Help! Don't understand how toddler can do a full day out without a pushchair

[Rosebud1302]

Hi all,

I have a real internal conflict in my head about the whole pushchair situation. I know, silly thing to worry about in the grand scheme of life but I'm struggling with it.

My son is nearly 3 and a half. Now obviously for shorter trips he walks, goes on his bike etc. That is all fine. But I am really struggling with how he is meant to cope with full days out without it. He simply won't manage walking all day. I know this for a fact! I mean, I even struggle as an adult but I don't understand what that transition period is between being young enough to have a pushchair and being old enough to cope with a full day out is?

When I say full days out I mean a visit to a city using trains/buses to get there and back, walking round visiting place, then getting home and walking from the station to home. Or a full day at the zoo which again will mean public transport, a walk to and from home and walking round a zoo.

I just don't understand how he will manage that but also I feel like everyone will judge me if I bring a pushchair. I don't have a younger child so there isn't a buggy board etc.

Can anyone let me know what they did for full days out when their kids were his age? Carrying him isn't an option for more than a few minutes due to a bad back. I also don't want to just not go out with him because I adore taking him out and he loves it too. But the tired tantrums if I made him walk all day wouldn't be fun!

Thank you :)

@ReggaetonLente

*And in other countries, like France/Hungary/Japan (those are the ones I've personal experience of), I'm told here that people carry their 3-4 year olds around in a slinggrin! As if grin*

I live in Tokyo and walked home from preschool with my 3.5yo on my back in a sling today... I walked with my friend who also had her 3yo on a sling, on her front!

I promise, we're not lying!

@reggaetonlente

I believe you!
But are you local?

Why is it only the British do this in Europe?? And definitely different to locals in Japan!
It's so unusual!

Christ kids are so lazy! Why do parents pander to them so much? A 3 year old in a pushchair??? Wtf?!!!We ditched the pushchair when my DS was 6 months old. He was perfectly capable of bum shuffling to the local shops and back at that age. By the time he was 9 months old he’d learned to crawl, so we were able to go slightly further afield ( we made it to the park a mile and a half away once before his little knees started bleeding!) At 11 months he learned to walk, so was able to come with me to take his elder siblings to their school 3 miles away. We did have to leave an hour and a half earlier, due to his shorter legs and him keep wandering off in different directions but it was fine, we got there in the end. At two years old he was doing the school run with me then walking a further 2 miles to play group. By the time he got to play group it was nearly over and admittedly he was usually a bit tired so he’d find a little quiet corner to sit and rest in for 20 minutes and then it was time for the 5 mile walk home. Long days out to the zoo etc were fine, so long as I took earplugs to block out the sound of him moaning that his legs were aching, his feet were bleeding blah blah blah. My son is now a strapping 20 year old who I admit can be quite lazy at times, but it’s fine because I found a heavy duty sling online that I can pop him into to take him to work. Luckily all he ever does at weekends is play PlayStation, so there’s not much in the way of day trips out for us anymore, but if need be I just bring a bottle of water and a box of painkillers with me ( the sling has a handy wee pocket they fit into) for my back and top up with them as we go. So you see there are always other ways OP, always.

*@reggaetonlente

I believe you!
But are you local?

Why is it only the British do this in Europe?? And definitely different to locals in Japan!
It's so unusual!*

I'm not, but my friend is. I only do it because I copied my mamatomo 🤣 loads and loads of local Japanese women do this. Mainly because Tokyo metro can be difficult with a buggy - not many elevators- and we use mamachari or electric bikes to get around, which aren't allowed inside some parks or shopping areas, which can be very big! I wouldn't carry her for hours or anything.

make your decision however you like, but I hope you decide not to make it based on "who will judge you"

If they aren't offering to chivvy your child home, and you aren't asking them to push, then they have no right to judge that your child is still using a buggy !

My kids were still getting pushchair lifts after age 5; friend with 7 kids had some in pushchair until past age 5 -- she didn't drive & the LOs had to walk 6 miles/day otherwise.

I've been on walks with ppl who insist their little kids are great fast walkers never need a pushchair -- friends had to pick the child up & carry them pretty quickly. Friends don't walk as much as we do.

i see a lot of little kids being encouraged with sweets -- that's how I see many pushchair-less parents manage.

What I find funny is there was another recent thread with an OP who wanted her DH to drive her to the station only 15 mins walk away and the majority of posters seemed to think an adult wanting to drive or be driven that distance was perfectly reasonable! On this thread there are 2-3 year olds being called lazy for not doing it

In a world where we are fast approaching a point where the damage cannot be undone, we all need to think about our car use.

The question shouldn’t be - “can I do this day out without a buggy” but “can I do this day out without a car”.

Using a buggy instead of a car should never be judged. Using a car should be judged.

@Mumoftwoinprimary

In a world where we are fast approaching a point where the damage cannot be undone, we all need to think about our car use.

The question shouldn’t be - “can I do this day out without a buggy” but “can I do this day out without a car”.

Using a buggy instead of a car should never be judged. Using a car should be judged.

Well said!

Yes we'll said! I had a 2yo who hadn't learned to walk (because she was hypermobile) and no car, so I'm not quite sure what we were supposed to do? Stay home?

@Changechangychange

So your toddler will walk a mile to a train station, stand on the train, transfer onto a bus/underground, spend the day looking around museums or a zoo, do the journey in reverse and walk the mile home from the station?

Or would they get in the car and ride to the museum?

OP is talking about a 3.5 year old, not a toddler, and yes mine was regularly walking 10K on days out at that age. He was also walking a mile to and from nursery every day from age 2.5, so was used to it. We don’t own a car.

Use a pushchair for as long as you want to, but I’m not sure why the pushchair fans think the rest of us are lying.

I don't think anyone is lying (although I do think the ones who didn't have a buggy at 18 months must be missing out a lot of relevant info like how much they carried them), but i do think the failure to understand kids develop at different rates is odd.

My kids were slow walking but advanced reading. I don't feel the need to go on threads about what support a child needs for reading to say I don't understand why they would need support as my kids were reading books independently by that age, I know that's irrelevant. So why are people horrified that some children, with much shorter legs than adults and who may have only been walking for 2 years or less, need some support or adjustments to cope with a whole day of keeping up with adults.

Yes if OP said she never let her child out of the buggy or made them walk anywhere I would be worried, but that's not what she's saying. Its entirely appropriate to gradually phase out the buggy with longer trips out being the last things you still use them for. What age it stops is naturally going to vary depending both on the child and circumstances, just like everything else about child development does.

PinkSyCo

Christ kids are so lazy! Why do parents pander to them so much? A 3 year old in a pushchair??? Wtf?!!!We ditched the pushchair when my DS was 6 months old. He was perfectly capable of bum shuffling to the local shops and back at that age. By the time he was 9 months old he’d learned to crawl, so we were able to go slightly further afield ( we made it to the park a mile and a half away once before his little knees started bleeding!) At 11 months he learned to walk, so was able to come with me to take his elder siblings to their school 3 miles away. We did have to leave an hour and a half earlier, due to his shorter legs and him keep wandering off in different directions but it was fine, we got there in the end. At two years old he was doing the school run with me then walking a further 2 miles to play group. By the time he got to play group it was nearly over and admittedly he was usually a bit tired so he’d find a little quiet corner to sit and rest in for 20 minutes and then it was time for the 5 mile walk home. Long days out to the zoo etc were fine, so long as I took earplugs to block out the sound of him moaning that his legs were aching, his feet were bleeding blah blah blah. My son is now a strapping 20 year old who I admit can be quite lazy at times, but it’s fine because I found a heavy duty sling online that I can pop him into to take him to work. Luckily all he ever does at weekends is play PlayStation, so there’s not much in the way of day trips out for us anymore, but if need be I just bring a bottle of water and a box of painkillers with me ( the sling has a handy wee pocket they fit into) for my back and top up with them as we go. So you see there are always other ways OP, always.“

What’s wrong with you?
Ours could roll at 6 months. Most pavements are fairly smooth and if they’re not downhill, just take a broom.

Do what works for you. Mine have been right lazy bones and terrible walkers. I actually love walking so I use the buggy a lot for my almost three year old as it makes things so much easier dashing about doing errands. More and more these days she prefers to walk along side me .

It's about adjusting your expectations. When they're in the pushchair you go as fast as you plan to walk. Without the pushchair it's as fast as they plan to walk.

Fwiw my youngest was walking a good 2m a day when he was 2. At 3 he could do 3.5m but was exhausted. You just take it slow.

I do miss the pushchair for carrying all my crap in! If you go to the city get yourself a trolley on wheels. My kids love pushing/pulling it along and it means my hands are free

We just used a push chair. We walk a lot.

I even bought a replacement one quite late on because I knew I would use it on holidays and long day trips at age four and five. Of course they were walking most of the time but especially at the end of a tiring day a buggy is really useful.

And at the age of 1 my youngest was cycling on the school run. True but also irrelevant 😆
And I still can’t remember when any of them stopped using a pushchair…

Take a small folding pushchair on days out if you want to- why not?

Otherwise, allow extra time, take plenty of snacks and build in natural rest breaks (such as sitting on a train, snack on a bench etc). You might be surprised how far 3-4 year olds are capable of walking, if they do it regularly.

Yes I have a car - we're farmers and the closest village is 4 miles away, the nearest supermarket is 16 miles.

But then I'm not using public transport solely for the purpose of commercial days out at the zoo or dragging my children around primark and the likes in the name of enjoyment.

We live on a farm - 99% of it isn't pushchair friendly so my children have had to walk - we check the sheep on foot and I can only carry the little one in the backpack carrier, days out for us are quality time outside rather than consumerism.

Yes, I have a car but I can guarantee I live more sustainably than most of the people who use public transport for absolute non events like propping up zoos and other non events. I shop in the local independent butchers and bakers and for what it's worth my children haven't suffered for not being endless pushed around the paved streets of suburban hell.

You must be terribly proud @horsesanddrywhitewine

Yes, I have a car but I can guarantee I live more sustainably than most of the people who use public transport for absolute non events like propping up zoos and other non events. I shop in the local independent butchers and bakers and for what it's worth my children haven't suffered for not being endless pushed around the paved streets of suburban hell.“

Some people have no choice about where they live. Are you always so superior?

Dd hasn't been in a pushchair since she turned 2, she just didn't want to go in it. Kids have SO much energy and your dc will get used to the walking very quickly

God that horses is sanctimonious! Why does it matter to you if someone else uses a pushchair? You get on with your life, don't use a pushchair if you don't want to, and let everyone else get on with theirs.

well that went in a weird direction.

@Babyvenusplant

Dd hasn't been in a pushchair since she turned 2, she just didn't want to go in it. Kids have SO much energy and your dc will get used to the walking very quickly

I’m sure the OP is relieved that you’ve solved her conundrum so breezily. The old “children have so much energy” - they do, until suddenly they don’t, and you have a long way to go.

Unfathomable judgemental types on here talking a load of crap. I used to get teased on every school run morning by a dad for having my three year old in a buggy when he drove his kid less than a mile to school every single day (always, always late as there is nowhere to park). OP, do what you need to do and sod what anyone thinks. There is no prize to be had for not taking a portable seat out with you. That’s all it is. A seat on wheels. My youngest walks everywhere with me everyday - he is nearly four and a half and does about four miles a day. We don’t drive - so if he’s feeling poorly and I need to get my eldest to school, I’d love suggestions for solutions to the 1 mile plus walk we have to do every day, each way. Ah yes. A buggy. Works for me and I have no plans at all to ditch it until he starts school.

My twi year old had loads of energy and walked very well. We still used a buggy on and off for two years after.
Sadly I can't afford a farm..

I do not get the judgement on push chairs. It's a form of snobby superiority for many I'm beginning to think.