Help! Don't understand how toddler can do a full day out without a pushchair

[Rosebud1302]

Hi all,

I have a real internal conflict in my head about the whole pushchair situation. I know, silly thing to worry about in the grand scheme of life but I'm struggling with it.

My son is nearly 3 and a half. Now obviously for shorter trips he walks, goes on his bike etc. That is all fine. But I am really struggling with how he is meant to cope with full days out without it. He simply won't manage walking all day. I know this for a fact! I mean, I even struggle as an adult but I don't understand what that transition period is between being young enough to have a pushchair and being old enough to cope with a full day out is?

When I say full days out I mean a visit to a city using trains/buses to get there and back, walking round visiting place, then getting home and walking from the station to home. Or a full day at the zoo which again will mean public transport, a walk to and from home and walking round a zoo.

I just don't understand how he will manage that but also I feel like everyone will judge me if I bring a pushchair. I don't have a younger child so there isn't a buggy board etc.

Can anyone let me know what they did for full days out when their kids were his age? Carrying him isn't an option for more than a few minutes due to a bad back. I also don't want to just not go out with him because I adore taking him out and he loves it too. But the tired tantrums if I made him walk all day wouldn't be fun!

Thank you :)

Thanks all, yes he loves his pushchair, maybe that's part of the problem haha. He isn't a lazy child per say (we do lots of activities etc he is non stop at home) but the pushchair is too tempting 🤣

I don't see any difficulty with the plan you proposed. Mine is that age and yes, will walk around all day. With time sitting on a train or bus and sitting down for snacks and drinks, etc, it's just not an issue. That's what they'd be doing anyway on any normal day - walking or running for a bit, playing, then sitting down, then walking or running again... We sold the buggy about 6 months ago and I haven't used the sling in as long. We do sometimes take the bus where as adults we might have walked, but otherwise it works fine, and no we don't drive everywhere, we're Londoners.

Training, scooter, going out in the morning when the kids naturally seem to have more energy. Plus factoring in regular sit down breaks. We usually bring packed lunches to a museum or whatever then spend the great money on a little cake at the coffee shop later for another break.

I've got. 3.5 yo and it wouldn't occur to me NOT to use the pushchair for a day out like that. He can walk when he wants to and when I want to go at my pace/ he's dawdling/ he's tired, into the push chair he goes.

Use a buggy. Why do you care what others think?
If you take a bike/scooter you’ll only end up carrying it and your child while they scream because they are over tired.
Seriously, don’t give a f* what other people think!

Judging by comments some would put a school age child in a buggy?

[quote Bonheurdupasse]@theplantsitter
Ok maybe I’m wrong (although how can you miss them when being out and about for years..).
But then - have you, or anyone you know, ever seen children of 3-4 years old in prams etc in other countries ? (Not British tourists )[/quote]
I’ve relatives in Spain - i can tell you they didn’t use buggies particularly at all, but, having been there with toddlers that’s because where they live the streets aren’t really the best for pushing one (there’s whole sections of the town cars can’t get to either).

But their toddlers didn’t walk, they were carried everywhere instead.

So I’d assume tbh that in more modern towns and in cities they would use buggies.

Ignore the posters with one amazing walking child who hasn’t needed a pushchair since they were 18 months. Some kids take longer.

Scooter with a pull rope is a good one. Or just a pushchair. Or just wait until they are older before doing full days out with lots of walking.

[quote Bonheurdupasse]@theplantsitter
I lived there and walked the streets lots (no car or lots of money so had to). I literally didn't see "non-babies" (what would be considered in the UK infants) in prams or the like.[/quote]
I haven’t lived in Asia, but I can tell you in Toronto you don’t see kids in buggies because they are all strapped into cars…DS was an anomaly being pulled on a scooter (and widely tut-tutted at, scooters are seen as backyard toys, not a means of getting a preschooler about).

You need to remember that your day out might not be the same as someone else's. We were a mile walk from the train station, including a massive steep hill. Different to having a tube station down the road for example. Plus the train was often standing room only. We found we could often leave the pushchair for free in a museum cloakroom.

My experience of living in Paris is that 1) schools and nurseries are on the corner so you drag children along and it's not too far to scoot; 2) parents are less reluctant to drag screaming children; 3) almost everyone had a buggy board for the older sibling. Youngest siblings have scooters from 4. In the Netherlands, kids go on the back of the bike and aren't expected to walk anywhere ever.

A buggy until 5 seems equivalent to both of these options. It seems madness to spoil a day out by not taking one.

Cut yourself some slack. Drivers just do not understand. If you had a car to load up all your picnic/spare clothes/snacks/entertainment etc in then you probably wouldn't need a pram either. I felt totally judged for needing a pram longer, until I had another child and had a car and realised how much easier it is. Those with cars simply can't understand the difference. If you are using public transport all day then use it as long as you need.

So my first child, when I didn't have a car and relied on public transport still used a pram occasionally on longer days out or when I needed to get shopping age 4. Second child was about 3, but I had a car and a younger child so had a buggy board readily available. Third child refused to walk far without needing carried, and I was trying to coax and stand my ground but then when he started on preventer inhalers for regular asthma attacks when he was 3 he could suddenly walk for miles and miles without needing carried, and it hadn't been obvious he was put of breath, he wasn't wheezy between attacks. But when we trialed him off inhalers 6 months later he suddenly asked to be carried all the time.

A huge number of pre-schoolers have as yet undiagnosed common conditions such as asthma, hypermobility, ADHD, ASD, vision or hearing loss etc that may be very mild but also means walking far and being safe around traffic takes a bit longer than others.

Bottom line is if you need it and it isn't a hindrance to take it with you, then take it. You know it isn't needed anymore when it feels like it's slowing you down.

Anyone who says children don't need it beyond 2 are very likely not going very many places or very far without a car.

My DS would manage that fine, yes he would be tired and probably kick off later by the end but the actual day would be fine, however his friend was in a buggy past 4, different kids have different stamina. My DS literally never sat still though

All kids are different but my DD is a little over 2.5 and she hasn’t been in a pushchair for over a year. I’m not sure I could get her in one now if I wanted to. My elder DD was the same, pretty much as soon as they could walk they didn’t want to be pushed around anymore and I would just take further/longer trips as we went along and kind of ‘trained them up’ I guess. They do moan the odd time but they’ve got to learn to be on their feet all day at some point!

DS is 3.5 and, as everyone else has said, we take a little buggy on days out where there will be lots of walking.

Also, he's not very good at staying put and not running off. So the buggy gives me peace of mind too, when he's in it I know where he bloody is!

I couldn't care less what a random stranger walking past thinks. They can think what they like, I don't know them and I'm never going to see them again. Shock horror, sometimes I also give him my phone to watch when he's in there....

Drivers just do not understand.

This is true. “But mine walked everywhere since they were 18 months old!” where ‘everywhere’ means ‘from the car park to our destination.’

I did use a buggy with a toddler much less when living in a city with great public transport, where we could just jump on a bus any time. Had a carrier stashed in the backpack for long days. Then we moved out of the city and started using the buggy much more again.

You could still get a buggy bored for your son to use and just put bags etc in the pram.

My kids wouldn't go in it at that age. If he still wants it then take it. It doesn't matter what a random stranger thinks.

If you do want to try without I would start with half days and build up, but generally they are fine as long as you stop for lunch at some point.

My youngest was a lazy arse so I used a lightweight pushchair until he was 3-4ish. I remember reading threads on here at the time about how shocking that was and how other people's kids walked miles

He still hates walking anywhere now so I'd still a lazy arse but is super sporty too so he's fit and healthy, all's good!

I think you may underestimate him. My daughter hasn't ridden in a pushchair since she was 2 with the exception of napping in one on holiday (she'd dropped naps by then but she was having late nights) and that's involved full days at zoos, theme parks and reasonably long country walks.

Embracelife

Just take a lightweight pushchair
Who cares what anyone else thinks “

This. When he doesn’t want to sit in it, you can put your stuff in it too

I think you know your dc is ready to stop using one. My DC1 used a pushchair until around 3, not a lot but when she got tired she'd jump in. DC2 hasn't willingly been in since about 18 months but is fiercely independent and will fight me if I try to pop him in- usually if we're around a busy road or a crowded place where I don't him darting off or having to chase him through a crowd.

It varies from child to child and you'll be able to tell when yours is ready to walk all the time. 3 or 4 isn't unusual to be in a pushchair- I know plenty of people still using carriers at that age.

Don't let the 'my child hasn't used a pushchair since they were 18 months' brigade worry you. The earliest a child can be referred for investigation for not being able to walk at all is 18 months, so being able to do a whole day out walking at that age is not the norm!

This is speaking as someone whose kids took first steps at 17 months and 20 months respectively. Only one of them was seen as needing investigation, and even then it was one physio appointment 'slightly hypermobile, nothing to worry about, no further action needed'. Sure enough she'll never be sporty but she is now a 12 year old who can walk miles! Having a buggy in legoland at 4 has not harmed her that i can see!

Also, why is taking a scooter or carrying a child some of the time 'better'? How is that different from going in a buggy apart from what judge people might think? Indeed it probably far worse from a safety and parents health point of view.

As for the person who thinks you should go to the GP. Ha ha ha..please come back and tell us your GP's response to your taking their time up because you find busy days out with a 3 year old a bit tiring!

Mine both refused to sit in them, walked a lot daily and therefore built up stamina. They didn't nap past 12 months so it was easy to ditch it early. You allow extra time, stop at benches for a rest periodically and bribe them when they get tired!

Hes 3 and a half! He should be able tk manage a day out without a pram! I couldn't imagine putting any of my own kids, or any of my minded kids in a pram at 3 and a half and I've looked after A LOT of children.