5 year old boy loves dressing up as a princess

[Klj1214]

I will start by saying that this is fully encouraged in our home, my son loves his collection of princess dresses just as much as he loves his power rangers or paw patrol toys.. My issue is a disagreement with his dad, for jubilee celebrations at school he wore his crown and elsa dress, the way he skipped into school full of joy filled my heart ❤ 5 yo came home saying a couple of his friends laughed at him so he told them to stop, he's a super happy boy and loves everyone so this kind of stuff just seems to roll off him, his dad has immediately demanded I stop letting him go to school in his dress up outfits because he doesn't want him to be bullied! My response was that other children should learn to be nicer and I won't be stopping the 5 yo from expressing himself at all. He completely disagrees and says he should only wear them inside the house 🤨. The school support children expressing themselves and I'm sure if he felt the need to go to the teacher it would have been dealt with, but he dealt with it himself. Am I in the wrong?

You are not in the wrong.
Kids can be horrible and the more children like your lovely boy who simply tell them to stop, the better.

No - his dad is wrong, 100%. If he gets bullied then you would raise that with the school and let them deal with it, but kids are generally more open minded and accepting than some adults. Let him stop when he wants to stop, and not before

You are not wrong. If people are mean demand the school deal with it and educate the class on acceptable behaviour and not making fun of other kid's clothes. You son might inspire others to express themselves :)

You are not wrong. The bullying comes from kids whose parents are reinforcing the usual prejudices at home. Parents who would be scared themselves of letting their 5 year old boys wear a princess dress to school. Tell your DH that. It's the parents that teach their children this behaviour, even if not directly.

He wasn't bullied.

A few (also very young)DC made comments and he dealt with it, and it does not seem to have bothered him in the slightest.

I'd leave it all alone

Ahh this is such a sweet age, you're totally in the right xx

I actuallly agree with your dh. Yes, he should be able to wear them anywhere, but it’s entirely predictable that some kids will laugh at it, so why make him go through that when you could easily steer him away from getting hurt.

Surely stopping him is teaching him that he needs to filter himself to appease others? The total opposite of what we should be doing, you’re definitely in the right.

There may be a time where he wants to filter himself but if he’s happy I don’t see what the problem is!

Let him dress up as a princess if it makes him happy, kids can be cruel but they're the ripe age to learn to be accepting.

You are not wrong. Let him be who he is.

This is completely normal for boys especially if they have an older sister. There's no need to make a mountain out of a molehill (like his dad)

My son thinks Elsa is a superhero who happens to be a princess. He doesn’t consider wearing his Elsa dress is any different to wearing his Spider-Man outfit. He’s 5 and dressed as Elsa for one of the nursery dress up days. Some kids tried to say it made him a girl but he knows it makes him a boy in a dress and that it’s ok.

if your son does end up with a penchant for women’s clothing or femininity , shaming him from a young age isn’t going to help him. He may be gay, he may not be gay. He may like dressing up as a woman or he may think Elsa is a hero no different to Spider-Man. Honestly doesn’t really matter as long as he’s happy with his own choices and feels like
he has control over them.

fwiw I dressed up as Spider-Man and bugs bunny at that age and I didn’t turn into either a rabbit or a man who can climb walls. Let kids be kids.

What is him "expressing himself" would be anti-social behaviour? Could he pee in the center of room? Could that be an "expression"!
Why do you think that such forms of expression are so sacred?

You are teaching him to ignore social norms and the group and to auffer the concequences all his life.

Your poor husband and child.
Sorry but it seems some "ideologies" have consumed common sense and normality in your mind.

Where did he see so many princesses at the first place and got so influenced?
Seems his mum wished for a girl maybe and now a boy should suffer?

Honestly, wearing dresses is something a lot of boys never really grow out of. Every year at our Year 13 leavers day they all dress-up as movie characters. For a great many of them it’s a great excuse to put on a dress!

So you think it’s better to pander to the bullies and upset your child for doing something completely fine and doesn’t hurt anyone?

I hope this is sarcasm. How is peeing in the middle of the room akin to wearing a completely normal item of clothing?

Anti social behaviour and peeing in the room are completely different and a ridiculous comparison.

Boys dressing up like this was happening in the 80s when I started as an eyfs teacher. It's nothing to do with ideology. Some of them did turn out to be gay. Stopping them from dressing up wouldn't have made any difference it would just have made them ashamed of it.

Oh what rot @Anneleven

"So you think it’s better to pander to the bullies and upset your child for doing something completely fine and doesn’t hurt anyone?"

@Frenchyfrog my goodness, it DOES HURT THE BOY at first place and his mother has created this situation by buying him dresses.
The child isn't even aware of the problem.

The mother is the problem!

If she wouldn't teach him how to use the loo he wouldn't understand why he is bullied for that either!

It is the reaponsibility of a parent to teach a child social norms and encourage them to follow them for their own good.

My friends son is just the same. I gave him my dd Elsa dress and wig in reception.

his dad felt exactly the same.

he is going to high school this year and nothing has changed - apart from his dads acceptance of who his son is.

school should deal with the bullies. Its not ok. He is doing nothing wrong and natural to him and so he should.

I don’t think you should to stop him, if he’s happy to wear dresses despite what his peers think. Although he may stop because he isn’t comfortable, either way I don’t think it’s worth making a big deal of. Lots of phases stop or change due to peer pressure that pretty much par for the course at that age. Just like no matter how much a 9yr old lives paw patrol at home they probably won’t broadcast it to their mates!

Also don’t think what the other children have done is bullying by any stretch!

I have a 6yo and I have yet to see a boy dress up with a dress at school or anywhere else. I really find this unbelievable. Why does he even have a dress in the first place?

@Anneleven are you actually joking or living in 1920’s? Really???!!!

welcome to 2022 where this is totally normal - because it is totally normal.

my mind is all over trying to comprehend how you have that opinion…

@Mally100 would it be okay for a girl to wear say an army dress up etc? Please explain the difference.