Someone said I stink

[Jen871]

This is more like a rant. When I'm doing the school run I wear the same clothes as I work 12 hour nights 8-8 and my son starts school at 8.45. I wear the same clothes to work because I work in a factory and I don't want to ruin good clothes.

The other day I was waiting for the teacher to open the door with some other parents, when I heard one of the parents say to the other that I stink. This annoyed me but I didn't say anything.

The annoying part is that these women don't work. They drop their kids off to school and then god knows what, they have no idea the 12 hour shift I've just done and how hard me and my husband work to be able to afford the luxuries we have.

I don't want my son picked on at school because parents are going around saying I stink. It's annoying as hell. I can't get changed after work because there just isn't time.

Green Willow: What do you think is causing the smell?
........

I know you were not asking me but minute particles of cooked meat which are decomposing, being out of the fridge, is my guess. Unavoidable given the op's job.

It’s not being privileged to want to reduce the stink. I wouldn’t go down the yard and wear my wellies or riding boots covered in shit when I collect my child.
If OP actually does stink why on Earth wouldn’t you take some action to reduce that before turning up at the school?

The woman who OP heard saying this was unkind, gossipy and thoughtless.

Some posters on this thread have been 10x worse. Please, take a look at what you've written and think about OP's reality.

Other posters should RTFT. She hasn't got time to change.

OP should take up smoking cigars. That'd disguise the smell. And it'd give the miserable women at the school gate something else to gossip about.

OP has to go home to get the child. Someone else must be caring for the child. So they get child in car for her. She strips off and shoves clothes in washing machine and puts on joggers. Maybe 40 seconds.
It really isn’t great to turn up “stinking”. No. Those women shouldn’t have made rude comments. But that doesn’t mean it’s fine.

so rude of that woman

But fgs op think about your son

1. Can’t be all the pleasant for him in the car

But more importantly 2. He will soon be aware of how you present yourself at the school… and this is likely to really embarrass him

OP has to go home to get the child. Someone else must be caring for the child.

Not necessarily. The other parent could already have left and DC could be old enough to wait at home. Lots of schools aren't accessible on foot which would explain why OP has to drop off.

So they get child in car for her. She strips off and shoves clothes in washing machine and puts on joggers. Maybe 40 seconds.

It reads to me like OP pulls up, child runs out, gets in the car and OP drives to the school. And it wouldn't take 40 seconds to get out of the car, go inside, change, get back out (with child) and go. More like 5+ minutes, and OP has said numerous times that she just doesn't have time.

Not necessarily. The other parent could already have left and DC could be old enough to wait at home. Lots of schools aren't accessible on foot which would explain why OP has to drop off.

You wouldn’t wait at the door to school with a child old enough to stay at home!

@icedcoffees

OP has to go home to get the child. Someone else must be caring for the child.

Not necessarily. The other parent could already have left and DC could be old enough to wait at home. Lots of schools aren't accessible on foot which would explain why OP has to drop off.

So they get child in car for her. She strips off and shoves clothes in washing machine and puts on joggers. Maybe 40 seconds.

It reads to me like OP pulls up, child runs out, gets in the car and OP drives to the school. And it wouldn't take 40 seconds to get out of the car, go inside, change, get back out (with child) and go. More like 5+ minutes, and OP has said numerous times that she just doesn't have time.

Pack bag of clothes Change in car

Where there’s a will there’s a way

You wouldn’t wait at the door to school with a child old enough to stay at home!

Depends on the school rules, surely? Or if you need to speak to the teacher about something or not?

Lots of Year 6 DC are old enough to be left alone for 30 minutes in the morning, for example.

Pack bag of clothes. Change in car

Again, there isn't always time!

You can really see the privilege of some people here. Some people finish work and have to go straight to the school gates. They don't physically have time to stop and change. And where is OP going to be able to pull over and get changed quickly while she remains decent, anyway?!

@icedcoffees

You wouldn’t wait at the door to school with a child old enough to stay at home!

Depends on the school rules, surely? Or if you need to speak to the teacher about something or not?

Lots of Year 6 DC are old enough to be left alone for 30 minutes in the morning, for example.

Pack bag of clothes. Change in car

Again, there isn't always time!

You can really see the privilege of some people here. Some people finish work and have to go straight to the school gates. They don't physically have time to stop and change. And where is OP going to be able to pull over and get changed quickly while she remains decent, anyway?!

So if older - then likely is or will soon be mortified by how his mother is presenting herself

Not enough time?! She’s waiting for the child to go in. So obviously there in sufficient time. Enough time to sit in front seat whilst son gets in, pulling off her top and putting a clean one on and a spritz of deodorant m

I'm sure the OP has time to pee on her way out of work, so maybe she could change her top and spray deodorant at the same time. It would take less time than changing a tampon.

And if it is cut so fine that there isn't time to even do thst, then a single stray traffic light, would make her late, and frankly, its not going to be viable on a long term basis.

Even an effort to address it, even if its just masking, will be appreciated, especially when people eventually click that shes been at work all night.

Yes dear. That was part of my wider point. We are surrounded by odours. OP is not covered in decomposing meat.

But enjoy your hyperbole.

@Teaandcakeordeath83

I can't stand rudeness. I think if I overheard someone say that about me I'd have to pull them up on it. "I've worked 12 hours and have come straight here. Do you have a problem with that?"

What the hell are they teaching their kids? To be arseholes like them I assume.

I'd go with this. How bloody rude. Hope they choke on their skinny lattes.

@Jen871 how old is your child? If old enough to go to class from your car I would do that.

If not then ask for some flexibility at work

Coming from a household where curry is often cooked, I am more conscious of smells and wouldn't want to impose bad smells on anyone.

And actually the isn't it a fact you smell bad? You agree righty? So instead of being offended how about you say - yeah sorry about that- I work in a meat factory and came straight from work?

And if it is cut so fine that there isn't time to even do thst, then a single stray traffic light, would make her late, and frankly, its not going to be viable on a long term basis.

Yes it likely would, but having to provide for her family and having to marry it with the school run are never going to completely mesh - simply one of those things that result in DS being late occasionally.

My first job was cleaning a supermarket including a bakery and butchery machines, and the smell was palpable at the end and only a long shower/bath would remove it.

Are the goady idiots who can't read the OP doesn't have five minutes to wash/change done yet? This thread has highlighted the level of privilege on this board.

@icedcoffees

OP has to go home to get the child. Someone else must be caring for the child.

Not necessarily. The other parent could already have left and DC could be old enough to wait at home. Lots of schools aren't accessible on foot which would explain why OP has to drop off.

So they get child in car for her. She strips off and shoves clothes in washing machine and puts on joggers. Maybe 40 seconds.

It reads to me like OP pulls up, child runs out, gets in the car and OP drives to the school. And it wouldn't take 40 seconds to get out of the car, go inside, change, get back out (with child) and go. More like 5+ minutes, and OP has said numerous times that she just doesn't have time.

I agree, although think OP's child must be young. She wouldn't need to walk an older child right to their classroom. But it doesn't matter anyway as like you said, OP said her son runs out to the car so nobody is having to get him in, whatever his age.

I feel like if OP had time to do many of these things suggested she surely would already have done them?

It sounds like the most she can do in terms of actually lessening the smell for people around is throw a sweater/coat on over the top of her work clothes for the school drop off and hope for the best.

The only other thing would be to speak to the other parents once the kids have gone in and just explain that she's been at work overnight in the factory.

Or if that feels too awkward, even just have an audible chat with her own son, in earshot of the other parents, referencing how she's come straight from her night shift.

What time does the dad start work? Can he not drop off at breakfast club? Then OP can shower at home.

I wouldn’t like the smell of meat but I certainly wouldn’t voice that!
They are rude.

I worked in a pub kitchen when I was a student. I did a 6 hour shift. By the time I got home, the cooking smells were ingrained into my hair and skin. Changing clothes and squirting on some deodorant would not have made a jot of difference. The only thing that got rid of the smell was a long, hot bath and a good scrub!

I think the other mums are nasty bullies. I wouldn't dream of passing comment like that about anyone. And I agree that their kids will probably turn out the same.

Hats off to you, OP. You work hard for your family and it sounds like you have real pressure everyday to get from work to home to school. You shouldn't have to listen to offensive comments when you're doing the school drop off.

@Prokupatuscrakedatus

To those who never had to work in that kind of environment. The smell lingers in hair and skin - the clothes are not the problem.

True, but it does help. A fresh top, a wetwipe and some dry shampoo or a hat would definitely help.

Squirt of man deodorant before you get out the car. If you overhear the same shrug at them & say you just got of shift & are heading home. Be kind to yourself. You are working most people are so wrapped up in their own lives at drop off/pick up your factory smell wont ever register.

Yes a lot of replies here are clueless -- of course the OP can't ask to leave work 30 minutes early so she can shower!

But there is a middle ground between all the preposterous suggestions and 'don't do anything', a lot of us who have worked in stinky environments are saying there are some quick things to do that would at least help a little bit.

Changing your clothes and shoes DOES help. You will still stink but not nearly so much, especially if you're outdoors and not too close to people. And anyway, this is much more hygienic.

I agree that spraying perfume or body spray on top of everything will not help and just make things worse though.

Imagine the comments OP would get if she did the school run drenched in perfume/febreeze/body spray!

These sprays arent going to work because as soon as the OP starts moving the underlying work smell will come through. It's like perfume wont cover the smell of garlic.

@Jen871 You smell of good, honest, toil. Do not be ashamed of it. If they want their processed meats they need to accept the fact that people have to do the work to create them.

well someone has to have been looking after the kid overnight while OP works, so maybe they could drop kid at school, as if it is as people are saying, a stink that gets into every pore and changing clothes or perfumes dont touch it, then you are setting your son up to get shitty comments from his peers too. Jobs arent exactly thin on the ground these days either, so you may have some wiggle room to ask to finish 15 mins earlier to change clothes or shower

Jobs arent exactly thin on the ground these days either, so you may have some wiggle room to ask to finish 15 mins earlier to change clothes or shower

The OP hasnt specified where they live and presumably wouldnt actively choose a job with unsociable hours (and smells!) if jobs were ten a penny!
And I dont work shifts and I do have flexibility to a degree in my work schedule but I'm pretty sure a lot of shift jobs require a set number of people for a set numbers of hours for insurance or safety (or for optimum production) If you could choose your hours why would OP have chosen to finish work and get her child to school by the skin of her teeth?