Help! Don't understand how toddler can do a full day out without a pushchair

[Rosebud1302]

Hi all,

I have a real internal conflict in my head about the whole pushchair situation. I know, silly thing to worry about in the grand scheme of life but I'm struggling with it.

My son is nearly 3 and a half. Now obviously for shorter trips he walks, goes on his bike etc. That is all fine. But I am really struggling with how he is meant to cope with full days out without it. He simply won't manage walking all day. I know this for a fact! I mean, I even struggle as an adult but I don't understand what that transition period is between being young enough to have a pushchair and being old enough to cope with a full day out is?

When I say full days out I mean a visit to a city using trains/buses to get there and back, walking round visiting place, then getting home and walking from the station to home. Or a full day at the zoo which again will mean public transport, a walk to and from home and walking round a zoo.

I just don't understand how he will manage that but also I feel like everyone will judge me if I bring a pushchair. I don't have a younger child so there isn't a buggy board etc.

Can anyone let me know what they did for full days out when their kids were his age? Carrying him isn't an option for more than a few minutes due to a bad back. I also don't want to just not go out with him because I adore taking him out and he loves it too. But the tired tantrums if I made him walk all day wouldn't be fun!

Thank you :)

@user1477391263

Oh, have we had someone saying "Use a scooter!" yet?

Few 3yos have the coordination to use a scooter safely or for long periods of time. I saw a child almost hit by a car the other day when their scooter shot to the edge of the curb and the child flew over the handlebars and landed half in, half out of the road, with her feet tangled up in the handlebars of the scooter so she was unable to move. It was extremely scary.

Of course, the most likely outcome is that they will scoot for five minutes, get bored and refuse to do it any more, and then you will spend the rest of the day carrying a scooter round AND trying to get a 3yo to walk alongside you at the same time.

Like anything, it's just practice - a 3 year old won't be brilliant on a scooter the first time you use it, just like they won't suddenly walk 6 miles the first time you take them out of the buggy. The parent has to be aware of safety too, by keeping the child scooting next to them by the road. The big benefit of the scooter is that when the child is tired of scooting, they just stand on it and you pull it along. You don't have to carry the scooter.

they just stand on it and you pull it along. You don't have to carry the scooter.

Pulling something along behind you (rather than just walking and pushing it) and trying to make sure your child stays balanced sounds.... hard work, especially if you have stuff to carry in your arms and hands at the same time (because you can't dump them on a scooter), and especially if living somewhere where the pavements are not REALLY smooth, broad, even and spacious. Where I live, you would be hobbling backwards trying to tug and yank and maneuver the scooter over every uneven bit of tarmac, around obstacles and around people.

I mean, do it if it works for you, but personally I just find it easier to take a stroller with me on a full day out. I stopped with eldest around her 4th birthday and will do so with this one too. At 2 and 3 they were not sitting in it more than a small % of the time. But it meant I had somewhere to strap them in if they were flailing around being a complete monkey and we had an appointment to get to or a train to catch. And a place for them to sit now and then when tired. By 4, they did not need this any more, and were capable of carrying their own water bottle and other items in a rucksack, so there was no longer the same need to dump items on the pram.

I would say the opposite to you @Bonheurdupasse.
I've lived in Spain and Portugal. What i noticed were large children- 3/4/5/6 all in buggies being pushed to the park. Quite a few still using dummies and even a few drinking out of bottles.

Also they weren't out in the daytime, out early to the park as no one has gardens then back before nap/lunch but none out and about around town during the day.

I was there with my 1 year old so spending plenty of time in parks and chatting to a few of the mums who all said they don't really go out other than the park or to fanily/friends houses so you wouldn't really see them around.

Scooters are unsuitable for use by toddlers in busy urban areas. I would never let my DS use a scooter in most tourist spots in central London (unless we're in a park that isn't very busy).

I find it quite outstanding that I’ll be the one judged for turning up with a 3 year old in a buggy, having walked for miles (in all weather) and having maybe used public transport, by people who’ve arrived with their children in their heated, comfortable, polluting cars.

Yes I remember getting a face and an “oh little Ermintrude wouldn’t go in a buggy at ALL since turning 2!” once at nursery pickup, where I was putting mine in a buggy for the walk home, and Ermintrude’s mother was… walking Ermintrude approx 15 yards to their parked car.

I don’t think she meant to be judgy really, she just hadn’t quite thought it through. Like the people who say “oh we walk MILES with our 2-year-olds” but only ever do walking as a leisure activity, and can’t see the difference between a woodland walk or an amble round the zoo (pootle about doing toddler things, run around in circles, flop on the floor by the penguins and refuse to move without a rest and/or a chocolate bar) and walking as a mode of transport - like when you’re leaving the zoo and it’s a mile walk to the station and there’s one train an hour.

I took a buggy out for my twins until they were about 4 on day trips.. carrying 2 over tired screaming pre schoolers one under each arm, as leaving one on the floor screaming while you take the first to the car park is frowned on, who drew tantrum strength from each other, is something you only try a few times.

On big days out like this I always took the pram its handy to have hook bags on it let dc hop in and out if they're feeling tired and after a busy day guaranteed they will be knackered on the way home. Leg people judge its nome of there business I stopped using it when dd stopped hoping in and out off it so around age 4.

Just take the buggy. It is totally different if you drive everywhere and those parents just don't get it

Just take the buggy! For long long day trips I still take the buggy for mym3.5 year old or quite frankly she ends up very overtired and up on daddy's shoulders.
Just 'listen' to your individual child. Yes MN seems to have lots that insist their child from 18 months never needed a buggy and walked miles.... but every child is different with sleeping / eating / talking / tantrums. My child's ''weakness'' was stamina when walking around for hours all day. We would all have a much better family day out if they could use the buggy towards the end of the day.

Mine was nearly 5 by the time I stopped. I never worried about what other people thought. In fact in those long and distant days no one would have dreamt of even thinking about it. We just did what we wanted, it seems hard work nowadays having children, everyone is constantly worried about other peoples opinions.

I would imagine I will definitely still use a buggy at that age I would not care who judged either ,there meant to last till age 4 anyway aren’t they? My child is 3 in 2 months time and would no way walk all day without asking for a carry which I’m not doing as he’s too heavy. Or he won’t hold my hand near the road and will not wear reigns anymore so I have to force him into the buggy while he is having a meltdown …great fun 🙈 but no way could I carry him for ages at 38lbs which is what I’d have to do without a buggy.

We used it until the youngest was a bit over 4. No car. We walked miles and miles. Eldest is hypermobile and didn't walk at all until 2. They took a long time to walk any distance and both kids often napped until they were 4.

Just use it. It's very useful for stashing the coats and lunches (I could give a 4yo a piggyback but not also carry all the stuff we needed for a day out).

Absolutely depends on the child. My DS could do a full day without a buggy at 3, but many of his friends were being dropped off at primary school by buggy at 4 when they were in reception.

Work out what works for you. Skills and stamina develop at different rates.

@ChocolateMassacre

Scooters are unsuitable for use by toddlers in busy urban areas. I would never let my DS use a scooter in most tourist spots in central London (unless we're in a park that isn't very busy).

Depends on the child. Two year old, no. Four year old, scooter or bike. We live in London, everyone at DS’s primary school either scoots, rides a bike, or walks. Preschool starts from 3. I don’t see any pushchairs.

Would I let a two year old scoot independently down Oxford Street, knocking shoppers flying? Of course not. Would I pull one along on a scooter, under my direct control? Yes, I have done so many times. DS4 is now big enough to walk though, so we no longer need to.

Obviously you have to know your own child, and DS has never been a bolter - I’d probably feel differently if he was.

Just take the stroller , don't worry about what anyone thinks ! My son has sn and I had a buggy until he was 7. I only ever had a few comments . Most people won't care! Toddlers are buggery heavy to carry and you don't want to be doing that . Put your bag in it and don't encourage him to get in it but it's there if he needs it .

People are talking about not seeing pre school pupils in buggies on the school run but OP isn't talking about the school run she's talking about a long day out.

@Simplelobsterhat

People are talking about not seeing pre school pupils in buggies on the school run but OP isn't talking about the school run she's talking about a long day out.

A previous poster said she didn’t think it was safe to use a scooter in London - I was replying to her to say that plenty of people do.

Thank you so much for all of your replies, I have read them all and the vast majority have made me feel a lot better.

We went to London today. We left the house 10am and got home at 6. Obviously a fair bit of this was trains/buses but it was a lot of changes, stairs to platforms, going between trains etc but DS did so well. I took a fold up pushchair and he went in when tired but he did a lot of walking. So I am confident now that taking it for these long days out works for us and I will try to care less what others think!! 😁

Well done! And I bet you need to sit down and put your feet up now

yes it's tiring, but not impossible

Now that’s a slogan for a great day out.

CeeceeBloomingdale

Mine both refused to sit in them, walked a lot daily and therefore built up stamina. They didn't nap past 12 months so it was easy to ditch it early. You allow extra time, stop at benches for a rest periodically and bribe them when they get tired!“

Or, take a lightweight pushchair or backpack.

I used to, just in case, at 3 1/2. A full on day out in a big city, tubes, crowded places, is a lot at that age.

Our eldest daughter, mother to a lively 18 month old, full time worker, starting at university in September, home cook, couch to 5k devotee, dog owner and walker, decorating her first owned home/doing the garden, crafter and Etsy seller in her “spare time”, has a great deal of stamina, thanks. She loved a pushchair.

Seriously, get over yourself.

@HelloDulling

yes it's tiring, but not impossible

Now that’s a slogan for a great day out.

This has made me laugh a lot

Good grief. Such deep thinking about such a non issue!!

Just take the pushchair!! I took mine out for years as it was used to transport the picnic, blankets, scooters etc.

Day's out are meant to be enjoyable. If taking the pushchair so DC can rest for a bit means the prevention of a tired induced tantrum - so be it!

Why do you care what people think? Performance parenting by not using the pushchair!

Depends on the child. My older one (6) would gladly still sit in one. The younger one (2), prefers to walk beside the buggy.... Do what's best for you and your kids

@iRun2eatCake not trying to be a performance parent at all and I apologise that my question seems to have offended you so much! I wish I didn't care what others think but I do. Believe me I really wish I didn't! But I'm trying to not question my choices so much now.