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Original poster

3 year old up 'till 3/4am

169 replies

Cait73 · 23/10/2021 01:36

Previously pretty good sleeper we're now going to bed but getting up at 11pm staying awake 'till 3/4am

Apart from the obvious effects 2 hours sleep is having on me, he's super grumpy all day because he's tired

He's not had a daytime nap since he turned 2 and he was sleeping 6pm to 6am

Any ideas? I've tried being super boring ie just walking him back to his room, I've tried leaving the radio on quiet I've tried lying with him, anything I do works for 15/20 mins then he's up again

OP posts:
jupitermars1345 · 23/10/2021 10:24

This isn't a popular answer on MN but barring illness etc I'd leave him to it 🤷‍♀️ night time is night time here at that age

Original poster
Cait73 · 23/10/2021 10:33

@jupitermars1345 I'm with you and I do leave him right up to the last minute, sometimes he settles himself but he mostly just gets more and more worked up

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Fallagain · 23/10/2021 15:44

I would share a bed with him. Put on headphone and listen to a podcast. Tell him it’s sleep time and close your eyes. Likely you will fall asleep and so will he. Are you getting him up in the morning or letting him catch up on sleep? I would wake him up at 7 every morning.

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MistyFrequencies · 23/10/2021 15:50

Mine nearly killed me with this. Bed sharing was the only way forward and they dontr leave the room. It's safe but boring so if he gets up and wanders I leave him to it, he eventually gets back in to sleep. Some nights not without significant screaming about wanting to go out and play with his toys but....

Original poster
Cait73 · 23/10/2021 16:09

@Fallagain he gets himself up 6:30am I've tried taking him to bed many times over the years he's not having any of it

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mjHoward · 23/10/2021 19:30

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lifesnotaspectatorsport · 23/10/2021 22:47

Have you tried a later bedtime? 6pm seems a bit early to me - maybe he's not built up enough sleep deficit and that's why he wakes 5 hours later? My 4yo sleeps 8.30/9pm - 6.30/7am with no nap. I think at 3 it was more like 7.30pm-6.30am. He also dropped his nap at 2.

Worth a try?

Itsnotover · 23/10/2021 22:54

I would try putting him to bed at 7 instead.

Is he getting enough exercise in the day? Is he learning to do something new at the moment? Sometimes when this happens a child’s brain will wake them up to tell them they need to keep practicing this skill.

I always use certain regular music at night time for my toddler to associate with sleep.

LittleBearPad · 23/10/2021 22:55

6pm is very early for bedtime.

Otherwise just repeat it’s bedtime over and over again. No other engagement.

user1470132907 · 23/10/2021 23:02

I’d be putting him down at least an hour later, if not 2.

Is he being woken by you going to bed at 11pm? May have got into habit of then staying awake to have time with you

If he eats early, I’d do supper to rule out it being hunger.

Is he in nappies still? Possibly he’s getting ready to be dry at night and is being woken by urge to pee.

Last but not least, try and get him out in daylight as much as possible. Changes in light this time of year really mess with circadian rhythms in some people. Can be sleepy some times of day (classic SAD) but can also cause alertness at weird times.

It’s normal to have a lighter phase of sleep in middle of night. You need him to be knackered enough that he can drop back off.

user1470132907 · 23/10/2021 23:03

Also, mine did this and I have no idea why but it did stop! Brutal though

Original poster
Cait73 · 23/10/2021 23:10

It's a struggle keeping him up past 5pm especially at the moment he's running in very little sleep he's very destructive lots of melt downs.

We live a very active lifestyle he's outside a lot

I've just come up to bed abs he's just got up, I've put him back into his bed 3 times he's still playing in his room

I am so tired it's ridiculous

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 23/10/2021 23:18

I’d take the toys away (which may be a bit impractical).

LittleBearPad · 23/10/2021 23:19

We live a very active lifestyle he's outside a lot

Maybe keep this to the morning or early afternoon so late afternoon is more relaxed.

Original poster
Cait73 · 23/10/2021 23:32

Yes I'm going to empty his room tomorrow as much as possible

He's not outside later than 3/4pm especially now it's started to get cold

I think tomorrow I'm going to introduce quiet time after lunch, try get him to lie down for half an hour by himself maybe listen to a story cd?

I think he's over tired

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Original poster
Cait73 · 23/10/2021 23:43

I'm just sitting crying this has been going on for 2 weeks I'm on my own and I can't continue on 2 hours sleep a night

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 23/10/2021 23:43

Good luck. The quiet time after lunch sounds like a good plan.

Hope your little Duracell bunny goes to sleep soon

LittleBearPad · 23/10/2021 23:44

Can you put him in bed with you?

Lights out. At least you’d be lying down.

Sleepystarbright · 23/10/2021 23:57

I would definitely keep him up later in the evening- even if it's a struggle and he's grumpy. He may simply not need 12 hours sleep anymore. I would try keeping him up until 8pm and see what happens.

Is there any chance you can go to bed earlier until this is sorted? This would have the dual benefit of allowing you to catch up on sleep plus avoiding potentially disturbing him when you go to bed at 11pm.

How is his daytime behaviour and boundaries? There may be work to do around bedtime boundaries - starting with talking to him in the day about your expectations of his behaviour if he wakes at night. And then holding him to those expectations when he does wake up.

Good luck 💐

Papierdecoupe · 24/10/2021 00:15

We have this sometimes. I’m not sure if anything helps, only time it seems. A weighted blanket seemed to help break one of the cycles. And a strict ‘you can only call out one time at night’ broke the latest cycle.

I really feel for you. I’m not exaggerating when I say our marriage has almost broken down because of this particular sleep torture. It’s seriously awful. I hope he snaps out of it soon for you.

Itsnotover · 24/10/2021 00:22

@Cait73 poor you. Sleep deprivation is torturous. It is possible he’s over tired, yes.

Original poster
Cait73 · 24/10/2021 03:34

3:30am he's still going, I can't put him in bed with me I WISH he doesn't settle I've tried many times in nearly 3 years

I'm finished, absolutely finished, tomorrow will be day 16 on 2 hours sleep

OP posts:
Original poster
Cait73 · 24/10/2021 03:35

@Papierdecoupe thank you

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Kanaloa · 24/10/2021 04:02

I think 6pm seems a very very early bedtime - at that age I would have been collecting mine from nursery at 6.15pm. I would try to keep him up until about 7.30pm, I think that would give you a much better chance of him sleeping through.

mathanxiety · 24/10/2021 04:23

Empty his room of all toys, and leave him to it.
Make sure he can't let himself out to wander around in the night, and don't leave a light on anywhere to brighten the room, not inside the room or out in a hallway.

When you say he gets worked up does he cry? Call for you?

Definitely force a quiet time after lunch. Listening to a story on tape sounds restful.

A weighted blanket might be useful.

Have you tried white noise, in case there's anything disturbing him at 11pm?

Talk to your GP about melatonin if nothing else works. One mg would make a huge difference.

Are there any ASD traits present in your DS?