Told off for baby not wearing hat

[pinacolada22]

Today I was on the bus with my 3 month old, dropping her at nursery, and a woman said, 'Oh dear, baby needs a hat. She will burn. You can't be taking her out with no hat on.' She also said in a humorous tone, 'How you have time do your makeup but not put a hat on baby?'
The irony being that today was the first day in a long time I have worn makeup, I just wanted to do something nice for myself.
I felt so embarrassed that she said this in front of everyone on the bus, I'm sure she meant well but I just feel like she shoulda kept her thoughts to herself.
This morning I was in such a rush, its always a miracle we manage to get on the bus on time. It never crossed my mind that she needed a hat. I get it, its hot. I think around 27 degrees in London today.
I told the nursery when I dropped her that she doesn't have a sun hat, they said not to worry.
AIBU to be upset by this? I'm probably just being overly sensitive, it is cancer season after all...

The woman sounds rather rude. Take no notice. Your baby certainly didn't need a hat while on the bus anyway. Her comments about your makeup were just none of her business.

All three of my DDs were hat refusers at that age. They would pull the hat off in seconds and fling it out of the pram. I lost a number of hats that way so I gave up with them. Instead I had a parasol for the pram which I could angle to keep them shaded so I just used that. If I got them out of the pram I also made sure we were largely in shade, and I applied good suncream too.

People talk such a lot of claptrap about babies needing hats without seeming to realise that they have minds of their own and getting some of them to wear one can be a losing battle.

I always put suncream on mine from when they were just a few weeks old. No issues.

I have bought 3 hats for my 10 month old in the last couple of months... not one has stayed on his head for more than 3 seconds 🤣
Luckily the hood of his pushchair as a UV filter.
Did she have a hat on? Lol

I think she was way out of order. You obviously don't have young babies out in the sun anyway, hence them not needing hats on all of the time when it's sunny. You could get one in case but people are over- reacting and the bus lady was really awful. Presumably you weren't out in the direct sunlight for longer than a few seconds. Trying to shame you for wearing makeup is so rude of her and absolutely none of her business.

A lady I'd never met once told me how to parent (indirectly) by telling my DS, 'mummy needs to get your mittens and hat on before you freeze you poor little cold boy!' It was a beautiful autumnal day, so I hadn't even brought them, but she was obviously feeling cold/ the need to criticize someone who was feeling vulnerable after much sleep deprivation!

I'm probably just being overly sensitive, it is cancer season after all

What? Cancer only strikes in the summer?

DCs and hats I used to buy in bulk as they always lost them.

I would have been temped to say "we left the house with one"

I actually checked this with a doctor as I was worried about using suncream. He said "never too early". So not sure the "you're not supposed to even put suncream on them" advice is universal

You got me thinking then and wondering where I got it from ( in the hazy early baby days I could have been confused)

www.skincancer.org/blog/bringing-up-a-sun-safe-baby

This says not to put sun screen on until babies are six months.
I’m not criticising anyone who does, we all make our own judgement calls, but just wanted to check I wasn’t going mad.

My point was really , it’s entirely possible to be sun safe with a three month old baby without a hat because the should be out of the sun and will probably be lying down anyway.

Yes, I had used Dr Google first too 😁 Then asked a real life doctor who happened to disagree 🤷‍♀️

Tbh, I didn't use it when my dcs were tiny as they were both winter babies anyway.

That article does recommend hats in early months too, which is interesting

People are so bloody nosey and rude

My baby hated hats. We were constantly putting it back on

I think the baby is safe whilst on the bus

How did she know the hat wasn't in your bag?

I wouldn't have the hat on whilst on a bus as baby could overheat on those sweaty London buses

At 3 months old I used the pram sun shade to keep the baby out of the sun or kept them out of the sun. I am not sure why a sun hat is needed at that age and she was rude.

To be honest that would have really upset me because I'm ultra sensitive especially about my daughter. You know I forgot to bring a hat to my mums yesterday for my daughter, she is 16 months. At 3 months I could barely get out of the house to be honest, I would have probably cried right in front of her

It's complicated isn't it because she was shaming you but because she's old and probably meant it kindly and because baby does need a hat, lots of people will try to excuse it

Basically, I think you are allowed to feel the way you feel and it sounds like you've got a lot on your plate to me

The comment about make up was unnecessary and nasty. As everyone has said though babies have very sensitive skin and burn quite easily so some form of protection from the sun is essential. I'm not sure when they can start wearing sun screen so please always carry with you a hat.

Only if they’re in the sun! Obviously they be in the sun, but if they are they need a hat!

Why? they will be lying down. The hat will be pressed against the base or mattress of the pram offering shade to nothing

The baby I saw was being held up with a bare head in strong sun. A baby lying down in shade is a different thing. Don’t know if OP was holding the baby On her knee, or what the situation was.

Maybe just pack babies nursery bag of a night so it's not such a rush in the morning.
Nappies, sudocreme, sun cream. Couple of changes of clothes, sun hat
and anything else you usually take. X

Just to add my two pennies on hat vs. no hat.

Currently out walking laps of the park with my 3mo in the carrier (he woke up early and wanted to get a solid nap in before the hot weather kicks in).

He IS wearing a sunhat. I'm trying my best to walk in the shade but not possible all the time and the hat is protecting his eyes as well as his little bald head.

If he wasn't a pram refuser, there would be no need for the hat. So depends whether OP was using pram or carrier.

This doesn't change the fact that the woman on the bus was rude. Detect a hint of misogyny with the makeup comment too.

My toddler won't keep a hat on: I've tried all types, tied on, different fabrics etc, nope. I wince when we're in the sun together and his little head is exposed, but I cover him in sun cream and try to stay out the sun.

If anyone tried to tell me off about his lack of hat, they would get short shrift.

You clearly got upset by her comment becouse she was right. If she wasn't you won't care.
They need hat if the sun is out! I have put two summer hats in my diaperbag around March just in case. Also have a thin winter one (you never know how the weather will be up north) Also, the sunscreen always there. What I also found useful: umbrella on the pushchair. Useful even when they small (they legs etc. can still be under the sun in the pushchair) and especially good when they toddlers and can't stand the hat.
Well, as you said: now you won't forget it again!

You clearly got upset by her comment becouse she was right. If she wasn't you won't care.

I duly disagree there!!
The OP is upset because that woman attack her about not putting her child needs first when she is struggling and has for the first time in a while actually managed to out make up on.
The woman attack was about her, what she looks like and not being a good enough parent. Just by reading the OP you can feel that the OP is already feeling crap about herself and is struggling to cope (would you have been happy to be back at work with baby in nursery when your baby was 3 months old or were you one of those new mums who couldn’t imagine leaving your baby for the whole day with someone else, be it the father or a trusted family member??).

Plus there is NO NEED for a baby to have a hat on the bus. Nor did they need it at nursery - because they won’t go out in the sun, which is the safe thing to do!!!

OP is neither, she is a bus user.

And the baby goes to nursery which is unlikely to take them outside with so much sun……

I personally would only take such a young baby out in the sun either very early in the am or late in the afternoon. Because then YES it is unsafe for the baby.

@MumbleAlwaysMumble don't understand why are you are bringing personal issues to this. The point is it is dangerous for little ones when the sun is out to be without the hat. She forgot once, its OK we all been there. End of the day everyone decides they own parenting and if she feels it was wrong not to put hat on (which she clearly does) then next time make sure it's in the bag. Excepting when you feel like you did something wrong and you can do better is a big part of parenthood; we all struggle, cope and learn.

FFS the sun in this country is not that damn hot for people to be banging on about baby needing a hat. OP was on the fecking bus on her way to nursery, not having in a picnic in the park for hours in direct sunlight. You should have told her to PISS OFF

I don't think "banging on" about it is necessary, but in an ideal world, you'd have a hat for your baby, even if it's just to get them used to wearing one. That doesn't mean you should report someone to social services for not having one.

But, the angriest (and honestly, weirdest) posts I've seen on here have been numerous people saying they should have told this women to PISS OFF, that she's a bitch etc etc. That's odd as fuck and I can only assume this is an English thing? As where I'm from you'd just say "oh he won't wear one - we lose them all the time" or "i forgot it today, but they have spares at nursery". Not FUCK OFF YOU BITCH which just makes people sound massively unhinged...