Not wanting to send DC to nursery?

[ctd11]

My sons 10 months. I don't work, my partner does and my partner is happy for me not to go back to work (yet) as we are planning another DC In a year or so. Obviously I won't need childcare as I'm at home but I do like the idea or my DC socialising and having friends etc. I'm quite an old fashioned mum, I don't want to send him to nursery as I feel that's my job to be there for him and I'm lucky to be able to not go back to work (my opinions only not meaning to offend anyone! As I know some people have no choice)

What age is best to send them to nursery? He still needs me to get him to sleep etc and realistically I wouldn't want to send him until he can talk and communicate his needs. anyone else been the same? I mean I could send him for 2 days a week so he still socialises etc?

I don't know what I'm asking really, what's everyone's thoughts? Anyone been in the same position?

Thanks x

Get married asap. Never be a SAHP without marriage. You can do a registry job and have a big wedding later if needed.

Now back to childcare. Don't send him if you don't want to. If you're planning another child though I'd send him a couple of days a week once you get pregnant and keep him there while the baby is little.

It will help you as you can use those days to focus on the new baby and do baby groups / classes with them. It will help him as he'll get a variety of activities that you might not be able to do with the baby. It will also give him a bit of 'big boy time' and attention.

FWIW I'm a SAHP and used nursery for my eldest before starting preschool at 2.5 years. Youngest also did nursery from 1 (then a big gap due to covid) until she started preschool. It was good for all of us.

Little one’s don’t don’t need to socialise with other children until they’re around 2 years old. Your 10 month old will get absolutely no benefit from nursery. You, however, might benefit from socialising with other parents at playgroups etc.

DC1 went at 13 months as I went back to work.

DC2 has never been (shes 2 now) and won’t until school nursery at 3.5. Between my mat leave with her and DC3 I only had 3 months at work (I started my mat leave for DC3 straight after the summer holidays) so we just juggled childcare between us.

DC3 will when I go back to work, which I’m planning for when he’s 3.

They don’t need nursery, so I wouldn’t bother. Just take them to playgroups and the park/soft play when they’re a bit older and they’ll run about with other kids.

Yes, in the worst months- I work in a school so luckily have a term time only place for my baby at nursery. In the longest month with no school holidays the bill was £802 which was £650ish with the government too up (the price I posted here). In a shorter school month eg April with the Easter holidays it was less. I can’t imagine voluntarily paying that while having no income. The price is nuts. I only do it so I can work. And as I say, that’s not even a full time place- I’m lucky to have grandparents helping in the week too.

If you don't have to then don't. Children who go to nursery from 6 months and children who don't go until 3 years are both equally fine, and will not miss out on anything. Go to baby/toddler groups and if you're happy and the child is content, then that's wonderful!

10 months is very young to be socialising with other children anyway but as he gets older you can let him play with other children outside of nursery.

Do you have friends or family with children or go to any mum groups? My son is a few months younger than yours but I meet up with friends with children a couple times a week and their kids interact and play together. My son is happy just to sit on my lap and watch them for now.

I plan to send him to preschool at 3 years old. I have nothing against nursery but am very fortunate to have my parents minding him.

I am quite happy to say that some statements are offensive, and are not mitigated by the phrase “not wanting to offend anyone”, without it having any bearing on my own situation or being personally offended

a mother of a 10mo choosing not to send her child to nursery when she has a free choice either way (not dictated by work or finances) is completely normal and uncontroversial. You aren’t required to have an opinion on what anyone else does. Be confident in your choice.

Don't send him. Children that age are happier being at home than nursery and evolutionary point of view they just want you.

Babies don't need socializing ! My DD didn't go to nursery until 2.5-3 shes now nearly 9 and was sat playing in the garden with 5 friends.

I wouldn’t send my DS until at least 2 if I had the choice as I just treasured being with him when so little. Unfortunately for us our financial situation changed and I need to go back to work so I put him in early to get him used to it. That being said he loves nursery. I know people say they don’t get anything out of it until they are at least 2 but my sons speech and fine motor skills have come on tremendously since he’s been going, and he really does love the other children so I definitely think he gets something from it.

My 7 year old started nursery at 3 august born and and I think he started in the November and then started school in the September following i think that was the right choice for us.