Everyone thinks he's a girl

[Babyboy2020]

I'm not really sure why this bothers me, because it sure as anything doesn't bother my son, as he's 15 months old.

He has THE most gorgeous head of hair. Double ringlets at the back, dark, shiny, thick, wild hair. Everyone has commented on it from almost the day he was born. I can almost tie it back in a pony tail now, and usually I clip back the front or give him a hair band to keep it out of his eyes. Its his thing. He looks older because of it, and it gives this child who I adore and has so much character, even more so.

As the year has gone on, more people have said things such as 'she's beautiful 'what gorgeous hair she has etc.

The first few times it genuinely didn't bother me but it's now a daily occurrence at the supermarket etc. To add to it, my very conservative father asks me, without fail, every time we see him (once a week ish) why I haven't cut his hair yet/when am I cutting his hair.

Now my son has no concept of gender at 15 months, the comments are not damaging his sense of self in any way or making him feel insecure about who he is. He might not be able to see properly all the time due to the fuzzy fringe in his eyes.. but thats a different issue.

It would break my heart to cut it. It's his thing and I adore his wild hair. Especially after a bath when it's super curly and he looks a bit feral

I do want him to be able to see properly now he is walking. And I genuinely am not sure why, but the constant mistaken gender is annoying me. I think perhaps because I am proud of my son, of his crazy hair. He is beautiful. Exactly how he is, for who he is. And I'm tired of the awkward correcting people, or ignoring it, which takes something away from the moment of being able to enjoy someone commenting positively on my child. I just want that to be a simple pleasure. After an only child, a lockdown baby i couldn't share in person with the world.

My hairdresser friend said if I don't want to cut it, all I could do was clip it back or use a hairband. Both of these methods make him look more feminine which is adding to the issue. Even crocodile hairclips, or shark ones.. same issue.

He can do as he pleases when he's older. Its his hair and I want him to be happy. I don't want him bullied. Or made fun of as he grows. I also don't want him to resent me for cutting it when he's older, or not cutting it. Totally over thinking it now.

What would you do?

Just put a hairband till its long enough to tie back. If you like his hair then theres no more reason to cut it than if he was a girl. Ignore what other people say about it. People misgender little kids all the time, its no big deal

Babyboy2020
The people with those views need to get a grip in my opinion. An adult who judges a child like that, or would think a haircut is nice until they realise the child in front of them is male isn't someone worth paying attention to. Once you strip it back to the core beliefs it's easy to humour them for having such a ridiculous outlook.

Most people who mistake you son for a girl are probably people who would mistake the sex of any child in unisex clothing or who weren't styled along the lines of gender stereotypes. Most of my friends have had their young children mis-sexed. None of it was a dig at their children. It's just children at that age look similar. When I was out with a friend and our young DC, we've heard about what cute girls they are and what lovely boys they are (reality was 1 girl and 1 boy both with ear length hair). There was nothing in it.

I'd accept any mistakes as a simple, fairly common mistake and brush it off, and then ignore anyone who is stupid enough to think that a child's genitals dictate how their hair should be styled.

Your post of 23:04 last night suggests to me that you're over-thinking it massively.

You don't want to use clips and headbands because people think he's a girl and it bothers you. So trim a bit off the front so he can see, leave the rest and go about your lives without hair accessories. I agree with PP- there's a lot of unnecessary angst here.

My ds is 19 months and has golden ringlets at the back. I don’t want to cut it yet but I trim his fringe every now and then so he can see. It must be so irritating for him to have hair in his eyes all the time. Just cut the fringe, or have it cut if you don’t feel confident to do it and don’t make a big issue out of it 🤷🏼‍♀️

@whoami24601

You need to develop a thicker skin honestly. I have 2 DS with long hair and they're always mistaken for girls. It's just life! Sometimes I correct and sometimes I don't depending on the situation. It's not worth getting upset about!

This really. Why is it so awful to be mistaken for a girl? Surely, that's a compliment? It's so strange how people react like it's the worst thing ever. My sin gets mistaken for a girl. If I ever bother to correct them, its like their head is going to explode because they just can't process it.

We thought DD1 was to be a boy at first and Grandparents bought lots of boy clothes 🤷🏻‍♀️ honestly it doesn't matter at all!! Especially at this age they're all the same!!