Who do I choose? Screaming newborn or screaming toddler at bedtime?

[disappearie]

I have a 1 week old son and a 2 year old daughter. My partner goes to yoga at night so I’m in charge of bedtime for both. Have been having a go at it for the last two nights and I’m in tears each night because I’m failing.

My newborn is incredibly unsettled in the evenings which is completely normal. My toddler has been on a great schedule which I have worked so hard on.

Last night I gave up on putting her to bed because I didn’t want to let my newborn scream. Tonight I let the newborn fuss while I did the toddler and because I had to try and do her bedtime quickly, she is now screaming out for cuddles.

I can’t handle both screaming but clearly I need to pick one. I feel so horrible for letting the newborn fuss and cry, and for letting my newborn cry emotionally for cuddles.

Who do I prioritise? I honestly feel like such a failure.

That is great!

Absolutely love a positive update like this! Extremely pleased it’s been resolved, OP: well done. Hope it continues to go smoothly.

That's great! I found those newborn / toddler days so so tough, but you sound very cheery!

Hope it keeps on the up x

I'm not reading the OP's updates quite as positively as everyone else... OP, is all the stuff brought up in your fight resolved? Or is the yoga timing the one thing that has changed?

I agree with you and wonder the same things

Your partner is the issue here, he can do a shorter yoga at home if he's really that into it but honestly he needs to get the fuck over himself and prioritise his family

I thought it was going to be positive him doing earlier yoga but he went back to doing his regular thing tonight. He’s also mistaken me leaving the newborn to scream and getting my toddler down for bedtime as a success. So under the guise of us getting a bathroom renovation done next week I’m taking both children to my parents and not coming back for some weeks. DH will be fine I imagine with unfettered access to yoga and a house to himself.

Will come back when either the newborn can sleep in a cot (he currently won’t be put down or sleep on his own) or he figures out why I’m not coming back.

fuck this shit.

Sorry to hear it didn't work out for long .... or at all by the sounds of it I hope that you get the support that you need at your parents.
Will be interested to hear how he goes on his own!

A few weeks with no babies in the house, unbroken sleep and as much yoga as he wants sounds like absolute paradise. So he’ll probably love it.

Sorry your husband is a selfish useless twat OP. I'd get rid if I were you. Hope you're ok x