Told off for baby not wearing hat

[pinacolada22]

Today I was on the bus with my 3 month old, dropping her at nursery, and a woman said, 'Oh dear, baby needs a hat. She will burn. You can't be taking her out with no hat on.' She also said in a humorous tone, 'How you have time do your makeup but not put a hat on baby?'
The irony being that today was the first day in a long time I have worn makeup, I just wanted to do something nice for myself.
I felt so embarrassed that she said this in front of everyone on the bus, I'm sure she meant well but I just feel like she shoulda kept her thoughts to herself.
This morning I was in such a rush, its always a miracle we manage to get on the bus on time. It never crossed my mind that she needed a hat. I get it, its hot. I think around 27 degrees in London today.
I told the nursery when I dropped her that she doesn't have a sun hat, they said not to worry.
AIBU to be upset by this? I'm probably just being overly sensitive, it is cancer season after all...

I wouldn't be upset but honestly if your baby is going to be in the sun at all they need a hat. I am sure the nursery will have spares though. As for make up. I have 3 kids, one with additional needs and work. I have always done my hair and make up. If it makes you feel better do it.

YANBU to be upset. Stupid woman can keep her nose out making comments about your baby and make up.

However, it should have occurred to you to put a hat on your baby. I insist my 3 year old wears a hat on a day like this. But now you know.

Anyone who would have overheard that conversation would have thought the woman was an interfering pain in the arse. She made herself look bad not you! And I get why you might not think of a hat for such a young baby, they really shouldn't be in direct sun light for very long at all at their age, hat or no hat!

Yes, I agree she does need a hat. Maybe I needed to hear it from her so I don't forget next time. I just would never personally say that to someone else, even if I was secretly thinking it ! but I guess everyones different

The lady was obviously very rude and shouldn't have said it like that or said anything at all, but young babies need hats.

But if the 'stupid' woman hadn't made a comment, the baby might never wear a hat! At least it got the op thinking. She should be silently thanking the woman instead of feeling aggrieved.

She shouldn't have made a comment about your appearance but your baby should have definately had a sun hat on.

Obviously baby needs a hat and probably nursery would have a spare.The makeup remark was rude. Ignore her rudeness and get a cheap hat and a spare as they are always getting lost

You should have just said that she doesn't need one inside the bus!!

as for her comment about your make up & not having time to put a hat on the baby, it was really rude & judgemental.

Don't let it bother you x

Chances of baby keeping hat on - slim!
Chances the lady on the bus was a Bitch - high!

Nursery's have spares of most things.
It is a useful thing to have on you but what parent can say they have never forgotten anything!

@pinacolada22 I had someone making that exact same comment to me when ds was a few months old. I was going from the car into a shop and back again so about 10m max of walking 'in the sun'.

And thats if you bave a baby that is happy to actually wear a hat!

Honestly, forget about that woman. She made HUGE assumtions about you wo knowing you and she was completely off base. With tempartures like this, I woud NOT expect your dc to be in the sun at any point. They should be in the shadow all the time (at which point the 'sun hat' becomes irrelevant). Thye won't need it in the bus either.

I got told off by a woman for my baby not wearing a hat in the winter, she actually ran down the street after me to tell me, the truth is I put one on him but he kept taking it off and refused to wear it I don’t know whether she wanted me to glue it on!

That was just a very rude woman. Your makeup has nothing to do with your baby not wearing a hat, she was just rudely implying that you put your own appearance above your baby's health, which is obviously not true. I can't stand people like that. We all make mistakes, especially as parents, but there is no need for others to be so mean about it. I would just ignore it and put an extra hat in the buggy from now on, in case you forget, but you probably won't because you will now always think: hat, rude woman, shame, poor baby.

If it makes you feel any better op. When my son was around 18months he would take his shoes off and launch them at me while
Driving. So I stopped putting them on until we got to our destination. I once forgot to put them
In the car and had to leave him at nursery without footwear.

Well are you upset over your baby not having a hat and being correct about it?

My DC didn't have sun hats at that age, they were just kept out of the sun! I'd have told her to mind her own!

It’s a bit odd, how did she know you didn’t have one in your bag? 🤔

she was rude and it’s your call on the hat, based on circumstances.

I didn’t put a sun hat on babies who never got any direct sunlight on days like this. They were always in the shade anyway. A sunshade is the same as a really big hat anyway. Just not directly on their head.

Do you really think people are that stupid that thye would NEVER have thought about having a hat for their baby/toddler?

The child didn't need one in the bus. That woman had no idea about where the OP and baby were going. The nursery didn't ASK for parents to bring a hat (probably because they wont take the children in the sun... If they had needed one, they would have said, just like they ask about suncream).
Why do you think it was such an essential that a random person can not just give advice but actually berate and judge the OP on her appearance too and her parenting skills???

What if the OP had slowly been coming out of a suicidal place, do you still think that the comment would have been helpful for example? Or more likely to throw the OP back down into despair?

When you don't know what's going in people's life, you shut up and avoid putting them down. It's quite simple really

People on London buses are arseholes, especially when you have kids. Cant believe she commented on your make up.

Last year i got abused by some horrible woman for not saying please when i got on an empty bus where two people were stood in the buggy space instead of sitting in one of the 10 empty seats and I asked them to move.

I'd taken my DD out to get her christening dress - i had horrible PND after DD had a traumatic NICU stay at birth, made a real effort to leave the house, shlep down to Kingston to the John Lewis only to find the lifts at Wimbledon were broken so had to get 2 buses home. It set me back ages.

Some people just never stop to consider that they shouldn't interefere and they don't know what is going on in someone else's life.

While I agree with you that the lady on the bus was quite rude, the truth is that your baby needs a hat. It's your responsibility to not forget the hat, even when you're rushed in the morning.

At 3mo mine was lay in its carrycot with a hood pulled over - hat not even needed. I'd have one in the bag for getting them out if we were outside but mine wouldn't be wearing a hat on the bus at 3mo.

Try not to take it to heart OP, she was very rude to comment in that way. For all she knew you were on your way to buy a hat, or you could have had one in your bag.

My DD is 12 months and I can't keep a hat on her head for more than 2 minutes so I'm sure other people are judging me too.

I live in Italy and you would not believe the amount of comments people make about my kids' attire. In Winter they have to be wrapped up in 15 different layers with enough blankets to make some kind of baby lasagne.

In Summer they have to be wearing next to nothing, have a hat, a sun shade on the buggy as well as a mosquito net. mosquito repellent must have been applied and I get bonus points if I have an after bite cream I my bag.

At the start I thought these opinionated strangers were seriously annoying, and began dressing my kids very carefully, in order to avoid random old ladies telling me off.

Now I have come around to the idea that they were probably right...I had maybe been under dressing my kids in Winter and maybe wasn't cautious enough in summer. They very rarely correct me anymore and I have actually defected to their way of thinking now!

I was in a supermarket yesterday and had no covers on the baby (who was wearing shorts and a t shirt). It was about 36 degrees outside. A man came over to me and said that I needed to put a blanket over my baby as the air conditioning would give her a fever I just smiled and said thanks but when I thought about it, realised it was a bit chilly inside actually.

These people are very annoying sometimes but in retrospect a lot of what they say is true. It doesn't make you a bad mum.

The make up comment is very cheeky and your baby is only 3 months old. I have had so many moments with all 3 of my kids where I think 'how could I have forgotten x/y/z??' and felt like the worst mother ever.

Please be warned that, as a mother, you will have episodes for the rest of your life where you feel awful about something you did or didn't do. Try to let them be learning moments and move on.

hats stayed on my ds head for less than 15s

we lived in Egypt too.

I tried.

The most I ever got him to wear was like a headscarf fashioned into a turban when we were in the tombs being tourists for the day and it was roasting and he was extremely hot.

not all kids will wear them. The main thing then is to put sunscreen on them and try not to have them in direct noon sun.

the woman on the bus was out of line.

I’d have told her off right back.