn't matter what she thinks about your decision, it's your decision.

She cannot be trusted to keep your lo safe. Certainly not in the car, but no, I wouldn't trust her generally either.

You are absolutely being silly, and the other posters here are being very dramatic. Front facing seats are very safe. MN is ridiculous over this. Rear facing is safer than an already very safe option, front facing is not "unsafe".

And please don't listen to other PPs here and start a war here with someone very important in your life and your child's life. Language like "she can't be trusted to keep your LO safe" is just so over the top, and harmful to the situation.

It's a minor annoyance that she uses a very safe seating arrangement over a very very safe arrangement.

Don't ruin relationships over this.

Injury and death is reduced by 97% percent when rear faceing, the difference is safety is dramatic.

So have said 70% but even if it's 20% safer I'd take that over the unsafe option anyway.

Threaten her that Police will prosecute as the car seat is not legally in the car properly.

Jesus. Why?

What rubbish. Front facing is perfectly legal from 9 months of age

Extended rear facing is beloved of MN readers but in reality in the real world most parents don't do it at that age

Well because the Mil is not listening.

Do you sit front facing OP? Or do you sit rear facing?
It's no more dangerous for your child than it is for you.

@HandScreen How is that being silly? You’ve said it yourself in your post - rear facing IS safer, regardless of how safe other options are. If OP wants her child rear facing that should be respected.

@Sophie1029734 My MIL actually has very similar opinions. She does NOT agree with rear facing and also believes my DS should travel in the front passenger seat (because how else would she play with him while she’s driving?! 😳🤯). She also doesn’t believe grapes/tomatoes etc need cut & brought a remote control to my house for him to play with because she thought he’d like the coloured buttons - it had a very loose sliding batter cover with button batteries inside 😬 DS was able to open it straight up himself.
Quite simply, I don’t trust her to follow basic safety instructions, so she doesn’t get my DS alone ever.

I don't think you understand statistics, and that's fine, most people don't.

But for example, if a ff car seat reduces the chances of death while driving to .00000000001%, and rf reduces it to .000000000005%, you are looking at a 50% reduction in risk. It's relative to the already very safe seat. You are thinking it means absolute.

It's legal because its safer than no restraint. Ofcourse it will always be safer than that, but when there's a crash there's a significantly higher chance of severity of injury (especially neck) and death. Rear faceing is alot safer and actually advised over front. Watch the demonstration videos of it

You call the police because someone is not listening to you? 😂

What do you think they would say? Ff is very safe...and of course legal

I agree with you on rear facing and 2.5 DD is rear facing still. But even if I didn't, I would expect MIL to respect your parenting choice that you have researched and clearly communicated to her. It's not up to her. If she's happy to ignore you here, she'll likely to ignore you elsewhere. I would set the boundaries now - calmly and politely to maintain relationships but if you're not happy, this is your child and your choice and I would make that clear to her.

"It's safer than no restraint" - come on, OP, yes it's quite a bit "safer than no seat". You are being disingenuous.

Alchaol is safe, pharmaceutical drugs are safe but all have risks. The safe goes for carseats, just because its illegal doesn't mean its conpletley safe. The safe option is to rear face, why are you getting so mad about me wanting the safer option?

Anyone who ignored my requests for safety precautions like this, would not transport my children.
Mine will be rear facing until the age specified in the guidelines (think it's age 4, but my kids are still only 2, so haven't checked recently).

If there's a "safe" option and an "even safer" option, I don't know why anyone would not choose the safer option, when it makes no difference to the child.

You are pig-headedly looking to harm relationships in your family without an understanding of risk. You don't seem to grasp the statistics. Getting upset about an option that is .00000000005% safer in absolute terms (50% in relative terms, relative to another extremely safe option) is ridiculous.

@HandScreen PP said threaten, not actually call.

And this Rear facing is safer than an already very safe option, front facing is not "unsafe".

I get your point but what kind of grandparent are you if you don't choose the safest of the options for a small child? Car accidents are really common, and even a minor fender bender I just don't understand why you wouldn't protect your Gc as much as you could.