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Original poster

Would you leave your 8 year old DS in the library reading while you went to the shop?

251 replies

LittleSleighBellasRinging · 30/12/2007 17:41

This was the dilemma which faced me yesterday. I needed to go and get some milk because we were running out, he really didn't want to come and suggested that I leave him in the library reading. He insisted he wouldn't talk to any strangers, he wouldn't go off with anyone, and he wouldn't leave the building unless it was a fire alarm and he stayed with the library workers.

I considered it very very seriously and nearly let him, but in the end I was too scared. Was I wrong? I think I probably was, I think at 8 years old he is old enough to be left in that kind of environment, but I just couldn't bring myself to cut the apron strings. I would have been about twenty minutes to half an hour.

So. Am I a responsible parent or a suffocating neurotic risk-averse idiot? When and how should I allow him to do this? What do you think?

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colditz · 31/12/2007 12:19

But for Christ's Sake! A library is not a nursery, an eight year old is not a 2 year old, a librarian is not a nursery nurse, and the analogy just does not stand! I wouldn't expect a librarian to be CRB checked, as they are not child care professionals. If my child approached a librarian, or shop assistant, or life guard etc, and said "That man is bothering me and touched me" I would expect that adult to call the police. If a random child knocked on my door and said "A man just flashed me" I would call the police.

The point of leaving a child in a library is NOT for free childcare, it is for somewhere safe (as in not a crack den) and warm for an older child to take care of himself.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 31/12/2007 12:26

well no i wouldnt expect library staff to be crb checked

but i would happily let a child say be upstairs in Boots while i was downstairs if i had confidence in the child

baby steps you just gradually let them do more stuff

and people with mental health issues are generally more scared themselves than dangerous to others ..i really don t think that is an issue

revgreen · 31/12/2007 12:27

I wouldn't be at all suprised that librarians are not crb checked. I would be suprised that a librarian felt the same level of responsibility for an 8yo reading by himself in a library as a nursery nurse would feel for a toddler they are employed to look after.

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ilovealancarr · 31/12/2007 12:29

Colditz
We have had a problem in the past with adults leaving their children/families for hours and it does sometimes feel as if we are childcarers and of course we keep an eye on them.
All I'm saying is some parents do see the library as free childcare and we are not childcarers.

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:30

we all have to be crb checked now in my county - this is for working with children, story times and baby bounce and rhyme etc

OrmIrian · 31/12/2007 12:30

DS#1 at 10 yes but not at 8.
DD at 8 yes and would have done happily for quite a few years before that if I didn't think I'd be judged . She is infinitely more sensible than her mother.
DS#2 ? F me no! And probably not until he's about 18 either. He's a blody liability and I can't see that changing anyday soon....

OrmIrian · 31/12/2007 12:31

And I wouldn't expect anyone to look after them in those circs. They would look after themselves for the brief time I'd leave them.

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:31

"The point of leaving a child in a library is NOT for free childcare, it is for somewhere safe (as in not a crack den) "

again it depends where the library is

people use drugs in the library where I work

we have to call the police time and time again to remove them

oxocube · 31/12/2007 12:32

Probably, yes

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 31/12/2007 12:32

children should be in a library and learning to use it responsibly

if parents are in some way seen as abusing the system then the librarians need to speak to them unless of course there is no real problem with children spending hours in a library

when i had a toy shop a few parents left their children in there while they had a haircut next door lol

Swedes2Turnips1 · 31/12/2007 12:33

Rather than it depending on the library, I think it depends on the 8 year old.

ilovealancarr · 31/12/2007 12:34

Dooley. We do all of those things but are not CRB checked (yet).

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:36

and Janni I must take issue with this;

"It is for the library staff to ensure that the library is a safe, unthreatening place for all its users and if people are behaving inappropriately they must be told to leave or the police called immediately."

So in my library that is often single staffed, when I have to go down to the store to get a newspaper from 2 years ago because an old dear wants to look up an obituary.... I cannot possibly call the police immediately because there is someone suspicious in the children's library.
Don't forget that libraries are subject to local government funding - staff are constantly being cut. the queue on a Saturday morning is often 10 people long.... we don't walk around the library all day with nothing to do but look out for suspicious people

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:36

ilovealancarr - yes so did we! the crb checks have only just started over the last few months

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 31/12/2007 12:37

your library must be tiny dooley if it only has one staff member ive been in mobile library vans with two staff

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 31/12/2007 12:38

perhaps it would be easier if you had no clients at all lol

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:39

there are 2 staff
when one of us has a day off then the other is on there own
we have another library that is permamnently single staffed
the mobile has 2 staff - one is a driver

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:40

'perhaps it would be easier if you had no clients at all lol '

eh?

pinetreedog · 31/12/2007 12:41

lol @ colditz

My library is very safe, that's why I'd do it

ilovealancarr · 31/12/2007 12:42

Oh bloody hell Santa, is that how I'm coming across? Don't mean to.
Just giving you an insight into some of the situations we sometimes face. Even if I am diverting slightly.

ooohhh I love my job !!!!!

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 31/12/2007 12:45

babe

dooley1 · 31/12/2007 12:45

sorry am ranting away like a good 'un

redadmiral · 31/12/2007 12:55

[Reminder to self; Do not post on Mumsnet when suffering from PMT.]

Aplogies for the slightly hysterical sounding posts about our local homeless population, although they can make life difficult sometimes due to the reasons given above. On reflection, they are not actually the reason I wouldn't leave my 8yr old at our local library.

The reason I wouldn't leave her is because she hasn't yet done the walk to and from the library on her own, so in the library she is effectively a dependent child, and I wouldn't feel ok leaving her there unless I was to alert someone that she was there, which would feel like I was imposing on the staff.

SantaBabyBeenAnAwfulGoodGirl · 31/12/2007 12:58

from a risk assessment point of view i think a library is probably safer than a swimming pool or gym club or a skate park

ByTheSea · 31/12/2007 13:12

I would definitely leave my very sensible, book-loving 8-year-old DD at the library for this length of time. I wouldn't have left either of my DSs at the same age. It really depends on the particular child.