Health visitors when you say no

[Nc4post99]

Appreciate things might have changed due to Covid but when I had dd in 2019, the HV didn’t do an ante natal check but came at day 5 for a ‘house inspection’ of sorts. It felt awfully invasive although we did oblige thinking it would be just where baby sleeps etc, but she checked every single room in the house passing comment on decor etc- was weird.

Fast forward to now. I do plan on having more limited involvement with HV past 6 weeks and not really going to weight checks as we have a baby scale at home and their advice with dd was atrocious, so don’t see the point.

But will they want to look around my house this time? DH and I are fine to do the weight checks in the early weeks of life to make sure feeding is going a ok, but I don’t want a home inspection. Is this even a thing anymore? You reckon if it’s brought up I can just explain baby will be sleeping in a next to me, we know about safe sleep and will follow the guidelines but don’t feel the need for a house inspection? Last thing I want is social services called and you hear horror stories

(We’re a relatively well off couple no concerns from a welfare point of view. We have a paed for my daughter so any concerns and we’ll be straight there (no waiting) )

@giggly

I thinking from this thread how many people have no idea about Child Protection procedures and nursing/ medical/ social work legal responsibilities. Many community nurses do indeed look around people’s homes to ensure the child’s basic needs are met. I have looked in bedrooms ( some children have no beds/ filthy bedding) , checked in bathrooms for toothbrushes, looked in fridges / cupboards for food. So for those spouting she was being nosey perhaps you should know the law before shooting out. Old house new house rich or poor, young parents or old children are at or being neglected every single day. Thankfully some of these children are saved quite literally by HV looking round your house.

I don't think many newborn babies have heir own toothbrush or designated food in the fridge though do they.

I didn’t have a house inspection with any of my DC

Mine didn’t and I would have told her she has no business seeing my bedroom (DS slept in our room during the first months) as it’s private. You’re also completely entitled to not let her in your home if you don’t want to.
It’s a free country and I would be very, very suspicious of any HV who was pretending that they have some kind of legal authority to get involved.

Due to Covid I didn't get a HV, not once, all my checks were done on the phone and they never once wanted to see my baby. Could have sold her to the circus at 5 days old and they wouldn't have known.

I’ve never heard of a HV doing a home inspection, ours didn’t leave the living room. That was in 2017/2018.

Mine have been always been amazing.

They came round for an 'inspection' and had a quick look round the kitchen/living areas for the first baby but they are on the lookout for evidence of drug misuse, squalor, people living at the address they might not know about, dangerous animals etc. They shouldnt be commenting on decor or checking dates on herbs

I haven't seen one in person for a few years now due to covid and they've stopped the drop-in clinic at the GP which used to be a general weigh-in/chat/questions clinic. It's a real shame as I do think seeing people face to face is important for both a lot of the parents, but also for them to notice or pick up on anything requiring follow up. My DS developed noticable hydroceles at a few weeks old which was picked up by a HV at the drop-in weigh clinic. I hadn't noticed as I'd never heard of them and had no idea what I was looking for.

Never had a full house inspection..i was a little concerned when my HV went to downstairs toilet to wash her hands as there were 2 day old chick's under a heat lamp in there 😳😁.. she didn't seem to mind !

I've never heard of this happening.
My HV ran through a checklist and just said "and baby is obviously sleeping in a cot yes?" "With no blankets or toys?" And I said yes and that was it. 🤷

HVs are part of the safeguarding process - as are social workers, police, drs, teachers and other professionals. They have child protection responsibilities which are covered by a ton of over arching CP legislation. All of those professionals should flag up concerns they have about a child. HVs are not going to necessarily act the same way in every house because every home set up is different. The fact that someone is well off doesn’t mean there are automatically no welfare concerns. Domestic violence, drug and alcohol abuse and mental illness don’t just affect poorer families. Children have starved to death in families where there was plenty of food. Not engaging doesn’t actually help the cause I don’t think it just increases the question marks. If there was ever an issue down the line - an injury necessitating a trip to A&E there would be no notes from the HV to support the fact that you seemed switched on /open parents just the fact you didn’t want to engage.

My first HV was brilliant, even visited me in hospital so supportive but when she retired the one that took over was frankly awful. She came to do the basic vision test and ds was crying and ratty and non co operative and she ended up writing ' mother refused test' in the red book

There is only 1 person I know who has had a house check done that was my friend her house is a mess tho so I guessed that was why. Health visitor went in sat down for a minute then said I need to see where baby will sleep etc I think they go off first impressions.

It all sounds quite invasive and I wouldn’t be happy with it. We didn’t have the check before DS was born a week before it was scheduled - the visit after was very relaxed, just a chat about how DS was getting on with feeding and I think I filled out some questionnaire to check I was ok. You shouldn’t be made to feel like you’re undergoing some kind of parent OFSTED inspection

DDs HV never came to the house, and that was 2014/15ish, I always arranged to see her in clinic or at the GP surgery (where they could refer to the GP) if it was needed.

It was fine, never an issue.

My HV turned up unexpectedly and demanded to see my children (their sister had recently died at birth and she had decided that she needed to provide counselling to them with no notice- she'd been on a cause, you know!).
I refused. She complained to SS. SS told her she had no right of access. End of story. I haven't seen a HV since, and I have had more children since then.
I think the hideous Named Person scheme makes it different in Scotland, but other than that, I don't think you are obliged to see a HV at all. I made it very clear to the ones here that they are welcome any time, just remember to bring the court order with them!

Definitely seems like I’m in the minority with the home check, could just be nosiness she made a few jokes about DH ethnicity too (not racist, she’s south Asian and she mistook him for another south Asian ethnicity he corrected her and she made a joke about DHs ethnic group never wanting to be mistaken for xyz ethnic group as she knew it was a ‘thing’… tbf it is a bit of a thing and we had a little laugh, so it’s nbd) maybe she was just intrigued as we’re a mixed ethnicity couple, so had a few more questions than usual around us? There’s also a bit of a stigma about blokes from DHs background so perhaps that factored in too 🤷‍♀️

I hope they don’t cancel the early days weight checks as something dangerous could be missed if baby isn’t feeding well, although I’d like to say I’d know the signs enough. I just don’t fancy another poke around my house, I’m quite house proud so feel self conscious about mess and stuff, yet my least fave hobby is put away laundry so we always have ‘the chair’ (the one with the laundry on)

Wow I'm sorry you have such an intruding HV OP. Mine were born 2017 and 2019 and nothing like this ever happened to me! They just came in for a chat and to weigh baby. A nursery nurse came round at 9 months for a "house check" but she didn't go around the house, she just listed things to keep baby safe eg baby gates for stairs, tall furniture secured to the wall, chemicals or medicines kept in a locked cupboard or out of reach etc. FWIW I'm also in a Labour area. Just sounds like your HV is one of those people who likes sticking their nose where it doesn't belong I guess they feel people who have given birth won't make a fuss or report them for their behaviour.

My first HV asked to see where baby would be sleeping and then seemed a bit put out that it wasn't safe for her to go upstairs as we had builders in (one of them had opened the door to her so she knew they were real) and that the cot was still in the box behind the chair she was sat on. None of the others asked about it with either baby other than running through the safe sleeping guidelines.

Dc2 was born November 2019. We never had a house inspection, i had the moses basket downstairs as i brought it down each day so she saw it and that was it re sleeping arrangements. She was my 2nd so whether it was just a case of 'mum must know what shes doing' im not sure. HV did advise me not to give my 6wo, premature baby swordfish though when we started to wean🤦‍♀️i was gutted i was just about to cook some up for her..

Dc2 was born November 2019. We never had a house inspection, i had the moses basket downstairs as i brought it down each day so she saw it and that was it re sleeping arrangements. She was my 2nd so whether it was just a case of 'mum must know what shes doing' im not sure. HV did advise me not to give my 6wo, premature baby swordfish though when we started to wean🤦‍♀️i was gutted i was just about to cook some up for her..

Gosh @QueeniesCroft that’s awful! No compassion there at all given the hell you must have been going through. I’m sorry for that experience must have made a terrible situation worse. I’m sorry about your little girl too ❤️

The day a baby on a HV's caseload is killed, neglected or hurt, the HV is pegged out to dry and many in depth questions are asked about their practice. Sadly what many people don't realise, is that child abuse is extremely common.

@Immaculatemisconception

The day a baby on a HV's caseload is killed, neglected or hurt, the HV is pegged out to dry and many in depth questions are asked about their practice. Sadly what many people don't realise, is that child abuse is extremely common.

But there is a process in place right, if HV tries to make contact and is denied and there is no other means of assessing the child’s welfare.

I do think right so the HV methods need to be questioned if there is an adverse outcome for a child, especially if that HV was regularly involved but the same would be for the nursery/ school/ social worker (if applicable). I actually think there isn’t enough accountability for health visitors (especially the ones that provide dangerous advice) I think their phone calls should be recorded for ‘training and monitoring purposes’.

I can’t comment on searching through cupboards that didn’t happen to me. But my whole house was went through and it was stated my walls were a bit plain and was I going to do something with the room that would become my daughters? Yet when we took in a child that was actually being abused the HV was meant to come out to do a welfare check, they didn’t 🤷‍♀️ And that child was actually being abused and was deeply traumatised and we called them for help and nada.

I saw one once the day after the midwife discharged me, the visit was awful and I told her not to come back.

She came back, I didn't open the door but told her through the kitchen window that I'd already said I didn't want to see her and that she needed to get out of my garden immediately.

That was the last I heard 🤷🏼‍♀️

@daisyjgrey

I saw one once the day after the midwife discharged me, the visit was awful and I told her not to come back.

She came back, I didn't open the door but told her through the kitchen window that I'd already said I didn't want to see her and that she needed to get out of my garden immediately.

That was the last I heard 🤷🏼‍♀️

😂😂😂

Sorry posted too soon. It sounds very funny, you telling them to piss off from the kitchen window 😂