Am I silly to be upset with mil for pitting child front faceing in car seat when I asked her to rearrange face?

[Sophie1029734]

Hi everyone my lo is 2. I've asked her since the beginning of time to do rear faceing and have explained how it's safer, prevents death and severity of injury during crashes. She seems hell bent on the idea that it hurts her legs when I've said multiple times it does not after lots if time researching it.

Everytime she has come to give me a lift somewhere it's always front faceing. Whenever she takes lo to the car she goes quick and seems to not one to go there to say bye. A new front faceing seats appaeard in her car, saying it was just another family child's car seat (it isn't) she slipped and said she hasn't used the other one for a while.

Am I silly to be upset after realising shes been ignoring my requests to rear face lo? And knowing she is ignoring my requests and actively trying to hide it Car? Car safety is a huge thing for me and I feel my trusts gone a bit. It just makes me wonder what else other requests are disrespected. I know this may not seem a huge issue for some, so am i being silly.

I love posts like this. I would love another adult to come take my child and drive them somewhere so I could have a break. The luxury of getting my knickers in a twist over something like this makes me salivate. If I was your MiL I'd probably tell you to stick it.

I love posts like this. I love when someone's response to every argument is 'you should be grateful', 'wish I had that problem', 'yOu'Ll MiSs ThEm wHeN tHeY'rE gOnE'. So helpful.

I'm not sure that is my response to every argument. But it definitely is my response to this argument 😜

So what about my situation @Franca123 where DS had a dairy allergy which MIL didn't believe existed. Would you have been grateful for a break if you never quite knew whether MIL would give your DC something with dairy in it, because she wanted to do what she wanted and wasn't going to follow your requests.

Not sure why you're particularly interested in my opinion on this? If someone was intentionally giving your child something that would make them poorly, I'd suggest not allowing them there unsupervised. Excema and digestive issues connected with dairy allergy are severly unpleasant. Not to mention associated problems with sinuses and asthma etc........

And putting them in a seat that faces backwards rather than forwards is a pretty small and proportionate action isn't it.

For those of you totally shrugging off the 'negligible' difference in safety for babies and toddlers between RF or FF seats, Google "Swedish crash safety testing". You can also watch safety demonstrations of crashes using crash test dummies on YouTube. The results may (should) astound you. Babies and small children ARE safer when rear facing. It's not opinion - it's fact.

At the end of the day, it doesn't even really matter about the ins and outs of what's safer.

The fact is MIL should be listening to the child's parents about specific requests like this and not making her up her own mind about what she thinks is best. Not to mention lying about it on top.

This sums it up.

I look after my sister's baby and wouldn't dream of imposing my preferences on HER baby.

I have even asked her if she's happy for her dd to travel in my car at all because it's 18 years old and tiny.

I am delighted she lends her baby to me and wouldn't dream of doing anything that might make her worry or feel as though I wasn't listening.

She would not be squashed 🙄. Please make at least a minimal effort to understand the subject if you're going to comment.

@Minimalme "she lends her baby to me"

This is cute* *😀

Think some people need to watch car seat crash tests in YouTube me like

@SharpLily thank you

Ten years ago these discussions were about gps who didn’t believe in car seats. It’s good to see that it’s moved on a little bit.

I didn’t leave my dc alone with mil when they were little because she just didn’t see hazards (leaving them in the room with the iron on/ frying pan on). I visited with them a lot because having those relationships is a priority for us.

SharpLily

”She would not be squashed 🙄. Please make at least a minimal effort to understand the subject if you're going to comment.”

rude. My understanding of the subject is based on a grandchild who is very uncomfortable rf at 23 months.

please don’t tell me whether I may comment or not.

Yeah, the risk of internal decapitation is so worth them not feeling a bit squashed. Definitely

Absolutely agree with this!

@Mammyloveswine but there is a risk it might mean she doesn’t follow other reasonable requests by the OP

My MIL made it very clear to us that she didn’t believe in DS’s dairy allergy. When we were staying with us she also overruled us with things we were doing with DS, so if we had asked him to do something, she would say to DS oh isn’t mummy being silly you don’t have to do that! Or when he was at his high chair I always liked him to have a bib on before he started eating. She would take it off him and then give him something to eat whilst looking directly at me! Something small but really annoying and going against our wishes. She also questioned why we weren’t giving him dairy ‘as who has ever heard of a child being allergic to milk, it is ridiculous’. I’m afraid I never let her have DS on his own because I couldn’t trust her, and she had shown in other ways she didn’t follow our wishes.

Luckily DS grew out of his dairy allergy and MIL grew to respect us as parents, so all is fine now. But I could see that she might have been similar to the OP’s MIL when DS was that age. It can build up to a bigger picture.

I don't know why people go on about them being uncomfortable rf, mine didn't rf after the first couple of years but plenty do and are perfectly comfortable

You have demonstrated no understanding of the subject. There are various links on this thread, they're worth investigating.

"our grandchild is 23 months and would be squashed."
"grandchild who is very uncomfortable rf at 23 months."

Would be or is?

SharpLily

Would be or is?

was, actually. If you’re that into semantics. He was. No longer is though because he’s now FF.

@Aconitum Im pretty rear facing is a legal requirement in the UK (I’m assuming that’s where you are?) until a child is 15months old if I remember correctly. So a 12m old shouldn’t be forward facing at all yet

It's 9kg generally in the UK. There is an exception as we have 2 different standards in parallel at the moment, but most seats IME fall under the standard where forward facing is legal from 9kg. Most 12 month olds will be 9kg.

I wouldnt let her spend time alone with my child if she wasn't respecting my parenting decisions. It's far safer and does absolutely no harm so it's just petulant and pathetic for her to keep changing the seat - trying to make some sort of point using your childs safety. Vile