5 year old boy loves dressing up as a princess

[Klj1214]

I will start by saying that this is fully encouraged in our home, my son loves his collection of princess dresses just as much as he loves his power rangers or paw patrol toys.. My issue is a disagreement with his dad, for jubilee celebrations at school he wore his crown and elsa dress, the way he skipped into school full of joy filled my heart ❤ 5 yo came home saying a couple of his friends laughed at him so he told them to stop, he's a super happy boy and loves everyone so this kind of stuff just seems to roll off him, his dad has immediately demanded I stop letting him go to school in his dress up outfits because he doesn't want him to be bullied! My response was that other children should learn to be nicer and I won't be stopping the 5 yo from expressing himself at all. He completely disagrees and says he should only wear them inside the house 🤨. The school support children expressing themselves and I'm sure if he felt the need to go to the teacher it would have been dealt with, but he dealt with it himself. Am I in the wrong?

Ffs some of the replies on here are bonkers!!!!

A boy going to school in a dress is completely fine if that's what he wants to do.
Wearing a dress in dress up day doesn't mean he's going to decide he's a girl anymore than him wearing a rabbit costume is going to make him want to become a rabbit! Or dressing up as a doctor mean that they will become a doctor in later life!
If we get out of kids way and let them explore and express themselves better then perhaps we wouldn't end up with so many issues as teenagers!

"his dad has immediately demanded I stop letting him go to school in his dress up outfits because he doesn't want him to be bullied!"

What does this mean then?

What do you think it means??!

Do you think this means the child goes to school dressed as princess everyday rather than in school uniform?

@AnneLeven

You said this wasn't a 'dressing up' situation then quoted OP literally saying they're dress up outfits...

@AnneLeven I would assume he has a princess dress because they were at Asda at a time when fancy dress was out, and he said I want a sparkly dress. That's how my daughter has ended up with a witch costume, a fire fighter costume and a fairy dress.

I am very opposed to surgery and any medical treatment for children and young adults, but I believe the opposite to you. If we let children wear whatever the heck they want, within the realms of appropriate, perhaps we will see less boys feeling like they need to take hormones to grow breast tissue, because they like glitter- they can wear glitter without disowning their penis. And my daughter can wear a football kit or a lumberjack outfit without chopping her breasts off.

Clothes aren't a big deal, and sexual organs are not controlled or dictated by them.

I came back to ask question to OP after she replied. As I thought she has left the thread.

Do you have problem with it?

Now she has clarified that everyone is happy there, no one is bullied and he has plenty of different costumes.

I have no more questions and will happily leave to avoid interacting with you again. Thanks for the reminder :)

I am very opposed to surgery and any medical treatment for children and young adults, but I believe the opposite to you. If we let children wear whatever the heck they want, within the realms of appropriate, perhaps we will see less boys feeling like they need to take hormones to grow breast tissue, because they like glitter- they can wear glitter without disowning their penis. And my daughter can wear a football kit or a lumberjack outfit without chopping her breasts off. Clothes aren't a big deal, and sexual organs are not controlled or dictated by them.

Well said.

@AnneLeven you're perpetuating the very thing (the concept of gender stereotypes) that contributes to the thing you're against (young people feeling they want to opt out of their sex). It makes no sense!

No it is not. But if you read the responses, you would see that is what bloodyunicorns called me when I expressed my opinion. I was quoting them. People see what they want to see and read what they want to read. This whole discussion is based on two parents who want what is best for their son but can't agree on what that is.

@GeorgiaGirl52 - I am Bloodyunicorns. I didn't call you a anything. That was @StrychnineInTheSandwiches.

Op has thought about what she wants for her Dc. Her op is reacting like a lot of men do in this situation, without really thinking. IMO.

Her op is reacting like a lot of men do in this situation, without really thinking. IMO.

But he reacted after hearing that some of the kids laughed at him. I would be upset too and put and end to this if my child was being laughed at too.

Agree entirely with this. When my dS was five he went around a lot in his Hiccup outfit. Nobody thought that meant he was really a viking. Let them wear what they like.

@Klj1214 you rock, you are an awesome parent, the people saying otherwise are just the people where in real life you go 'okaaay' and stop hanging out with them.

things have changed from when we were in school.
i was interested to hear a boy aged about 4 in savers, when he saw some bubble bath aimed at kids. the bottle was of a pirate type character. he exclaimed excitedly, oh look, there's a boy princess !
obv the concept of princess has attained such status, no other category matched it; not sailor, or pirate or prince or king.
i found it fascinating and encouraging,

Ladies, the ones who agree with the mom how would you react if in the office environment your colleague (a man) was wearing a dress? Is it normal? Would you accept it?

I'm open minded but come on ...

I think some people (please note I say 'some') are using the GC movement as an excuse to bolster their very stringent ideas as to what is acceptable vis a vis gender norms.

e.g. the bullshit below...

'You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)'

All over a little boy deciding to wear a dress.

Unhinged.

Why would you care?

If a man wants to wear a dress let him! How is it impacting on your life in any way?

This is exactly what I mean by people hi-jacking GC ideas as a way to suppress anything they see as being outside the norm.

'I'm open minded but come on, I'd have my husband Billy Bob come on over and shoot him...'

This is exactly what I mean by people hi-jacking GC ideas as a way to suppress anything they see as being outside the norm

Surely saying men can't wear dresses is the opposite of being GC?

I agree, @IstayedForTheFeminism, But this thread has demonstrated that the people who are most vehemently anti boys in frocks also think they're GC.

My son, 4, wore an Elsa dress to school over his jeans every day last week. Then I washed it and hung it up and he hasn’t asked for it again. He thinks Elsa is amazing and his dress was a costume. I would be more concerned about how he's treated if he wanted to wear 'girl's clothes' generally - but I'd back him up every step of the way. In time he'd forget what some kids said to him but he'd never forget his mom not having his back.

This is how I would feel, if I didn't back him it would make it worse!!

Not that I have an issue with it because I don't if he wants to make believe he is a princess for the day then I am all for it

I actually agree with your DH. He is not saying don't let him wear them. Just not to school where he will be made fun of and other boys will laugh at him. They might think it funny and tell their parents. He might be invited to less boys parties or get invited to girls princess parties all the time. If you send him to school in a dress it's like setting him up to be made fun of.

Well, that would be his choice.

I agree with the PP about how people are using GC to make a (misinformed) point.

If a male colleague wants to wear a dress to work then all power to him. That doesn't impact me in any way.

It only starts to become an issue ( in my opinion) if he starts to insist that he is a woman and therefore has access to single sex spaces, is being classed as a woman for data collection purposes ( it skews data on inequalities) and if it means women can't access female only support services when needed( in cases if DV or rape for example)

Even if the social norms are silly? I mean it really is pretty silly that it is ok for girls to wear a piece of fabric with one hole for both legs but somehow shocking for a boy to do it.

I honestly cannot get outraged at the thought of a person wearing an item of clothing, providing it fits them properly.

Couldn’t care less if men wear dresses as long as they accept that they are a man and therefore use the men’s toilets. 🤷🏻‍♀️