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Original poster

3 year old up 'till 3/4am

169 replies

Cait73 · 23/10/2021 01:36

Previously pretty good sleeper we're now going to bed but getting up at 11pm staying awake 'till 3/4am

Apart from the obvious effects 2 hours sleep is having on me, he's super grumpy all day because he's tired

He's not had a daytime nap since he turned 2 and he was sleeping 6pm to 6am

Any ideas? I've tried being super boring ie just walking him back to his room, I've tried leaving the radio on quiet I've tried lying with him, anything I do works for 15/20 mins then he's up again

OP posts:
Phineyj · 23/11/2021 10:49

ago

Original poster
Cait73 · 23/11/2021 18:33

@Phineyj it's a consideration but we live fairly remote the choices are limited

I tried the health visitor 4 times today, hopefully someone will come back to me

It was good chatting to someone else who had struggled today, she's suggested sticking to a strict routine (to the minute) and just keep putting lo back to bed, I've accidentally made myself too interesting and turned bedtime into a bit of an activity.

He's been "in bed" half an hour I've put him back into bed 7 times, the latest time I've rescued him off the windowsill he'd actually moved a small chest of drawers to get up there, what else can I do but keep trying? Oh and don't speak, be boring

He's out again, up I go.......

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Phineyj · 23/11/2021 22:06

The only thing that worked a bit for me was soothing classical music (it had no effect on the bedtime shenanigans themselves but DD is now quite musical aged 8, so maybe it had a brainwashing effect Grin).

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Original poster
Cait73 · 23/11/2021 22:42

@Phineyj he's always listened to classical music (I was raised on it I believe it's highly beneficial) but I'm now told it's "too loud"

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Original poster
Cait73 · 28/11/2021 09:35

The health visitor finally got back to me Friday; they're coming to see us "urgently"

In 3 weeks!!!

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Phineyj · 28/11/2021 09:48

That's rubbish. This is going to sound odd, but have you emailed your MP? Sometimes they can get things moving.

Original poster
Cait73 · 28/11/2021 10:59

@Phineyj my MP is a bit sick of me I won't go into detail but he helped me with a lot of things last year

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Phineyj · 28/11/2021 11:37

Ooh dear, well I'm glad you're making him/her earn their keep.

Phineyj · 28/11/2021 11:41

www.england.nhs.uk/2019/04/nhs-sleep-clinic-programme-boosts-children-and-parents-mental-health/ this is probably no use to you (unless you randomly happen to be in Sheffield) but I thought it was interesting. We would have loved to be able to self refer to a service like this 5 years ago.

DayToNight · 28/11/2021 11:57

We went through a similar situation. We ended up putting a baby gate on his door. Left toys etc. also put in a light up alarm clock. When the light is off it is time to sleep - as long as you stay in your room you can do what you like. When light is on its wake up time. After about a week his sleep gradually got better. Now we leave the baby gate open and he'll come out to wee and go straight back to bed (3.5 yrs)

Original poster
Cait73 · 28/11/2021 12:28

@Phineyj oh he did last year trust me lol

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Original poster
Cait73 · 28/11/2021 12:30

@DayToNight

We went through a similar situation. We ended up putting a baby gate on his door. Left toys etc. also put in a light up alarm clock. When the light is off it is time to sleep - as long as you stay in your room you can do what you like. When light is on its wake up time. After about a week his sleep gradually got better. Now we leave the baby gate open and he'll come out to wee and go straight back to bed (3.5 yrs)
We have the Ollie owl day/night light he gets it but it's following it, he has no toys in his room I took everything out as he was doing exactly this, just playing! He's ex child in need so I can't put a gate in his room
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Original poster
Cait73 · 03/12/2021 21:05

Things are really bad now; where he was going to bed okay then getting up, he's now refusing to go to bed at all

Last night he slept 9-11pm then 4-6am

I'm unbelievably shattered I've no idea how he's even doing it

OP posts:
RandomMess · 03/12/2021 21:15

😳

Perhaps consider the sleep breeds sleep approach and get him to have a midday nap/quiet time in front of a DVD.

Does he have a weighted blanket?

Original poster
Cait73 · 03/12/2021 21:32

@RandomMess I tried this (nap) weeks 3 and 4 had absolutely no effect and weighted blankets aren't recommended for under 5's I can't remember why 🤷‍♀️

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Phineyj · 04/12/2021 12:52

Maybe because they haven't got developed core muscles yet so slight risk? You could try layering lots of lightweight blankets (we have some from Flying Tiger).

I often wonder how DD is so perky on disrupted sleep. She woke up at 11pm on Thursday night, lay on the sofa watching YouTube and then managed a whole day at school and a Christmas fair. She was overexcited about the Christmas fair (something to look forward to wakes her up like nobody's business).

It was a lot worse when she used to wake us up too for company so I know how bad it is.

Original poster
Cait73 · 04/12/2021 13:05

@Phineyj yes probably, tried layering blankets he gets too hot (he was always a hot baby) stripped back now he gets too cold it's a real bloody game, everything is

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fdt474 · 04/12/2021 14:15

I would echo others and say 6pm sounds extremely early. My 20 month old doesn’t go to bed until 7.30pm!

Original poster
Cait73 · 04/12/2021 15:13

@fdt474 HE TRIES TO GO TO BED AT 5 I have tried keeping him up but the 5-7 time is beyond unbearable it isn't worth it, it's just screaming tantrums so yeah I'll be sure to make him stay up for that!!

I am EXTREMELY tired I'm sorry if you haven't read all the posts and replies but I have literally tried everything

I'm at my wits end of it was as simple as putting him to bed later don't you think I would have done that by now? I would do ANYTHING to get some sleep, anything

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Phineyj · 04/12/2021 16:32

He sounds like he has jet lag almost? Do you manage to spend a big chunk of daylight hours outside? Could you? Just wondering if that might improve things (and being knackered always seems slightly less awful in the fresh air). I've never tried one of those daylight lamps (for SAD) but maybe worth a try?

The other thing that sometimes works for us (sounds a bit random) is swimming).

I think melatonin would be worth a try too but I think a paediatrician has to prescribe.

I am sure DD has less melatonin in her body than most people.

Original poster
Cait73 · 05/12/2021 19:43

@Phineyj we live on Dartmoor I think we're more out than in, actually someone suggested I take him in more lol even at preschool they're outside very like forest school. Kids down here are born with wellies on 😂

Weirdly last night he slept 6pm to 6am for NO reason, praying it's the beginning of the end and whatever was bothering him has passed 🙏 still progressing with play therapist and sleep clinic

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EL1984 · 05/12/2021 21:22

Hi, really sorry to hear your struggle. I don't know how you've been surviving on such little sleep. I have a younger toddler so don't have much advice but thought I'd mention Lyndsey Hookway, she has an excellent Instagram page and I think one of her books focuses on sleep for older toddlers/childeren so could be worth looking at. She is very holistic in her approach.

I found her really useful when my baby was small and not sleeping but I know she also is an expert in sleep for toddlers and kids.

Best of luck xx

RandomMess · 05/12/2021 21:24

I really hope tonight is a good night too Thanks

Original poster
Cait73 · 07/12/2021 04:32

It's 4:30am he's been up since midnight I haven't slept yet

I got a couple of hours yesterday morning while he was at nursery, I'm going to get onto the health visitor and gp this morning he surely can't be allowed to go on like this?

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Original poster
Cait73 · 07/12/2021 04:33

@EL1984 I'll look her up, thank you - I'd be surprised if there's something I haven't tried in the last 8 weeks but something might leap out at me 🙏

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