5 year old boy loves dressing up as a princess

[Klj1214]

I will start by saying that this is fully encouraged in our home, my son loves his collection of princess dresses just as much as he loves his power rangers or paw patrol toys.. My issue is a disagreement with his dad, for jubilee celebrations at school he wore his crown and elsa dress, the way he skipped into school full of joy filled my heart ❤ 5 yo came home saying a couple of his friends laughed at him so he told them to stop, he's a super happy boy and loves everyone so this kind of stuff just seems to roll off him, his dad has immediately demanded I stop letting him go to school in his dress up outfits because he doesn't want him to be bullied! My response was that other children should learn to be nicer and I won't be stopping the 5 yo from expressing himself at all. He completely disagrees and says he should only wear them inside the house 🤨. The school support children expressing themselves and I'm sure if he felt the need to go to the teacher it would have been dealt with, but he dealt with it himself. Am I in the wrong?

@Anneleven i have strong gender critical views but as part of that j think that we need to encourage and accept that boys can wear dresses. Saying that only females can wear dresses is what m has got us into the position where any man in a dress can now say they are a woman.

let kids be kids, let clothes be clothes. Nothing whatsoever wrong with a little boy dressing up.

I don't think that's the next logical step in anyone's mind but yours.

@Anneleven

I've been watching all kind of cartoons in my childhood but I've never ever identified myself with male (nor sexless) characters in any of them.

This is some astonishing failure of parenting not to explain and teach a child to recognise and identify himself with his own sex.

My nephew loves dressing up as Sully from Monsters Inc and play acting being him so I should probably report his parents to social services for their 'astonishing failure'.

You realise that children don't need to think they actually are a girl to dress up as a female character? Just like my nephew doesn't actually think he's a monster...

Boys being able to identify with female characters, like them, celebrate them and think they're just as cool as male characters is in fact a massive step in a positive direction.

Again, you're getting yourself mixed up. I am gender critical which is why I think that it's wrong to push kids to conform to gender stereotypes - a set of limiting, outdated tickboxes that don't account for individuality.

Seeing people not feeling forced to adhere to gender stereotypes is a positive thing that could stop people feeling they need to transition from one set of stereotypes or another, they can just be themselves.

I agree that no one should tell an adult what to wear.

But we are talking about a 5 y.o. here who is 99% is influenced by his parents attitudes towards things.

And mother who encorouges him to wear dresses and make a gender stereotype revolution at school does evil thing to her own child.

100% this, well said.

I think @Anneleven has had a kneejerk reaction to the mention of boy stuff v girls stuff without realising that making children essentially choose between two outdated, often bizarre set of stereotypes is part of the problem. A big part actually.

Stop responding to Anne. She's derailing the thread and is clearly not serious in what she's saying. No one is that bonkers. You are feeding a troll by responding

Mally100 · Today 21:22
I have a 6yo and I have yet to see a boy dress up with a dress at school or anywhere else. I really find this unbelievable. Why does he even have a dress in the first place?

Absolutely spot on.

Cancel me then :)

I won't be saying a word anymore, no worries.
Just felt pain for a 5yo boy whos mother deliberatly does it to him, without him being aware of what it's all about at all yet.

Sorry if offended someone.

@CaptainMyCaptain - fab film! Thank you for the memory.

@Anneleven - the 1850s called. They want you back...

You seem to be very confused. A 5yo boy wearing a dress is expressing himself. It won't make him gay. It won't make him trans. And there's a huge step from wearing a dress to thinking you are trans and wanting to take hormones.

At this age, let your dc be who they want to be. Let them dress up. Tell them that girls can be fire fighters and police, and boys can wear dresses. It's just a dress. Gender strides are so damaging. Girls can wear blue, play football, not like makeup - and they are still girls. Boys can do ballet, like drawing, like pink - and they are still boys.

Stereotypes, not strides

Agree with this.

Sending a boy to school in a dress was cruel and stupid.

I have two sons who are mainly into "typical" boys' things (although eldest will always opt for pink over blue and loved me painting his nails) so we don't own any children's dresses. However, I have definitely seen boys in dress up dresses at playgroups and should hope that no stops boys from wearing dresses at nursery etc either. So maybe unbelievable to you, but not necessarily unrealistic.

Mine was always fond of a dress. My favourite photo is of him wearing a princess dress riding around on a toy motor bike as it just summed him up completely.
He still likes silky clothes now so I think it was the feel of the fabric as much as the look of it.
i must say though-rightly or wrongly I would have steered him away from wearing one for a whole day at school. Different when it’s an hour or so playing with the dressing up clothes.

His 'friends' need to learn how to be nice to each other. There is absolutely nothing wrong with him dressing up like characters he likes. Never limit imagination.

What a horrible ideology you live in, where everyone has to conform and fit in with your narrow expectations. Where do minorities fit in - gay people? Disabled people? Are they acceptable in your eyes?

My DS did this with his sister at that age, and it's had no affect on him at all as an adult. Let him play what he wants.

DS went though a long phase of liking pink and purple up to age about 5 so he had some fairly 'girly' stuff.

I explained to him that some people think some colors are more for girls so he might get some comments, but that I think that view is wrong and silly and as long as he's aware of the possible social fallout he should wear what he likes.

I think I would do the same for a dress though I would be worried about the social consequences for him. However it sounds like your DS is not actually having any real problems do I don't see where the issue is.

Sadly DS has changed his favorite color to red now which I strongly suspect is due to gender stereotype pressure from peers.

Going back to the OP, I don’t think it is unusual for dads to be more wary of this because they may have been exposed to worse “banter” (aka homophobic comments/bullying, etc) over the years and will want to protect their kids. Another stereotype, I know, but men often hear worse stuff than women.

I agree with all the posters who say that kids should be able to express themselves freely and not be tied to gender stereotypes BUT I would also instinctively want to protect my 5yo from any bullying. Tough one.

I carefully read all the replies because while my children are grown and set in their gender "choice" I know my grandchildren will face this madness.
-- Why buy a 5-year-old boy a princess dress?
-- If he wanted to be Donald Duck would you send him to school in a sailor shirt and hat with no pants?
-- Dressing a girl as a G.I. or an astronaut is not the same. Those are careers that a girl can aspire to
-- Anneleven is not bonkers. She is a traditionalist. Many of us are. We are just silenced by the "Woke" mob. For now.

Why buy a 5-year-old boy a princess dress?
Because he wants one and a boy wearing a dress harms no one.

If he wanted to be Donald Duck would you send him to school in a sailor shirt and hat with no pants?
Well no. Because being naked in public isn't appropriate.

Anneleven is not bonkers. She is a traditionalist. Many of us are. We are just silenced by the "Woke" mob. For now.
Ignoring gender stereotypes like "boys can't wear dresses" isn't being "woke"

That isn't a logical next step at all. In over 30 years of teaching young children I have never known that to happen. Also, I no more 'encouraged' boys to wear dresses than for girls to wear spiderman costumes. It was their free and innocent choice.

I feel sorry for you and any children you come into contact with. I find your views truly frightening if you want to see a world where anything other than your perceived norms are to be stamped on.

She is a traditionalist. Many of us are. We are just silenced by the "Woke" mob. For now.

'I'm being silenced!' squeaks the idiot who's freely posting her opinions.

We're really being treated to the brightest sparks this evening.

I completely agree with you.

@GeorgiaGirl52 - why do you have such a narrow idea of what boys and girls must do, wear and like?

They can wear anything they like. Girls can wear jeans, boys can wear pink. It's really damaging to perpetuate such narrow gender stereotypes.