"Primary contact" for nursery when both parents work FT

[Equalparent]

My DS will start nursery in a few months time. Despite me being on mat leave, my DH and I have very much shared parenting. DH does loads of night shifts with DS, and as DH works from home, he takes DS for his lunch break every weekday. DH also fully shares evening and weekend childcare with me.

The nursery forms indicate that we have to put one of us as the "primary" contact. We really dislike the idea of this, as we are both going to be working full time so neither of us will have more flexibility to drop everything than the other.

We're thinking that if we put me as the primary contact, then the nursery will just never contact DH and assume that I am the default parent for everything. We are thinking that if we put DH first, then it at least sends a signal that DH should be involved.

What are other people's experiences of this?

Why would they waste their time calling parent 2 when they have already spoken with parent 1. They aren't PA's.

But how can your husband contact you but school can't?

Why does it matter who they call if you’re both working from home?

you’re overthinking it.

Why would they waste their time calling parent 2 when they have already spoken with parent 1. They aren't PA's.

The poster meant if they ring one and that parent doesn't answer them they move on to ring the second parent.

Obviously if contact 1 answers then they don't ring anyone else but the faux horror from some posters that they won't disturb contact 2 if that person happens to male is just stupid. All any nursery cares about is that someone, anyone on the list is contacted and the child is being collected as quickly as possible.

Ok thanks

Just don't put your details on the form let your husband sort it.

In my experience they'll call the first number and if you don't answer in 3 rings they'll call the next number and then the next.

school is worst for this they don't give you a few seconds to excuse yourself to take the call never mind call them back, and this is not even in an emergency just a child feeling a little unwell who wants to go home. I once took 5 minutes to finish a presentation and call school back, by which time MIL was hysterical in a taxi like she was doing a life or death mission behind enemy lines.

Just do it in alphabetical order and don't worry any more about it.

Alternatively, agree with DH that you'll be the primary contact for nursery and he'll take lead responsibility for all nursery parties, including replying to invitations, buying a gift, organising the party outfit, making sure all parties are on the calendar/in diaries and attending all parties. There will be times when they will be weekly, occasionally two in one weekend. You'll get off very lightly.

Seriously though, this is fairly minor in all that's ahead of you in terms of parenting work/admin.

Ultimately one of you will need to take the lead in coordinating stuff. Doesn't mean you do everything but someone needs to make sure it's being done. Everything going to everyone isn't particularly efficient imo.
In our case, nursery usually call me and then I call dh and we agree who's day is less important. And I pick up the admin emails and we divide the tasks. Works for us because I am generally a bit more organised and have fewer meetings in my day.
They will default to the primary contact, not necessarily the mum.

OP just out of curiosity, who claims the child benefit?

@ahunf DH's text would come through to my watch. I don't have calls set up that way

Ah. I get you.