Health visitors when you say no

[Nc4post99]

Appreciate things might have changed due to Covid but when I had dd in 2019, the HV didn’t do an ante natal check but came at day 5 for a ‘house inspection’ of sorts. It felt awfully invasive although we did oblige thinking it would be just where baby sleeps etc, but she checked every single room in the house passing comment on decor etc- was weird.

Fast forward to now. I do plan on having more limited involvement with HV past 6 weeks and not really going to weight checks as we have a baby scale at home and their advice with dd was atrocious, so don’t see the point.

But will they want to look around my house this time? DH and I are fine to do the weight checks in the early weeks of life to make sure feeding is going a ok, but I don’t want a home inspection. Is this even a thing anymore? You reckon if it’s brought up I can just explain baby will be sleeping in a next to me, we know about safe sleep and will follow the guidelines but don’t feel the need for a house inspection? Last thing I want is social services called and you hear horror stories

(We’re a relatively well off couple no concerns from a welfare point of view. We have a paed for my daughter so any concerns and we’ll be straight there (no waiting) )

I have had a baby during COVID and the health visitor rang before baby came to say she'd be coming round to introduce herself and I declined due to COVID. When baby was here I was prepared for her to come but a different person came and asked if the HV had looked at where baby would be sleeping at the first (non existent) visit. Apparently checking the safety of baby sleep arrangements has happened to half of my NCT group.

I've had 2 kids and 2 different HVs and never any inspection . Some HVs are amazing and others just love the power. My first one made me feel suicidal with her bad advice. My second one is more like a friend.

Did anyone else's health visitor say if police were ever called she would be the first to find out?

@faithfulbird20

Did anyone else's health visitor say if police were ever called she would be the first to find out?

Nope… that sounds ominous. In what sort of scenario? Just generally i.e. attempted break in? Or was it domestic violence related?

I had a health visitor visit a couple of days ago. I’m 37 weeks pregnant with first child.

She didn’t look round the house but did ask us employment questions- checked our knowledge on safe sleep, feeding etc.
She was friendly and made small talk too.

That’s nuts tbh

Health visitor came to ours when baby was a week old - we lived in a tiny 1 bed flat with absolutely no space - we were all squished into a tiny bedroom - the place was a mess (just had a baby lolz !! )

Health visitor didn’t say anything about it / needing a room for baby when she was bigger or that there was any other issues with the place 🤷‍♀️

Reckon yours was just nosey 😂

She was my first HV and she said that in the first meet and greet lol I think she meant domestic violence related. She was a horrible bitch btw thought she was it because of her degree. I loved my second one who is so much human.

I had my first baby living in a city where there’d been a horrific case of children starved to death and neglected in squalor upstairs whilst parents entertained in a clean smart posh room downstairs so everyone HV had to see every room. It was slightly odd but I completely understand why they did it. Moved house before having my second and HV was completely unconcerned about anything like that

@Nc4post99

‘@HadEnoughofOtherThreads as if! That’s flipping horrendous, I’d have been raging. I hope you complained! Xx’

I did, which is why they did not send another HV round!
My area is Labour too. We lived in a Tory area when DC1 was born and I recall only one HV visiting.

Forgot to add - our babies slept in a Moses basket and then a cot in our bedroom for at least the first few months - 1yr, so there was no rush to set up the cot delivery within days of baby’s birth.

I took all DC’s to the Baby Clinic for weighing once a week when HV visits ended. This was all before Covid though.
All NHS staff should be wearing masks when they are in contact with clients.
Good luck xx

I thinking from this thread how many people have no idea about Child Protection procedures and nursing/ medical/ social work legal responsibilities.
Many community nurses do indeed look around people’s homes to ensure the child’s basic needs are met. I have looked in bedrooms ( some children have no beds/ filthy bedding) , checked in bathrooms for toothbrushes, looked in fridges / cupboards for food. So for those spouting she was being nosey perhaps you should know the law before shooting out. Old house new house rich or poor, young parents or old children are at or being neglected every single day. Thankfully some of these children are saved quite literally by HV looking round your house.

They're not though are they @giggly, that's just rude. If you came round my house and asked to look in cupboards I'd tell you where to go. If children were actually saved by HV visits I wouldn't mind, but it's questionable what impact being nosey actually has.

If any HV had looked at my sleeping arrangement they would have seen an unused moses basket but both my littlies slept in the bed with me. Was thankfully suggested by a b feeding support worker who knew the reality for b feeding mother's

Well during covid health visitors were non existent so I highly doubt they will inspect your house! If it was fine to not even contact a new mum, then I’m sure they won’t need to do that.

@giggly thing is though it’s not ‘the law’ is it? And it’s clearly not standard practice or pretty much every person on this thread would have had their cupboards inspected as you say.

Surely every parent cannot be treated with that level of heightened suspicion that every square inch of their home needs to be inspected? I’m sure that’s for children who have been identified as being at severe risk, or else simply how does anything get done?

I’d also cast serious doubt on the fact that any of these hv checks like you said save lives? If the service was that crucial then it wouldn’t be in limbo now. This isn’t an off with their heads to HV thread anyway.

My issue isn’t I’m worried about covid, it’s that when I genuinely called for help, they were sodding useless (pre covid so no excuse) refused to provide breastfeeding support, said to give a breastfed baby water for colic, suggested force feeding and to stop giving a baby milk (breast or formula) at 7 months old so they learn to eat food. All this advice IS actually deadly. So off the back of that, i don’t really want someone poking around my house, especially when if I had followed their advice I would have put DD in serious risk.

Happy for the early doors weight checks as they are necessary but not a snoop and not for weigh in clinics and definitely not their advice on introducing solids.

Also it’s important to add that there are no risk factors that would indicate that we’d benefit from an additional measure of checking / ‘ support’

@Nc4post99 Government legislation. Go research.

[quote giggly]@Nc4post99 Government legislation. Go research.[/quote]
Name it. Government legislation on health visitors doing full house inspections for every single birth? Please tell me. Especially considering the HV service isn’t obligatory

This wasn't a thing with my first but was with my second.

She asked if she could see upstairs, I said no, she asked why, I said my husband was napping, she asked if he worked nights, I pointed at the ten day old baby and told her we were both working nights at the moment.

Never offer them a brew, it's the postpartum equivalent of inviting a vampire into your house.

With cuts in services, the HV service has changed. They barely have time to do anything these days. This is partly due, to HVs dealing with far more child protection cases. Cuts in services have also affected social care, leaving HVs with massive child protection caseloads.

Some of the comments on here about HVs inspecting your cupboards etc., are bollocks. HVs are asked by management to check the baby’s sleeping arrangements in order to advise on safe sleeping. You can refuse and nothing will happen.

I'm not to keen with hv, I find they can be nosey but I guess this is the way they have to be. When I had my second child my hv asked me if I feel like a proper mummy now? I thought what a strange thing to say and I really didn't like her stupid comment. Didn't know you can refuse hv home visits if I knew this back then I wish I did resuse to have her come round my home.

I can believe it. I had ds in 2001 and HV were much more involved and if you got an old skool one you did what she said! I remember mine looking round my flat , no opening cupboards though.

@CamillaRose

You can decline anything you don't want Mine said if I refused access she’d have to inform social services that she had been unable to ascertain the safety of my baby and verify the suitability of his living conditions.

You should have just said 'OK do that then' They don't have as much power as they think they do! It's a shame for the nice/competent/caring ones, but the vast majority are nasty, bullying, incompetent, witches. Some are just plain weird!

Nothing wrong with saying no!

Some HVs are good (I assume, never met one myself), some are batshit and laws unto themselves. I just let them get on with it, smile and nod, and ignore the advice – from “if cosleeping, just pop baby on top of the duvet” (instead of “keep the bloody duvet away from a newborn”), to “here’s my handmade pamphlet with recipes for weaning” which involved sugary rusks?!

Experiences with HVs vary hugely so it is not fair to say it's bollocks. I have experience of 3, and even though they were all from the same practice and within 3 years, the experiences were all different. And their advice was all different too You may say 'nothing will happen' if you refuse.... some of them are power mad and will make veiled threats which are probably idle threats but when you're a FTM it is frightening.

One lectured me about caffeine and diet but it didn't stop her drinking my filter coffee and eating my biscuits several visits running. The same one stayed hours for no apparent reason whilst explaining how rushed of her feet she was.

Another spotted a tin of Yardley Lavender talc that I bought as a present for my great aunt, but before I could even explain this she went on a big rant about the evils of talc.