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Original poster

Told off for baby not wearing hat

139 replies

pinacolada22 · 22/06/2022 13:46

Today I was on the bus with my 3 month old, dropping her at nursery, and a woman said, 'Oh dear, baby needs a hat. She will burn. You can't be taking her out with no hat on.' She also said in a humorous tone, 'How you have time do your makeup but not put a hat on baby?'
The irony being that today was the first day in a long time I have worn makeup, I just wanted to do something nice for myself.
I felt so embarrassed that she said this in front of everyone on the bus, I'm sure she meant well but I just feel like she shoulda kept her thoughts to herself.
This morning I was in such a rush, its always a miracle we manage to get on the bus on time. It never crossed my mind that she needed a hat. I get it, its hot. I think around 27 degrees in London today.
I told the nursery when I dropped her that she doesn't have a sun hat, they said not to worry.
AIBU to be upset by this? I'm probably just being overly sensitive, it is cancer season after all...

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JennyForeigner · 22/06/2022 15:32

Fair enough to suggest a hat but completely unnecessary to comment on your make-up.

LilacPoppy · 22/06/2022 15:35

@Strokethefurrywall babies need socks so the delicate skin on their feet doesn’t burn. It’s not to keep feet warm in the heat.

Onlinetherapist · 22/06/2022 15:42

I’d love to know how everyone is getting their babies to keep a hat on!

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BigWoollyJumpers · 22/06/2022 15:42

Small babies of 3 months, do not need hats, or socks, in hot weather. They are in the shade lying down in a pram usually. When DD1 was born it was the hottest year ever, some 38c. She was in her pram, outside, under the tree, under a sunshade, with just her nappy on, with her hair blowing in any available breeze. Lovely.

Basilbrushgotfat · 22/06/2022 15:42

Nothing like a bit of mum shaming first thing in the morning hey?

The woman on the bus was not only incredibly rude, she was a bitch.

It's one thing to offer helpful advice to a mum (and even then needs to be handled with care), it's another to make nasty, spiteful comments.

She's pretty lucky she didn't get her arse handed to her - some women wouldn't have taken that lying down.

Facts are these, op:

  • You are at least more aware and will take a hat in future
  • Your baby was fine this morning and didn't burn
  • The woman was a bitch
  • You are a good and caring mum and not everyone knows everything straight away (even things that might seem obvious to others)
makinganavalon · 22/06/2022 15:50

Comment about makeup was out of order but bottom line is baby needs a hat and I think she was right to mention it, albeit clumsily

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 22/06/2022 15:52

makinganavalon · 22/06/2022 15:50

Comment about makeup was out of order but bottom line is baby needs a hat and I think she was right to mention it, albeit clumsily

But they don't. Not if they are kept out of the sun

NancyPickford · 22/06/2022 15:55

My late mother had a bee in her bonnet (no pun intended) about hats on babies, winter and summer. But she wouldn't have dreamed of telling a mother off for not having a hat on the child. Unless it was a family member, then it was no holds barred.

DaphneBasset · 22/06/2022 15:59

What's the point in putting a sun hat on a 3 month old? They can't sit up so the hat isn't blocking anything. Nursery should be keeping her in the shade all the time like she was on the bus!! which is probably why they said it didn't matter. In my opinion, people make comments like this because they've forgotten the early baby stage and think that advice for older babies applies.

makinganavalon · 22/06/2022 16:10

@AllThingsServeTheBeam
Fair enough if she's in a pram, but what if she was in a carrier with mum not holding a parasol over her. I would definitely say she needs a hat then. Even OP said she would think of her having a hat now, so that could be the case for all we know, in which case it was best for the lady to say something, even if most of what she said was not necessary.

FishcakesWithTooMuchCoriander · 22/06/2022 16:10

I just really don’t understand why so many people are insisting that 3 month old babies must have hats on.

woody87 · 22/06/2022 16:13

OP if this ever happens again, tell the old bat to fuck odd and move seats if possible.

Also DC1 refused point blank to keep a hat on their head for the first 12 months of his life and we lived in Australia where it was regularly 35 degrees so don't stress.

woody87 · 22/06/2022 16:13

Fuck Off*

Strokethefurrywall · 22/06/2022 16:20

@LilacPoppy - not inside a supermarket they don't. Which is where I was when I received the comment.

2bazookas · 22/06/2022 16:24

I think she had a point and made it well.

You didn't think; so she made you think.

You got all hot and bothered and very uncomfortable. That's what lack of thinking would do to your child.

DeadButDelicious · 22/06/2022 16:26

That lady was rude and judgemental. My DD wouldn't even keep a hat on when she was that little. They all got removed and flung.

Pay her no mind, you know what you need to do, you're doing fine. Some people just don't know how to not stick their beak in.

Franca123 · 22/06/2022 16:30

I forgot my toddler's shoes once for nursery. They were totally relaxed and said they had wellies if it were a problem. I'd chucked him in the pram and rushed out. Sure millions have done worse.

Daisyroseandhyacinth · 22/06/2022 16:31

I watched a a woman with a very young baby in an outdoor cafe the other day. It was a hot sunny day but the baby didn’t have a hat on. She was holding the baby upright so its head and face were in full sun. I felt very uncomfortable but would never had said anything . Just try to remember a hat in future and don’t feel too upset.

Goldfishjones · 22/06/2022 16:43

Way to make a mum feel bad. Don't give it any more thought.

I have 3 kids and the youngest one went to nursery without a hat today. When I collected her nursery said no issue, they have lots of spares. No sunstroke, no drama.

ChocolateHippo · 22/06/2022 16:46

I'm going for YANBU because babies should be kept out of the sun on sunny days. My DC at 3mo would have had no use for a hat because he was stationary and kept in the shade. At 8mo+ when they are on the move, it is much trickier to keep them covered and the hat on their heads!

SandyWedges · 22/06/2022 16:46

It's the type of comment that could tip someone over the edge

shivawn · 22/06/2022 16:54

It's the type of comment that could tip someone over the edge

This. Its a difficult enough time when you have a baby that young. That lady was completely thoughtless and rude speaking to you like that. I wouldn't have a hat on a 3 month old either because I would be keeping them in the shade.

PoseyFlump · 22/06/2022 16:55

@pinacolada22 you don't say how old this woman was? I'm guessing she's elderly. My Nan was very cutting and tactless towards the end when she had the beginnings of dementia. Take it on the chin and don't let it get to you.

Italiandreams · 22/06/2022 16:56

I’m not sure some people are registering the age of the baby, surely at least three months , unlesss they were maybe in a carrier there would be little use for a hat. They can’t even sit up and should be in the shade anyway, you are not even supposed to put sun cream on them.

liveforsummer · 22/06/2022 16:57

Why are so many people on here also scolding op saying she sound have had a hat. What's the use of a sun hat on a baby who can't even sit up yet? To lie under the ent head on the pram mattress? Bizarre