Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

Wow! That’s awful. Great role models for their children. I’d feel really angry but also hurt too, it would take you straight back to the playground if you weren’t already there wouldn’t it?

Do you know who said it? If there is a next time, and if you are braver than me, could you say something like “I don’t stink any more than you would straight after a 12 hour shift at meat factory and no, I don’t get time to change or shower before dropping off.

I’d also email the teacher to explain and share your concern hat it might filter down to the children and some is said to your DC and would the teacher mind keeping an eye out.

Some people have no idea how lucky they are.

Presumably you wear protective clothing at the factory that is removed to leave? If that isn’t provided because you are post food processing stage, perhaps you can ask for it, or does it just get into everything despite that?

• sorry you’ve answered the last paragraph already.

They are horrible people and should be ashamed.

You have nothing to be ashamed of, quite the opposite.

Lightdrizzle said exactly what I was going to say. Be polite but assertive.

Can you not change before you leave work? It'll take all of two mins to change clothes and spray some deodorant.

If it were me then id just own it and say yes I do , I'm here straight from the night shift and then walk off.

They were very rude but it is possible you are "noseblind" to the ambient odours. Do they know you go straight from work?

How horrible of them to comment.

Like others have said, you know why this is and can ignore them and not take it to heart.

If this was my schedule, I think I’d always keep face wipes, deodorant and a couple of fresh hoodies and caps in the car to cover work top and hair, possibly sprayed with a bit of Febreeze (perfume would be too much) before putting them in the bag so when they come out it’s enough to cover the work smell but not overbearing to others as it would be if they were freshly sprayed.

Do they know about your work because if they don't then they will only be aware that they can smell you, which they would generally think was avoidable for most people and not realise why. If you make a casual comment that you're shattered after 12 hours cleaning in a meat factory and can't wait to get home for a shower it might shut them up. They certainly shouldn't be commenting in front of their children. To try and deal with possible bullying for your son could you wear a jumpsuit over a tshirt and quickly take it off and yank on a pair of jeans in the toilet before setting off from work? It might lessen the problem. A quick spray of deodorant as well or use neutradol or similar when washing your work clothes to try and get some protection.

There's a few parents at our school who've clearly come straight off shift from 'hands on' work...and are a bit sweaty to boot - because they've rushed to get to school on time!

They're working parents doing their best, and just like you it's good enough. If your child is clean and ready for school on time you're doing a damn sight better than some of the SAHP around here.

The other parents are arseholes. Please just ignore them, if they end up with offspring as delightful as them and your child starts being teased, raise this with the school directly so their 'darlings' can be pulled up on their behaviour.

Buy a couple of cheap tracksuits and jump into one at the end of your shift, also give yourself a spray. It won’t take two minutes. You will be used to the smell but it will be overpowering to others. Don’t let your son be the one with the smelly mum.

Very rude

How far is the drive to school?

@SummerHouse

Whatever the background story on your aroma, they are utter arseholes.

When you consider the background, they are even bigger arseholes.

At least you can shower. They will always be arseholes.

Total arseholes!

You could have turned around, no raised voice or high drama and said

“If my child has said that - “I would have said, that is very rude. Please apologise now”. You are not a child though and should know better.”

Well they shouldn't have said it out loud but someone smelling very strongly of meat and whatever is going to be noticed. IF someone smelled like that at school drop off and I didn't know they had come straight from the meat factory, I'd be surprised at the smell as well. As would anyone.

Everyone saying it would take two minutes, in reality; that’s unlikely as she’s not already in the changing area/ her bedroom and depending what I’m wearing, two minutes would be a push for me even if teleported there. She certainly can’t wash her hair which is probably a big part of it (thinks of bacon sandwiches past).

Sometimes people just don’t get time to make themselves clean and fresh and put a bow and a smile on for the school run. Obviously Mr Cholmondley-Warner would disapprove and if OP must work then perhaps she could be a florist, but you’d hope we’d moved on since those times.

Where is your husband in this? Can he help in some way?

Was it a bit cruel to mention? Yes. But seriously- 12 hours cleaning equipment in a meat factory- I'd imagine there is an aroma. You're not going to change how they see you, or smell you, unless you either change before drop off, which you say is impossible, or confront the parent and explain your situation

I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.
Next time say something. ‘I’ve just got off a 12 hour night shift and have raced here to bring my son to school.‘

I work in a hospital we get changed at the end of a shift into different clothes can you do that ??

They were rude. But really you need to find a way to sort this out.

But also, the fact is that you do smell. If you’re not able to do anything about it then you can help it. But it doesn’t change the fact.

Who is at home with Ds when you work? Can they not bring him to school? Whatever about the smell, it's a lot of racing for you to be back in time to bring him to school.

I worked in a cooked meat factory for a while and I definitely smelled at the end of shifts. The same went for other food factories I worked in.

You either need to accept you're whiffy and some parents are dickish enough to comment on it (get a thicker skin basically), or do something to ensure you don't smell.

TBH you sound a bit rude about commenting on how the other women 'don't work'. You're upset that they're judging you, but you're judging them too. Be proud of what you do, don't worry about them.

I'd suggest a change of clothes that takes all of 30 seconds at the end of your shift before you drive home.

If you're smelling that strongly others will notice even if they're more polite about it.

Clearly this is very rude indeed. I understand you have no choice but arguably it is also rude to others to go and stand next to others when you know the smell is offensive. Is there anything you can do? Ie just change a few mins before the end of your shift?