Concerned partner may harm baby

[LVW2]

Hi all, just looking for some advice and support...

I have a 3 month old baby. I've been with her father for several years. He has Aspergers, and hasn't been great with LO so I've done 95% of caring for her even though he doesn't work so is around all the time. Earlier this evening he took her upstairs to change her nappy as I was exhausted from caring for her all day, mostly on my own. She was crying, and after a couple of minutes went quiet. I thought she'd stopped crying but realised I could still hear her, just muffled. I came upstairs quietly and was shocked to see partner had put pillows over LOs face while he did the nappy. I immediately removed them and comforted LO. Partner muttered something about needing earplugs and left the room. He risked suffocating her just because she was a bit loud.

Later when LO was happy, I asked partner to go and stay with his family. He was apologising and crying so clearly does know what he did was totally unacceptable. He's gone now, and I'm left wondering what next? Am I overreacting in thinking this is the end of our relationship , since I can't ever trust him alone with LO again? I'm sure he'll promise never to do anything like that again, but can I believe that? Also the plan was for him to be the main childcarer by the time LO is 1 as my maternity leave will end and I'm the only wage earner. Now I'm thinking no way is that going to happen!
As background, he's never been violent or abusive towards me, and always seemed good with children in the family before we had LO, so this has come out of the blue.

This man is a danger to your baby. Please put your child first and leave.

no he can never be trusted with a child again!

You need to call the police that attempted murder?!

You are not over reacting and well done for getting him away from your family home so quickly.

You don't need to do anymore for now, cuddle your baby. Do you have family and friends you can talk to in real life?

You need him out of there immediately!

Jesus Christ. Is your baby definitely okay? You can’t let him back. You can’t let him anywhere near your baby. You have to tell someone about this straight away so you’ve got a record of what he did.

Oh OP this must be awful for you.
What he did was truely awful, and shows a complete lack of clear decision making and judgement. He would not be safe to leave with you LO - whether he knows what he did this time was wrong, what’s stopping him from making a difference dangerous decision?

Wtf
LTB before he does something that can’t be undone
For the safety or your baby and yourself
This man can’t be trusted and shouldn’t be near your baby

Sorry what I meant to say is he needs to be out of the family home....permanently. You won't ever be able to trust him with your child.

That's horrific.

Get him out of the house and go to court for a child arrangements order for 100 percent care

Please take your baby to hospital.. You need it on record. He may apply for unsupervised contact.. You need to make sure this never happens.
Ring the police now or you may live to regret it. Whatever medical conditions he has your dc comes first.

Could you call 111 or make an urgent doctors appointment, a) to check that your little one is ok and b) to get this recorded.

Youve done the right thing asking him to leave, stuck with your gut with this, theres no apologizing for this, he is and always will be a danger to your child.

@Santahasjoinedww

Please take your baby to hospital.. You need it on record. He may apply for unsupervised contact.. You need to make sure this never happens. Ring the police now or you may live to regret it. Whatever medical conditions he has your dc comes first.

actually, I agree with this post. Get it on record and take any help offered to you.

You have done nothing wrong.

Omg, OP he can NEVER be left alone with your baby again. You need to report it otherwise if you split, he will gain access to your child.

Go to hospital.
Get it on record.

Kick him out.
Don't let him back.

If he can do that with very little reason, what the hell will he do if really provoked?

Yes, it's the end of your relationship of course.

You also do need to report him to SS and the police.

Fucking hell, phone the police now and report this man. Your baby could have been killed by him. And never let him back anywhere near the both of you again.

That's terrifying. Just awful. You need to keep them apart, no matter what! Yes report it, be open with everyone about it so they don't pass her over to him.

Well done for chucking him out OP. Now please get your baby seen at the hospital, this man can never have unsupervised contact with her, he could have killed her.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you both, look after yourself and your DD.

I'm so sorry OP, you need to keep your baby safe and leave. Please go to hospital to record this also, or call non emergency policy. This must be so hard for you, I'm so sorry.

I agree with PP- go to the hospital this evening, get it logged and most importantly to double check the baby is ok.

Please don't keep this is secret from professionals- social services are there to support in situations like this, especially as you have asked him to leave.

I’m sorry, OP, that sounds very frightening.

You need to get your baby away from him. She’s not safe.

You cannot let him back into your home unsupervised with your DD.

Jesus Christ. Report this to the police and social services.

You’re not overreacting. He could have killed your child, he shouldn’t be alone with her again.