Told off for baby not wearing hat

[pinacolada22]

Today I was on the bus with my 3 month old, dropping her at nursery, and a woman said, 'Oh dear, baby needs a hat. She will burn. You can't be taking her out with no hat on.' She also said in a humorous tone, 'How you have time do your makeup but not put a hat on baby?'
The irony being that today was the first day in a long time I have worn makeup, I just wanted to do something nice for myself.
I felt so embarrassed that she said this in front of everyone on the bus, I'm sure she meant well but I just feel like she shoulda kept her thoughts to herself.
This morning I was in such a rush, its always a miracle we manage to get on the bus on time. It never crossed my mind that she needed a hat. I get it, its hot. I think around 27 degrees in London today.
I told the nursery when I dropped her that she doesn't have a sun hat, they said not to worry.
AIBU to be upset by this? I'm probably just being overly sensitive, it is cancer season after all...

Yeah def a British thing lol - In my case a rugged geordie.

Well, all cultures have their quirks I suppose! This is a new one on me

It’s not dangerous for a three month old that lies down in a shaded pram to not have a hat, especially if they are on a bus! If the baby is held up right outside for periods of time then yes they should have a hat, but OP has not said they happened , so not having a hat is not such an issue. Bus to nursery may well not involve much time outside at all.

I don't think it's a British thing, I think it's a (British?) Mumsnet thing.

I've noticed on here that people will propose the most outrageous and offensive (often expletive ridden) responses to any scenario, sometimes even directed to family and friends. I highly doubt the people suggested them would actually have to chutzpah to say them IRL, but somehow get a thrill out of pretending that they would in the online world 😅

🤣 ah OK

It just seemed like the most extraordinary or responses to a pretty inoffensive comment (even if you think the bus lady was wrong). Anyone I know would just say something vague and get on with their day. "SHE'S AN OLD BIIIIIIIIITTTTCH...PIIIISSSSS OOOOOOFF" seems nuts! And it was quite a few posters!

But makes sense if that's all bravado for the Internet.

That’s because it is NOT dangerous for 3 months old to be in the bus Wo a hat on?
and because nursery didn’t ask for one? Very likely because they don’t plan to take a 3 months old baby in the sun?

Therefore there was NO risk for the baby? So why on earth would anyone try to make the OP feel bad about no having a sunhat that isn’t needed?

BUT having a go at a woman with a 3 months baby, attacking her parenting on the ground she is wearing make up Wo any idea of what’s going in her life CAN BE dangerous for that woman? Like you have no idea if she had PND, is feeling suicidal, is struggling? So on that ground the woman was VERY wrong (and rude etc…)

And on MN, some posters are STILL going on the same way despite knowing some of her personal situation. Making a new parent feeling crap (esp when all the stuff about it being dangerous is wrong….) when it’s clear from the OP that she is fragile, is working etc… IS crap from those posters.
So yes the personal situation is important because it has (or should have!) an impact in the way you answer the OP. There was no need to try and make her feel even worse.

Worth noting the OP hasn’t been back….

It's interesting that some people think a hat is necessary vs others don't.
For context, she was in the pram with the shade thing down. Old woman peeped down to see baby then made the comments. Followed by, 'she's gorgeous, can grandma look after her?' 😂I honestly just laughed that part off (secretly thinking yes please I need a break!!!)
I don't think she was deliberately trying to upset me, I think she just had no filter/sensitivity.

If baby was in a pram with a shade there was zero need for a hat

I told a man his baby shouldn't be in the sun this week. He said it's ok she's got lotion on. I said that's not the point. She can't even sit up so she must be under 6 months. It was the midday sun. No hat. In a park for 20 mins before I said anything. I said it politely and now he knows. So I'm with the lady, although her wording was clumsy/embarrassing she was trying to help your baby. You needed reminding you said so yourself. Even if your baby doesn't keep it on very long, a bonnet you tie under the chin helps sometimes when they're very little. I'm all about what's best for the kids even if it's embarrassing. I have been told various things over the years and usually only felt a strong reaction when they were true! The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off is so accurate.

Sorry I missed your most recent post. In a pram with the shade down....doesn't need a hat in my. opinion. I would have put a hat on in the carrier or if handing her over to someone else who I would expect to keep her out of the sun anyway, but for those moments in between shade.

I can’t believe some of the comments on this? My eldest usually wore her hat with no problems at all but my youngest won’t wear any time of hat, goes mad screaming and pulling at it. And we must have tried about 10 different types. I try to keep her out of the direct sun too much but honestly - what would you all do then? The ones saying they have to have one? (Not meant to be argumentative- genuinely want to know - as this thread is making me feel guilty again.)

Because she doesn't like being in the pram too much now I avoid going to places where she won't be in shade ie we only go to parks/gardens where I can take a pop up UV tent, and on a sunny day make sure we're not outside from 11-3ish unless I can ensure shade (so we don't go to the swings for instance). I suppose I make active choices about where we go to keep her sun safe.

It's unusual for 3 month old babies to be transported around on peoples laps for any distance so it's easy enough to assume that wasn't the case

Yes, this. Just the other day I was walking home and it was very hot and sunny. I did have his hat with me but as he was laying in his shaded pram, he didn't have it on. If he'd have had it on he'd have had a very sweaty head, so it wouldn't have been clever of me to put it on when he didn't need it! He started to get upset so I had to pick him up, so for some moments his head was exposed to the sun. Probably a similar situation with that baby.