Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

well for sure, but there must be another solution than having to go into the school grounds with your child, their peers and their parents stinking of meat factory, and if there isnt, then oh well, nothing can be done.
Fact is, OP goes to school stinking. Some of the parents have noticed and made a comment. Noones banned her from school grounds or told her she isnt allowed to. Theyve just come up with possible solutions. Work smells are a fact of life, but some are worse than others. OP has said they wear the same clothes to work and school as dont want to ruin good clothes, but what are you saving the good clean clothes for if its not for times when youre going to have to be round other people that you might want to not stink in front of?

You either do something about it, or you develop a thicker skin for comments and just hope they dont affect your kid

Agree with PP. Either deal with the comments or find a solution. Id rather my child be 5 mins late every day than go in stinking of meat. It will start to effect on the childs social life.

You do realise that any smell is in fact tiny airborne particles of the offensive substance reaching your nostrils?

People shit everyday. People pick up their dogs shit everyday. Without washing hands. Being near a person who washed a meat machine won't make you sick.

The smell is a bit yuck. Not OP's fault and not much she can do about it other than mask it with perfume and make it more offensive.

@Marni83

*Not necessarily. The other parent could already have left and DC could be old enough to wait at home. Lots of schools aren't accessible on foot which would explain why OP has to drop off.*

You wouldn’t wait at the door to school with a child old enough to stay at home!

She said in the first post she was waiting for a teacher to speak to IIRC

It's interesting to see the passive voice used in the context of bullying. Also the associated strong whiff of victim blaming.

'He'll get bullied because of you...'

No, the reason bullies bully is that there is something wrong with them. There is something wrong with the woman who mentioned the smell.

When it comes to preventing bullying, we need to look at the bullies and figure out what's wrong with them and we need to stop implying that victims bring it upon themselves, that it is inevitable and impossible to stop.

When it comes to preventing bullying, we need to look at the bullies and figure out what's wrong with them and we need to stop implying that victims bring it upon themselves, that it is inevitable and impossible to stop.

Succinct and bang on. I love @mathanxiety posts.

I would confront head on and say you overheard their comment and you want to explain why you smell.
What they said was unkind but they may not have meant to cause offence or to upset you.
You might be surprised by their response (hopefully an apology) or they might just be arseholes.

You’re in the Mirror OP!

@Wolfiefan

You’re in the Mirror OP!

Ugh, really? That’s a cunt’s trick from them. Get a real job.

OP should have a shower on her last break at work. I've worked in many factories and they all have them. I would have to say yogurt was the worst smelling.

@Wolfiefan

You’re in the Mirror OP!

Oh no!

Maybe the other parents will read it and stop commenting.

@listentomydeclaration

You work 8-8 with zero break at all, to put on some deodorant and perfume? Can you not do that in the car? Do you shower every day? brush teeth? You say you wear the same clothes each day - do you never wash these clothes? Can you get a spare set? Do you smoke? Can anyone else take the DC to school? I've never heard of anyone working 12 hours every day, unless you are counting your commute into that. It would be illegal for starters. I'm going to say YABU. I think you are making excuses here.

Hahahaha, you must live in a very small bubble.

Op, I've been there many a moon ago. I was a bistro chef and I STANK. I'd then have to run to teach one of my classes as a PhD student. And people did talk. I was furious because the people who were snide bastards also had mummy and daddy funding their lifestyle - I had to work around the clock. I often felt like I could feel the grease clinging to me. It was awful. I don't think people understand the "no time to change" comment unless they've done it themselves.

It's just not possible.

A baby wipe and a change of clothing even if you had the chance wouldn't go far. It helps a bit but it's in the hair and skin. Fuck them.

My Dad worked the docks and often smelled of the old boats. Then he was a gardener and it wasn't all flowers. My Grandad was a miner and my Dad told me of the smell he came home with. It's the smell of labour, whatever the work.

Be proud. If it helps, I'm a SAHM these days but I'd never act like this. The self proclaimed yummy mummy types though, well they can sod off. Hold your head up high.

I don’t think it has anything to do with them being SAHM.

I too would find it gross if you stank, especially of meat.

I wouldn’t say it to your face…. Unless really obnoxious.

I’m whosever sad you have to work such hours :(

Good on you for working so hard. They are just rude x

You seem to only listen to ppl on here that say what you want to hear.. it's fine go girl. But do you want to be the mum who's kids are embarrassed that you smell and word gets around etc? I'd make the time to do one of the many surgestions given here. Or don't take offence when ppl say you smell. Even if that was horrible manners to say it in ear shot.

Like I said I worry for your child you know what kids can be like especially with big mouthed parents.

Sorry for sounding harsh, you do otherwise sound like a wonder woman, I know I work long hours too and it bloody tough and some don't get it.

I really wanted to be on your side for this. I dislike judgey people but the second you suggested that the mums that show up to pick up that aren't exactly in your situation do "God knows what" means you still haven't seen the part you play in this.

No one is perfect and we all make stupid comments. I can totally relate with the hurt you are feeling but to then try throw another parent under the bus while seeking support creates yet another vicious cycle.

You have no idea what they do for a living, what their circumstances are. Whether they cake on makeup to hide the wounds of DV, or whether they are so snowed in under debt that the only way to feel a breathe of fresh air is to join in on a silly comment like "she stinks".
The reality is, you don't know.

I've worked in jobs were I rocked up to my son with a broken arm at school completely covered in muck and grease and feral and if someone is going to make a comment so be it. I know in my heart that I am doing my best AND if my child is bullied because I smell or i'm dirty or I can't show up to parent functions because of our family choices than I will discuss with my child what is and isn't appropriate in response to bullies and to empower them to rise above.

You have no idea what they do for a living, what their circumstances are. Whether they cake on makeup to hide the wounds of DV, or whether they are so snowed in under debt that the only way to feel a breathe of fresh air is to join in on a silly comment like "she stinks".
The reality is, you don't know

Well that’s ok then isn’t it. Bully someone else to make yourself feel better.

No. I don’t care what your home circumstances are. I am sorry if anyone is going through a tough time for whatever reason, it’s no excuse to make some else feel shit just so you can feel like they are better than that person for a few seconds.

@izzylou2

We can’t go around thinking that anyone behaving nastily might be concealing a world of pain!!

No excuse… shower, change clothes ‘Daily’, use deodorant!

Try fablousa fabric spray see if that helps, unfortunately, you can't help unreasonable parents, my mum used to get stick for picking me up in her pajamas but considering she worked nights as a nurse I always thought it was quite reasonable considering she just got up to pick me up and would give me dinner and go to bed to get some more sleep for her next shift.

Do none of you read? The OP works a 12 hour in a meat factory then goes straight to dropping their kid off at school which is a 30 minute drive. Some of you people are real shitty for your comments in your perfect little mumsnet lives!
Jesus, I’m so shocked by some of the hate on here.

Dif you wash your work clothes and change them everyday that’s all you can do , maybe stand a distance away from the moaners x

People are going on about the OP smelling of meat. Isn't it more likely to be the chemicals she works with to clean?
OP it sounds like you are working really hard and I'd like to say ignore the snide remarks but if it effects your DS then you have to find a solution. Any chance of someone else dropping him school?

@Doodlesplodge17

Do none of you read? The OP works a 12 hour in a meat factory then goes straight to dropping their kid off at school which is a 30 minute drive. Some of you people are real shitty for your comments in your perfect little mumsnet lives! Jesus, I’m so shocked by some of the hate on here.

She can change out of her clothes so she doesn’t stink.