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Original poster

5 year old boy loves dressing up as a princess

161 replies

Klj1214 · 27/05/2022 16:18

I will start by saying that this is fully encouraged in our home, my son loves his collection of princess dresses just as much as he loves his power rangers or paw patrol toys.. My issue is a disagreement with his dad, for jubilee celebrations at school he wore his crown and elsa dress, the way he skipped into school full of joy filled my heart ❤ 5 yo came home saying a couple of his friends laughed at him so he told them to stop, he's a super happy boy and loves everyone so this kind of stuff just seems to roll off him, his dad has immediately demanded I stop letting him go to school in his dress up outfits because he doesn't want him to be bullied! My response was that other children should learn to be nicer and I won't be stopping the 5 yo from expressing himself at all. He completely disagrees and says he should only wear them inside the house 🤨. The school support children expressing themselves and I'm sure if he felt the need to go to the teacher it would have been dealt with, but he dealt with it himself. Am I in the wrong?

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ofwarren · 27/05/2022 21:26

Workinghardeveryday · 27/05/2022 21:19

My friends son is just the same. I gave him my dd Elsa dress and wig in reception.

his dad felt exactly the same.

he is going to high school this year and nothing has changed - apart from his dads acceptance of who his son is.

school should deal with the bullies. Its not ok. He is doing nothing wrong and natural to him and so he should.

What "IS" he? What is his dad accepting?
I wouldn't have thought his son having a dress made him anything other than a boy who had a dressing up outfit.
Surely owning a dressing up outfit doesn't define a child in any way?

Sparro · 27/05/2022 21:27

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 20:39

What is him "expressing himself" would be anti-social behaviour? Could he pee in the center of room? Could that be an "expression"!
Why do you think that such forms of expression are so sacred?

You are teaching him to ignore social norms and the group and to auffer the concequences all his life.

Your poor husband and child.
Sorry but it seems some "ideologies" have consumed common sense and normality in your mind.

Where did he see so many princesses at the first place and got so influenced?
Seems his mum wished for a girl maybe and now a boy should suffer?

I hope you're a troll, but in case you're just thick...

Peeing in the middle of the room is unhygienic, smelly and someone has to clean it up. Wearing a dress is none of those things. It's no different than a girl wearing a dress.

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:28

@Workinghardeveryday destroying children's futures with hormone therapies are also considered "normal" nowadays.

You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

5 year olds Behaviour & development Families General parenting
Imnotahippo · 27/05/2022 21:30

My son loved ‘being a girl’ (his words) at that age
he wanted his Willy to drop off so he could be a girl-he had his princess lunch box,princess duvet set,dresses,princess wig,pink shoes etc
he loved it all
Nothing made him happier than his favourite ’dolly’ (sleeping beauty) dress and shoes
i let him crack on with it-it’s clothing at the end of the day-he knew he was a boy and that’s what he wanted to wear
he grew out of it in the end but the amount of shit I took as a parent was unreal
comments like ‘he’ll grow up gay’ (so what?) ‘he’s a boy,boys don’t wear pink’ (says who?) ‘your a shit parent’ (for allowing my son to be who he was?) ‘we’re thinking of phoning ss as this isn’t normal’ (cheers for that school nurse-take away from kids who really need ss)
he’s grown up to be a happy,healthy young man who is 100% confident in himself
the irony is,his older brother who loved anything ‘boy’ is the one who’s come out as gay about 18 months ago

sod anyone who tries to make your son feel wrong for wearing what he wants to wear

he sounds wonderful

bakewellbride · 27/05/2022 21:30

You are right op and your dh is wrong.

katienana · 27/05/2022 21:33

I'll be totally honest here I'd find it difficult if my son wanted to do this and I'd be worried they would be bullied. But this probably wouldn't come out of the blue at 5. So I'd think your dh should have been prepared for this situation.
Equally I'd come down like a ton of bricks if my ds's picked on someone because of what they were wearing.

underneaththeash · 27/05/2022 21:35

most little boys like dressing up, it's normal. I also don't think that we should impose dress norms on anyone. You can really wear what you want.
What we do need to impose is that it's impossible biologically to change sex. We do not need to confuse teens any more than they are already.

underneaththeash · 27/05/2022 21:40

I forgot to mention that the first time we went to Cinderella's castle in disney there was a fight with DD and DS2 on who wore the princess dress and DS2 lost (HNS) we bought a new dress for DS and the hosts were completely relaxed about both wearing a dress.
DS2 is now very. very embarrassed about it. We have great photos.

CaptainMyCaptain · 27/05/2022 21:43

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:28

@Workinghardeveryday destroying children's futures with hormone therapies are also considered "normal" nowadays.

You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)

Nobody has mentioned pills or surgery but I worry about children today while there are hysterical people like you around. It's a dressing up dress ffs. All items in my school dressing up box were available to boys and girls and nobody was bullied about it.

ReginaGeorgeismyname · 27/05/2022 21:47

I actually have this situation. My 5 Yr old loves princesses. He has a few dresses, I he wears them at home and we went to watch a theatre show about a princess so wore it then. There were many little girls wearing theirs at the show so I saw no issue with him wearing his.

However, I don't allow him to wear it in other places, like school, as I know it will lead to comments and make him uncomfortable rather than happy. Yes, that's society's problem but I'm with your DH here that there's no point putting him in a situation which you can predict the outcome of, knowing it will most likely lead to an upset child. Judging by the comments so far I'm sure others will slate me.

BinkyRidesForth · 27/05/2022 21:48

When I worked in primary schools, MOST little boys were more drawn to the sparkly, glittery princess dresses in the dressing up box than they were to the very mundane outfits such as doctor/ fireman/ army etc which were just trousers and a top not dissimilar to every day clothes! They tended to stop some time during KS1 but only because of what adults said in my opinion … I remember one little boy in KS2 who would still dress up in a dress at after school club if his mum was picking him up, but not if his dad was which I thought was really sad. The princess dresses are just more interesting and bright coloured, it doesn’t have to mean anything other than that (not that it matters if it does).
If you’re dressing up surely the point is that you’re pretending to be something other than yourself… I remember having a Spider-Man costume when I was little and I frequently would pretend to be an animal as well … haven’t grown up to be spider man or an animal!
As for the pp who says girls can’t dress up in army clothes, words fail me and I sincerwsly hope you’re a troll. You do know women can be in the army?!

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:48

@CaptainMyCaptain so you would encourage your son to wear a girl's dress but won't encourage "the next step" which would be logical in child's mind of changing his gender and "become a girl"?

You aren't consistent at all then. Which is confusing and cruel to a child.

Unbelievable how parents do this all to their own children. Speechless.
Happy to be hysterical about inconsistent madness.

ClinkeyMonkey · 27/05/2022 21:49

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:28

@Workinghardeveryday destroying children's futures with hormone therapies are also considered "normal" nowadays.

You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)

You seem rather confused between boys wearing dresses and trans ideology. This is a small boy who likes to dress as a princess. He's not about to take puberty blockers and have his bits chopped off. FFS.

ReginaGeorgeismyname · 27/05/2022 21:49

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:28

@Workinghardeveryday destroying children's futures with hormone therapies are also considered "normal" nowadays.

You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)

What an odd comment. What's a 5 year old wearing a dress got to do with gender reassignment.

ofwarren · 27/05/2022 21:49

ReginaGeorgeismyname · 27/05/2022 21:47

I actually have this situation. My 5 Yr old loves princesses. He has a few dresses, I he wears them at home and we went to watch a theatre show about a princess so wore it then. There were many little girls wearing theirs at the show so I saw no issue with him wearing his.

However, I don't allow him to wear it in other places, like school, as I know it will lead to comments and make him uncomfortable rather than happy. Yes, that's society's problem but I'm with your DH here that there's no point putting him in a situation which you can predict the outcome of, knowing it will most likely lead to an upset child. Judging by the comments so far I'm sure others will slate me.

I agree with you
I wouldn't purposely send mine to school knowing that the likelihood of them being picked on would be high.

ReginaGeorgeismyname · 27/05/2022 21:51

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:48

@CaptainMyCaptain so you would encourage your son to wear a girl's dress but won't encourage "the next step" which would be logical in child's mind of changing his gender and "become a girl"?

You aren't consistent at all then. Which is confusing and cruel to a child.

Unbelievable how parents do this all to their own children. Speechless.
Happy to be hysterical about inconsistent madness.

Oh sorry I see you are joking now

Workinghardeveryday · 27/05/2022 21:51

@Anneleven you sound very ‘old fashioned views’.

I really don’t think there is anything I could say to sway you/make you understand my views.

I will leave it there with you

ReginaGeorgeismyname · 27/05/2022 21:51

Workinghardeveryday · 27/05/2022 21:51

@Anneleven you sound very ‘old fashioned views’.

I really don’t think there is anything I could say to sway you/make you understand my views.

I will leave it there with you

I think they might be pulling your leg?

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 22:00

Workinghardeveryday · 27/05/2022 21:51

@Anneleven you sound very ‘old fashioned views’.

I really don’t think there is anything I could say to sway you/make you understand my views.

I will leave it there with you

Yes, as old as the difference between boys and girls :)

Their differences in brain development, physical and social differences.

Just basic science and biology. Not your invented "ideology", sorry.

wellhelloitsme · 27/05/2022 22:00

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 20:39

What is him "expressing himself" would be anti-social behaviour? Could he pee in the center of room? Could that be an "expression"!
Why do you think that such forms of expression are so sacred?

You are teaching him to ignore social norms and the group and to auffer the concequences all his life.

Your poor husband and child.
Sorry but it seems some "ideologies" have consumed common sense and normality in your mind.

Where did he see so many princesses at the first place and got so influenced?
Seems his mum wished for a girl maybe and now a boy should suffer?

What a load of absolute bullshit.

wellhelloitsme · 27/05/2022 22:03

@Anneleven

Where did he see so many princesses at the first place and got so influenced?

"So many princesses" 🙄

Won't somebody think of the children?! Being forced to look at princesses, of all things.

What are girls allowed to look at in your opinion? To make sure they stick to the nice rigid stereotypes you clearly believe in, I mean. Are girls allowed to be interested in dinosaurs and superheroes? Are boys allowed to watch Disney films with a female lead as long as they aren't princesses? Who is allowed to watch encanto - boys and girls?! Surely not!

StrychnineInTheSandwiches · 27/05/2022 22:03

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:28

@Workinghardeveryday destroying children's futures with hormone therapies are also considered "normal" nowadays.

You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)

you don't sound quite on an even keel

godmum56 · 27/05/2022 22:06

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 20:39

What is him "expressing himself" would be anti-social behaviour? Could he pee in the center of room? Could that be an "expression"!
Why do you think that such forms of expression are so sacred?

You are teaching him to ignore social norms and the group and to auffer the concequences all his life.

Your poor husband and child.
Sorry but it seems some "ideologies" have consumed common sense and normality in your mind.

Where did he see so many princesses at the first place and got so influenced?
Seems his mum wished for a girl maybe and now a boy should suffer?

wht the actual F?????

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 22:06

wellhelloitsme · 27/05/2022 22:03

@Anneleven

Where did he see so many princesses at the first place and got so influenced?

"So many princesses" 🙄

Won't somebody think of the children?! Being forced to look at princesses, of all things.

What are girls allowed to look at in your opinion? To make sure they stick to the nice rigid stereotypes you clearly believe in, I mean. Are girls allowed to be interested in dinosaurs and superheroes? Are boys allowed to watch Disney films with a female lead as long as they aren't princesses? Who is allowed to watch encanto - boys and girls?! Surely not!

I've been watching all kind of cartoons in my childhood but I've never ever identified myself with male (nor sexless) characters in any of them.

This is some astonishing failure of parenting not to explain and teach a child to recognise and identify himself with his own sex.

wellhelloitsme · 27/05/2022 22:07

Anneleven · 27/05/2022 21:28

@Workinghardeveryday destroying children's futures with hormone therapies are also considered "normal" nowadays.

You can percieve normality however you want but if someone like you will come anywhere near my children with this ideology, pills and surgical knife I will defend them like you haven't even seen in 1920! :)

You realise that the gender stereotypes you're so keen on are part of the reason kids feel obliged to have a gender identity rather than just being themselves, even if they enjoy activities / interests traditionally associated with the opposite sex?

Gender identity labels wouldn't be necessary if a young woman felt completely accepted as an individual who happens to be a woman who enjoys activities / clothing / hobbies etc traditionally associated with men. They'd just be them.

You're part of the problem you're worried about!