Health visitors when you say no

[Nc4post99]

Appreciate things might have changed due to Covid but when I had dd in 2019, the HV didn’t do an ante natal check but came at day 5 for a ‘house inspection’ of sorts. It felt awfully invasive although we did oblige thinking it would be just where baby sleeps etc, but she checked every single room in the house passing comment on decor etc- was weird.

Fast forward to now. I do plan on having more limited involvement with HV past 6 weeks and not really going to weight checks as we have a baby scale at home and their advice with dd was atrocious, so don’t see the point.

But will they want to look around my house this time? DH and I are fine to do the weight checks in the early weeks of life to make sure feeding is going a ok, but I don’t want a home inspection. Is this even a thing anymore? You reckon if it’s brought up I can just explain baby will be sleeping in a next to me, we know about safe sleep and will follow the guidelines but don’t feel the need for a house inspection? Last thing I want is social services called and you hear horror stories

(We’re a relatively well off couple no concerns from a welfare point of view. We have a paed for my daughter so any concerns and we’ll be straight there (no waiting) )

Thing is though @Immaculatemisconception I think you’re putting to much importance in the role of a HV, how child abuse can be prevented from a 5 visits, 2 of which occur on the phone is beyond me. They aren’t the fail safe against child abuse. Rather they are one piece of a much larger puzzle, that puzzle includes GPs, midwives, hospital staff, school and nurseries and in the case where there are social workers involved, social workers. When the parents do not wish for whatever reason to engage with that service there are other professionals that have a duty of care towards safeguarding. Most likely those individuals have a lot more common involvement with the child too.

Irks me you are trying to silence women’s lives experiences of some of their encounters. Many women (like myself) might not know where to ask if xyz is standard practice or what to expect or even if the advice that they’ve been given is wrong. And obviously people seldom post about good events to any sort of public forum.

^that being said, parenthood is bloody tricky at times so I see value In the idea of a HV service. But one that’s appropriate and adequately trained

Didn't see a HV at all, had one video call at six weeks where they asked to see the baby. Then nothing. They tried to schedule another phone call at one year which I said no to, and they made a big flap about how important it was. Its a phone call, they don't even see the baby.

I said if it was important you'd visit. I could have sold her the circus at 6 weeks and no one would know. Nothing since the initial flap.

I shudder to think how many parents with PND or other issues are flying under the radar right now because no one in the medical profession can be assed seeing people face to face.