MIL insisting on moving in to help with newborn

[whysoserious123]

Just as the title says. My MIL who is lovely and means well has moved in a few weeks ago to help me while I'm pregnant (I'm due anyday) which I did not ask for at all and she has decided she will be staying until atleast the end of January to help me with my newborn.

Now I know I sound ungrateful but the baby is our first child and she moved in with us on the day me and my husband moved to our new house a few weeks ago. We haven't had one day together in our new home before baby comes and I find myself cooped up in my bedroom while my husband and works and my MIL is downstairs with the television. She means well but it's very awkward with me being sick and sometimes having to wait for the bathroom. In the night I get up about 7 times to use the bathroom for sickness or whatever and in the morning she makes a point of how I woke her up.

The house is a mess and the other living room downstairs is out of order as she has brought a load of her things to the house and is expecting to keep it there and have it all moved for her by my husband when she is ready to leave when he should be with his newborn. I don't know how the birth will go and will feel uncomfortable dealing with the realities of post birth with her prescence . Such as breastfeeding bleeding etc ( she has said she will help me shower and has already asked if I need that help now while pregnant)

Silly other things like she turns the heating up so much last months bill was 160 pounds and it's just so much more than we are used to.

I wanted to cook lots of batches of food and freeze it for when baby comes but she has filled the freezer with her food

I feel awkward in my own home and can't think of anything worse than leaving hospital and having to come to my own home and tiptoe around my MIL.

I can't go and get a bottle of water without a 45minutes conversation or a horror story about childbirth

She is not lonely and has a husband and a family. It's not a cultural thing either we are all from and live in England.

My husband has tried to talk to her but it seems to fall on death ears.

Can someone let me know a way we can let her down gentle and let her know she is welcome whenever but me and my husband would love some space to ourselves before the baby comes and especially once baby is here and for us to learn our own way with the baby?

@whysoserious123 - I hope that you've started 2022 on better terms with your inlaws and that your MiL has understood your (as in you and your DH's) position and has left by now to go home to her husband.

Best of luck with your upcoming and impending birth. Congratulations if you've managed to have the baby in the meantime (just covering all bases here)

@PanicBuyingSprouts

Your DH can't just try abs talk to her. Tell him he need to tell her to go in the morning, she can pack her stuff up tonight or you'll tell het abs your version won't be as pretty.

You're married abs about to have his baby, he needs to start prioritising how you are feeling.

Honestly, he's so spineless. It's your mother just tell her!

We have this in my home over wearing shoes indoors. PILs always "forget".

How did this actually come about? Do you mean she literally showed up on the doorstep, bag and baggage, without ever mentioning a word about it in advance, saying 'Ta-DAH! I'm here to help for weeks!' and you and your husband actually let her in?

Clearly your husband hasn't tried very hard if she's still there. Bluntness is your friend here. 'MIL, we're overwhelmed by your very generous offer to stay, but we can manage things and we'd like time alone in our new home before the baby comes. If we need your help once the baby arrives, we'll let you know. What can we make you as your farewell dinner tonight before you leave tomorrow?'

You need to tell her and stand firm and also tell your husband to sort his mother out. She means well yes but all the extra stress you are going through will not end well. Do it sooner rather than later

Sounds dreadful Altho currently my DH is such little fucking help anyone moving in with me to lend a hand would be fine.

@MrsSugar would you like my MIL..I am in same boat baby due in couple of weeks & she wants to come and stay. Currently house renovation going on so she has found a camp bed for our living room. We said no.. she suggested she sleeps in car. I’m not joking!!! xo

Hope she’s gone and good luck with the birth

Hope she’s gone and good luck with the birth.

My sentiments too